If then you were raised with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ is, sitting at the right hand of God. Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth. For you died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is our life appears, then you also will appear with Him in glory.

a. If then you were raised with Christ: Paul begins a section where he focuses on practical Christian living. But practical Christian living is built on the foundation of theological truth. Because we know that Jesus is really raised from the dead, then our identification with Him becomes real. It is only because we were raised with Christ that we can seek those things which are above.

b. Set your mind on things above: The best Christian lives from from minds that are fixed on heaven. They realize that their lives are now hidden with Christ in God, and since Jesus is enthroned in heaven, their thoughts and hearts are connected to heaven also.

i. We are told to seek those things which are above, and set our mind on things above. But how do we practically seek and set?

·        By spending time in the Word of God.

·        By spending time in prayer.

·        By spending time with things that build us up in God instead of merely entertaining us.

·        By gathering with others in the Lord.

c. When Christ who is our life appears, then you also will appear with Him in glory: If we keep our mind in heaven now, then when Jesus does appear, we will appear with Him in glory. Though we wait for Jesus, we can be with Him right now, setting our mind of things above.

Therefore put to death your members which are on the earth: fornication, uncleanness, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. Because of these things the wrath of God is coming upon the sons of disobedience, in which you yourselves once walked when you lived in them.

a. Therefore put to death your members: Therefore points back to our identification with the risen and enthroned Lord Jesus mentioned in Colossians 3:1-4. It's because we understand this fact that we can put to death the things in our life that are contrary to our identity with Jesus.

b. Fornication, uncleanness, passion and evil desire: Each of these terms refer to sexual sins. Covetousness is simple, but insidious greed, and nothing less than idolatry. There is no way that Jesus would walk in any of these sins, so if we identify with Him, we won't walk in them either.

c. Because of these things: The sins mentioned previously are part of the way the world lives, not the way Jesus lives. Every Christian is faced with a question: "Who will identify with, the world or Jesus?"

d. The wrath of God is coming upon the sons of disobedience: These sins invite the wrath of God. Because the world loves this kind of sinful lifestyle, they don't come in humility to Jesus. As they continue in these sins, it adds to their condemnation. One sin is enough to send anyone to hell (Deuteronomy 3:10), but there are greater levels of condemnation (Matthew 23:14).

i. In part, the wrath of God comes as God allows men to continue in sinful - and therefore self-destructive - behavior (Romans 1:24-32).

e. In which you yourselves once walked when you lived in them: These sins may mark a world in rebellion against God, but they are in the past tense for the Christian.

i. Simply put, the Christian should not live like the sons of disobedience. A true Christian can not be comfortable in habitual sin.

ii. Paul says that Christians once walked in these sins. It is possible - though tragic - that these sins should occasionally mark a Christian's life, but they must not be a Christian's walk, their manner of living.

But now you yourselves are to put off all these: anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy language out of your mouth. Do not lie to one another, since you have put off the old man with his deeds,

a. But now you yourselves are to put off all these: The sins Paul next lists (anger, wrath, and so forth) are regarded by many as "little" sins that Christians can overlook. Paul challenges us to put off the old man in every area of our lives.

b. Anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy language out of your mouth. Do not lie: Each of these sins are primarily committed by what we say. When Paul calls the believer to a deeper obedience, he tells us to bridle our tongue (James 1:26, James 3:1-9).

c. Since you have put off the old man with his deeds: The more notorious sins of Colossians 3:5 are easily seen as incompatible with the nature of Jesus. But these "lesser" sins are also incompatible, so put off these sins also.

B. Put on the new man.

And have put on the new man who is renewed in knowledge according to the image of Him who created him, where there is neither Greek nor Jew, circumcised nor uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave nor free, but Christ is all and in all.

a. Put on the new man: The phrase Paul used is used for changing a set of clothes. We can almost picture yourself taking off the old and putting on the new man in Jesus.

b. Who is renewed in knowledge: The new man is renewed in knowledge, he is hungry to know what God says in His Word.

c. According to the image of Him who created him: The image of God is being restored in the new man, and restored through the knowledge of God.

i. Man is created in the image of God, so he is an object of Satanic hatred. Satan wants to deface that image in rebellion and degradation, though it can never be obliterated. God's plan is to restore His image in us.

d. Where there is neither Greek nor Jew, circumcised nor uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave nor free: The new man is part of a family, which favors no race, nationality, class, culture or ethnicity. It only favors Jesus, because in this new family, Christ is all and in all.

Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do. But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection. And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord. And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.

a. Therefore, as the elect of God: The new man is elect of God. This means that God has chosen the Christian, and chosen him to be something special in His plan. "Elect" is a word that frightens some, but it should be taken as a comfort and as a destiny to fulfill.

b. Put on tender mercies, kindness, humility: Each one of the qualities mentioned in this passage express themselves in relationships. A significant measure of our Christian life is found simply in how we treat people.

i. Remember the criteria Jesus gave regarding how the world could judge His people: By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another (John 13:35).

ii. Each of these qualities also tell us what it means to live in the nature of Jesus, as Philippians 2:1-11 describes.

c. Forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do: We are told to live forgiving one another, after the pattern of Jesus' forgiveness towards us.

i. Forgiveness is a promise, made in response to repentance, to completely reconcile and to put the offense out of one's mind. When a person says "I'll forgive but I won't forget," they don't understand what forgiveness is.

ii. The promise of forgiveness, as with the pattern of Christ's forgiveness, is not made to the unrepentant, but to those who even show the slightest promise of repentance (Luke 17:3-4).

iii. If an offending party is unrepentant, it does no good for the offended one to hold on to their hurt and bitterness. Even if true forgiveness and reconciliation cannot be made because there is no recognition of wrong, the offended party still can and must give it to the Lord God and make the promise of forgivenss unto God. We can do this after the pattern of Jesus in Luke 23:34.

iv. If we do this, it will be evident by a lack of bitterness and resentment towards the offending party, and a willingness to restore the relationship at the slightest evidence of repentance.

d. Above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection: Love is the summary of all the things described in this passage. Love perfectly fulfills what God requires of us in relationships.

e. And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body: The rule of the peace of God means that peace should characterize the community of God's people, and that peace is a standard for discerning God's will.

i. The phrase let the peace of God rule in your hearts could also be translated, "Let the peace of God be the umpire in your life." We allow the peace of God, in accordance with His Word, to say "fair" or "foul" in our life.

f. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs: The new man walks in the Word, and in worship with other believers.

g. Do all in the name of the Lord Jesus: The new man lives his life, all his life, for Jesus.

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them.

a. Wives, submit: The ancient Greek word translated submit is essentially a word borrowed from the military. It literally means "to be under in rank." It speaks of the way that an army is organized among levels of rank. You have Generals and Colonels and Majors and Captains and Sergeants and Privates. There are levels of rank, and you are obligated to respect those in higher rank.

i. We know that as a person, a Private can be smarter, more talented, and a better person than a General. But he is still under rank to the General. He isn't submitted to the General so much as a person as he is to the General as a General. In the same way, the wife doesn't submit to her husband because he deserves it. She submits because he is her husband.

ii. The idea of submission doesn't have anything to do with someone being smarter or better or more talented. It has to do with a God-appointed order. "Anyone who has served in the armed forces knows that 'rank' has to do with order and authority, not with value or ability." (Wiersbe)

iii. Submission does not mean inferiority. Submission does not mean silence. Submission means "sub-mission." There is a mission for your marriage, and that mission is obeying and glorifying God. The wife says, "I'm going to put myself under that mission. That mission is more important than my individual desires. I'm not putting myself below my husband, I'm putting myself below the mission God has for our marriage, for my life."

iv. Submission means you are part of a team. If the family is a team, then the husband is "captain" of the team. The wife has her place in relation to the "captain," and the children have their place in relation to the "captain" and the wife.

b. Wives, submit to your own husbands: This defines the sphere of a wife's submission - to her own husband. The Bible never commands nor recommends a general submission of women unto men. It is commanded only in the spheres of the home and in the church. God does not command that men have exclusive authority in the areas of politics, business, education, and so on.

c. As is fitting in the Lord: This is a crucial phrase. It colors everything else we understand about this passage. There have been two man "wrong" interpretations of this phrase, each favoring a certain "position."

i. The interpretation that "favors" the husband says that as is fitting in the Lord means that a wife should submit to her husband as if he were God himself. The idea is "you submit to God in absolutely everything with question, so you must submit to your husband in the same absolute way." This thinks that as is fitting in the Lord defines the extent of submission. But this is wrong. Simply put, in no place does the Scripture say that a person should submit to another in that way. There are limits to the submission your employer can expect of you. There are limits to the submission the government can expect of you. There are limits to the submission parents can expect of children. In no place does the Scripture teach an unqualified, without exception, submission – except to God and God alone. To violate this is to commit the sin of idolatry.

ii. The interpretation that "favors" the wife says that as is fitting in the Lord means "I'll submit to him as long as he does what the Lord wants." And then it is the wife's job to decide what the Lord wants. This thinks that as is fitting in the Lord defines the limit of submission. This is also wrong. It is true that there are limits to a wife's submission, but when the wife approaches as is fitting in the Lord in this way, then it degenerates into a case of "I'll submit to my husband when I agree with him. I'll submit to him when he makes the right decisions and carries them out the right way. When he makes a wrong decision, he isn't in the Lord, so I shouldn't submit to him then. It isn't fitting to do so." Simply put, that is not submission at all. Except for those who are just plan cantankerous and argumentative, everyone submits to others when they are in agreement. It is only when there is a disagreement that submission is tested.

iii. As is fitting in the Lord does not define the extent of a wife's submission. It does not define the limit of a wife's submission. It defines the motive of a wife's submission. It means, "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands because it is a part of your duty to the Lord, because it is an expression of your submission to the Lord." They submit simply because it is fitting in the Lord to do it. It honors God's Word and His order of authority. It is part of their Christian duty and discipleship.

iv. Therefore, as is fitting in the Lord means:

·        For wives, submission to their husband is part of their Christian life.

·        When a wife doesn't obey this word to submit to your own husband as is fitting in the Lord, she doesn't just fall short as a wife. She falls short as a follower of Jesus Christ.

·        This means that the command to submit it completely out of the realm of "my nature" or "my personality." Wives aren't expected to submit because they are the "submissive type." They are expected to submit because it is fitting in the Lord.

·        This has nothing to do with your husband's intelligence, or giftedness, or capability. It has to do with honoring the Lord Jesus Christ.

·        This has nothing to do with whether or not your husband is "right" on a particular issue. It has to do with Jesus being right.

·        This means that a woman should take great care in how she chooses her husband. Remember, ladies: this is what God requires of you in marriage. This is His expectation of you. Instead of looking for an attractive man, instead of looking for a wealthy man, instead of looking for a romantic man, you better first look for a man you can respect.

v. As is the case in every human relationship, the command to submit is not absolute. There are exceptions to this command for a wife to submit to her own husband.

·        When the husband asks the wife to sin, she must not submit.

·        When the husband is medically incapacitated, insane, or under the influence of mind altering substances, the wife may not submit.

·        When the huband is violent and physically threatening, the wife may not submit.

·        When the husband breaks the marriage bond by adultery, they wife does not need to subit to her husband being in an adulterous relationship.

d. Husbands, love your wives: Paul's words to husbands safeguards his words to wives. Though wives are to submit to their husbands, it never excuses husbands acting as tyrants over their wives. Instead, a husband must love his wife, and the ancient Greek word translated love her is agape.

i. The ancient Greek language had several different words describing different kinds of love. Eros, storge, and philia each speak about love that is felt. These describe "instinctive" love, love that comes spontaneously from the heart. Paul assumes that eros (desire) and phileo (fondness) are present in marriage. Christians should not act as if these things do not matter in the marriage relationship. They do matter. But Paul's real point is to address a higher kind of love, agape love. Agape describes a different kind of love. It is a love more of decision than of the spontaneous heart; as much a matter of the mind than the heart, because it chooses to love the undeserving. Agape really doesn't have much to do with feelings - it has to do with decisions.

ii. Strictly speaking, agape can't be defined as "God's love," because men are said to agape sin and the world (John 3:19, 1 John 2:15). But it can be defined as a sacrificial, giving, absorbing, love. The word has little to do with emotion; it has much to do with self-denial for the sake of another.

·        It is a love that loves without changing.

·        It is a self-giving love that gives without demanding or expecting re-payment.

·        It is love so great that it can be given to the unlovable or unappealing.

·        It is love that loves even when it is rejected.

·        Agape love gives and loves because it wants to; it does not demand or expect repayment from the love given. It gives because it loves, it does not love in order to receive.

iii. We can read this passage and think that Paul means, "husband, be kind to your wife." Or "husband, be nice to your wife." There is no doubt that for many marriages, this would be a huge improvement. But that isn't what Paul writes about. What he really means is, "husband, continually practice self-denial for the sake of your wife."

iv. Of course, this agape love is the kind of love Jesus has for His people and this is the love husbands should imitate towards their wives (Ephesians 5:25).

e. And do not be bitter toward them: The implication is perhaps the wife has given the husband some reason to be bitter. Paul says, "that doesn't matter, husband." The husband may feel perfectly justified in his harsh or unloving attitude and actions towards his wife, but he is not justified - no matter how the wife has been towards the husband.

i. Agape loves even when there are obvious and glaring deficiencies, even when the receiver is unworthy of the love.

Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing to the Lord. Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.

a. Children, obey your parents in all things: Paul has in mind children who are still in their parents' household and under their authority. For these, they must not only honor their father and mother (Ephesians 6:2), but they must also obey them, and obey them in all things.

i. When a child is grown and out of their parents' household, they are no longer under the same obligation of obedience, but the obligation to honor your father and mother remains.

b. For this is well pleasing to the Lord: This is one of the important reasons for a child's obedience. When a child respects their paren't authority, they are respect God's order of authority in other areas of life.

i. This idea of an order of authority and submission to an order of authority are so important to God that they are part of His very being. The First Person of the Holy Trinity is called the Father; the Second Person of the Holy Trinity is called the Son. Inherent in those titles is a relationship of authority and submission to authority.

ii. The Father exercises authority over the Son, and the Son submits to the Father's authority - and this is in the very nature and being of God! Our failure to exercise Biblical authority, and our failure to submit to Biblical authority, isn't just wrong and sad - it sins against the very nature of God. Remember 1 Samuel 15:23: For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft.

c. Fathers, do not provoke your children: Children have a responsibility to obey, but parents - here, put into one as fathers - have a responsibility to not provoke their children. Parents can provoke their children by being too harsh, too demanding, too controling, unforgiving, or just plain angry. This harshness can be expressed through words, through actions, or through non-verbal communication.

i. In most parenting problems, the parent blames the child. It's easy to do, because the problem is usually most evident in the bad behavior in the child. But Paul wisely reminds us that the bad behavior may actually be provoked by the parent. When this is the case, it doesn't justify the bad behavior of the child, but it may explain part of its cause. It's up to parents to do everything they can to not provoke their children.

d. Lest they become discouraged: Children who grow up with parents who provoke them will become discouraged. They will not feel the love and the support from their parents like the should, and they will come be believe that the whole world is against them, because they feel their parents are against them. This reminds us how important it is to season our parenting with lots of grace. Perhaps we should be as gracious, gentle, forgiving, and longsuffering with our children as God is with us.

5. (3:22-4:1) The new man's servant and master relationship.

Bondservants, obey in all things your masters according to the flesh, not with eyeservice, as men-pleasers, but in sincerity of heart, fearing God. And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance; for you serve the Lord Christ. But he who does wrong will be repaid for what he has done, and there is no partiality. Masters, give your bondservants what is just and fair, knowing that you also have a Master in heaven.

a. Obey in all things your masters according to the flesh: As Christians put on the new man, they will show a properly submissive attitude towards their masters - in a modern context, towards their employer or supervisor.

i. This is another sphere of God's order of authority. Employees have a God-ordained role of obedience and submission to their employers or supervisors.

b. Not with eyeservice, as men-pleasers, but in sincerity of heart, fearing God: We are always tempted to work just as hard as we have to, thinking we only have to please man. But God wants every worker to see that ultimately, they work for Him. Therefore, they should do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men. God promises to reward those who work with that kind of heart.

i. The Christian who is a dishonest, lazy or unreliable worker has something far worse to deal with than a reprimand from his earthly supervisor. His heavenly supervisor may prepare a reprimand as well.

c. But he who does wrong will be repaid for what he has done: When a Christian worker does poorly in his job, he should not expect special leniency from his boss, especially if his boss is a Christian. Being a Christian should make us more responsible, not less responsible.

d. Masters, give your bondservants what is just and fair: As Christians put on the new man, they will be just and fair to those who work for them. It is a terrible thing for a boss to cheat or mistreat his workers, but far worse for a Christian to do it.

i. Christian masters or supervisors need to remember that they have a Master in heaven that they must answer to. Would they like God to treat them with the same measure of justice and fairness they have treated their workers with?