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Audio Shows

FamilyLife Blended® with Ron L. Deal

 

Is It Graduation Time?

Thursday, September 20, 2018

Ron L. Deal

It’s quiz time. What do graduation, getting married, getting pregnant or having a baby all have in common?

 

They all tell us a transition has occurred and things are different. How do stepfamilies know they are a family? In the beginning, you are a collection of people from different families who try to figure out how to be a family. At some point, you do figure it out and a stepparent starts acting like a parent and stepsiblings start pestering each other like they do brothers and sisters. Well, so far, there’s no formal graduation ceremony for becoming a family but maybe you can act like there is.

 

Listen

God Hates Divorce - Wednesday, September 19, 2018

I’m sorry, what’s your point?

 

As I explained how FamilyLife Blended ministers to stepfamilies a woman in the audience said she wasn’t sure she could support us because God hates divorce. What’s your point? First, I won't get into the difficulties of translating Malachi 2:16 that way but second, if you think God doesn’t help people nor does He want us to help people if they sin in their divorce; well, then the church should just shut its doors. God’s grace is intended for sinners. Even you. Don’t you want that for others?

Boundaries for School Activities - Tuesday, September 18, 2018

At school activities this year, let your kids be kids.

 

Co-parents and stepparents, do you feel stressed at your child’s school activities knowing there is another set of parents there? So do the kids. Stepfamily author, Heather Hetchler suggests you tell the kids that at school functions they can sit with whomever they want and greet you in any order they want. And, if you have a high conflict ex-spouse situation, act civil toward them in public no matter what. Essentially, make sure they don' have to pick sides. Give them permission to be a kid.

Even in Laughter (Proverbs 14:13) - Monday, September 17, 2018

Sometimes, joy is mixed with sorrow.

 

Life often puts us in situations where two very different experiences are juxtaposed. Proverbs 14 insightfully observes, “Even in laughter the heart may ache.” In blended families, a child may enjoy new siblings or a stepparent and still ache over someone who isn’t there or a widow may thank God for her second husband, but quietly lament the first. Is there something wrong with this? No. We can experience many things at the same time. And love those who do the same.

National Stepfamily Day - Friday, September 14, 2018

Do you expect to get paid extra for doing your job? Ahhh, nope.

You don’t expect anyone except your boss to say thank you, right? Parenting is like that. Parents expect their kids to be thankful, but we don’t expect others to thank us for caring for them. Stepparents are a little different. They give out of the overflow of their hearts so it’s nice when others notice what they do for their stepkids. September 16 is National Stepfamily Day. This is a good opportunity to honor stepparents and call attention to the love that’s shared in blended family homes.

To Know or To Take - Thursday, September 13, 2018

“To know” or “to take.”

In Psalm 139 David declares: “O Lord, you have searched me and known me.” The Hebrew word for known, yada, is a very intimate word. God knows me personally and he wants to be known by me, creating a close, intimate relationship. The same word is used for sexuality. It’s an intimate revealing form of communication. Now contrast that to how the world talks about sex. It’s what I can take. Not what I can give or share. Intimate communication or selfish exploitation? It’s up to you.

 

Two Voices Do Not Raise a Child - Wednesday, September 12, 2018

When parenting, learn to sing in unison.

 

I have a friend in Ghana whose father’s advice to him on parenting is deeply profound: “Two voices,” he said, “do not raise a child.” That's right. When parents are singing the same song in unison, the message of the song can be heard by the child, understood, and followed. But if they are singing two different songs there is disharmony, discord, and distraction. Look, the Bible is the music. The values, morals, and heart principles found there give you one voice as you raise your child.

September 11: Tragedy & Hope - Tuesday, September 11, 2018

Tragedy and hope—what a strange combination.

Sheri Ladley lost her husband, James, on September 11, 2001. Her two children lost their father. Their family lost their joy. The 9/11 attacks were tragic for all Americans, but for Sheri and her kids, it was deeply tragic. Since then our country has rebuilt some of what it has lost. Sheri’s family has, too. She remarried and had a daughter whose middle name is Hope. This year on 9/11, let’s remember the people we lost and the tragedy that changed everything. And let’s cling to the One who heals.

Get to Know Teachers - Monday, September 10, 2018

Hey, teachers want to know you.

Mostly teachers, want to teach. And if it helps a student, they also want to know about their home life. My friend, stepfamily author, Heather Hetchler says if the other home seems to leave your home out of teacher communications or specifically discourages the stepparent from school involvement, don’t fight them. Reach out directly to the teacher. Schedule your own parent-teacher conference and discuss how they can communicate with you. Support them and they’ll support you.

Grandparent Loyalty - Friday, September 7, 2018

In today’s complex families, grandparents are confused.

 

Okay, grandparent, let’s say, your son is divorced and you help to fill gaps; when the kids are at their mother’s do you still help out? And, if your son marries a woman with children do you sacrifice time with your biological grandkids to support your stepgrandkids? I realize it’s tough. You’ve got a lot to offer but you do have to answer these questions. So sit down with your loved-ones and have a candid conversation. Define what each of you expects of the other and how you will work together.


Lectionary Calendar
Thursday, September 20th, 2018
the Week of Proper 19 / Ordinary 24
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