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Pastoral Resources

Sermon Illustrations Archive

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Fellowship = Fun Times?

Nowhere in the N. T. do any of the Greek words translated “fellowship” imply fun times. Rather, they talk of, for example, “The fellowship of the ministering to the saints” (2 Cor. 8:4) as sacrificial service and financial aid. (See for example, 1 Tim. 6:18). Elsewhere, Paul was thankful for the Philippian believers’ “fellowship in the gospel” (Phil. 1:5), for he knew that “inasmuch as both in my bonds, and in the defense and confirmation of the gospel, ye all are partakers (same word as fellowship) of my grace” (Phil. 1:7). This sort of fellowship may even bring persecution. We are to emulate Christ’s humility and self-sacrificial love (Phil. 2:5-8) through the “fellowship of the Spirit” (Phil. 2:1). In some way known only partially to us, we have the privilege of knowing “the fellowship of His sufferings, being made conformable unto His death” (Phil. 3:10), and even the communion (i.e. fellowship) of the blood...and body of Christ” (1 Cor. 10:16). - J. D. Morris

Source unknown
Fellowship in NT

Fellowship in the N. T. basically means sharing and self-sacrifice with other believers. As N. T. scholar J. R. McRay has noted, “Fellowship in the early church was not based on uniformity of thought and practice, except where limits of immorality or rejection of the confession of Christ were involved.”

Christianity Today, March 18, 1988, p. 3
Fellowship with the Father

A happy Christian met an Irish peddler one day and said to him, "It's a grand thing to be saved." "Aye," said the peddler, "It is. But I think something is equally as good as that." "What can you possibly think is equal to salvation?" "The companionship of the Man who has saved me," was the reply. When we know that, we can rejoice with John and say "Truly our fellowship is with the Father, and with his Son Jesus Christ" (1Jo 1:3).

Anonymous
Fertility

It is estimated 15% of couples in this country are unable to have children because of fertility problems.

USA Today, in Homemade, Jan., 1985
Fervency of Spirit

It is not the arithmetic of our prayers, how many they are;

nor the rhetoric of our prayers, how eloquent they are;

nor the geometry of our prayers, how long they be;

nor the music of our prayers, how sweet our voice may be;

nor the logic of our prayers, now argumentative they may be;

nor the method of our prayers, how orderly they may be—which God cares for.

Fervency of spirit is that which availeth much.

William Law, in J. S. Baxter, Explore the Book, p. 236
Fewer but Better

Once a soldier was reported to Alexander the Great as having shown great cowardice on a particular occasion. When the soldier appeared before Alexander the Great, he asked him his name. On hearing that it was Alexander, he upbraided him with the dishonor that he had brought on such a name and entreated him either to change his name or act differently. It would be better for the cause of Christ to have fewer Christians, but better ones.

Anonymous
Fictitious Army

Perhaps you recall the scene from the movie “Patton.” General Patton was pacing back and forth on the balcony of an English mansion. General Eisenhower had him set up as commander of an entirely fictitious army, complete with fake air traffic. The Germans are fooled and do not rush to the defense of the beaches of Normandy, thinking that the real invasion will be at Calais, headed by Patton.

Of course Patton is extremely upset. He can’t believe that he is being kept out of the most glorious war of the century. He says to a subordinate that he feels God has some great calling for him, some great army to move, but General Bradley, of all people, is in charge of the only army then going anywhere.

Source unknown
Fiddler on the Roof

Tevye, the Jewish dairy farmer in the musical Fiddler on the Roof, lives with his wife and five daughters in czarist Russia. Change is taking place all around him and the new patterns are nowhere more obvious to Tevye than in the relationship between the sexes. First, one of his daughters announces that she and a young tailor have pledged themselves to each other, even though Tevye had already promised her to the village butcher, a widower. Initially Tevye will not hear of his daughter’s plans, but he finally has an argument with himself and decides to give in to the young lovers’ wishes. A second daughter also chooses the man she wants to marry: an idealist revolutionary. Tevye is rather fond of him, and, after another argument with himself, he again concedes to the changing times.

A while later, Tevye’s third daughter wishes to marry. She has fallen in love with a young Gentile. This violates Tevye’s deepest religious convictions: it is unthinkable that one of his daughters would marry outside the faith. Once again, he has an argument with himself. He knows that his daughter is deeply in love, and he does not want her to be unhappy. Still, he cannot deny his convictions. “How can I turn my back on my faith, my people?” he asks himself. “If I try and bend that far, I’ll break!” Tevye pauses and begins a response: “On the other hand...” He pauses again, and then he shouts: “No! There is no other hand!”

Uncommon Decency, Richard J. Mouw, pp.123-124
Fidelity of Spouses

Sensationalistic sex surveys suffered further damage with the release of new research on the fidelity of American spouses. According to a new study by Tom W. Smith of the National Opinion Research Center, roughly 15 percent of married or previously married Americans have committed adultery.

The results largely agree with the 1987 ABC News/Washington Post poll that found 89 percent of spouses faithful. Pop culture gurus Kinsey (37 percent of men), Joyce Brothers (50 percent ofwomen), and Shire Hite (75 percent of women married 5 years) have stoked reports of rampant infidelity.

Family Research Council, Washington Watch, October 29, 1993, p. 2
Fidgety

Many a person gets a reputation for being energetic when in truth, he is merely fidgety. - Jan McKeithen

Swindoll, Growing Strong, p. 185
Fiedler’s Forecasting Rules

1. Forecasting is very difficult, especially if it’s about the future.

2. For this reason: He who lives by the crystal ball soon learn to eat ground glass.

3. Similarly: The moment you forecast you know you’re going to be wrong, you just don’t know when and in which direction.

4. Nevertheless, always be precise in your forecasts because: Economists state their GNP growth projections to the nearest tenth of a percentage point to prove they have a sense of humor.

5. Another basic law: If the facts don’t conform to the theory, they must be disposed of.

6. If you’ve always had doubts about the judgments of forecasters, it’s quite understandable because: An economist is a man who would marry Farrah Fawcett-Majors for her money.

7. By the same reasoning, your suspicions about the narrow range of most forecasts are justified: The herd instinct among forecasters make sheep look like independent thinkers.

8. When presenting a forecast: Give them a number or give them a date, but never both.

Source unknown
Fighting in the Barracks

Christians are often likened to an army: we sing “Onward Christian Soldiers” and read, “Put on the whole armor of God.” Imagine Christ reviewing the troops, who are supposed to be fresh and ready for battle. But some have fairly recent wounds, nicks in their armor, arms in slings, casts, etc.

He asks, “What’s the matter here? Why are they wounded already?”

“Oh, they’ve been fighting in the barracks again.”

Source unknown
Fighting the Forces of Evil

Animal trainers say that the secret of handling lions, tigers, and leopards is to keep them constantly afraid of you. The instant they get over their fear, they will attack. They are treacherous beasts and often gather courage for an attack when the trainer's eyes are turned away from them. One never knows when they will spring at their keeper if they have a chance to do it from behind. Our fight with the forces of evil is like that. Satan is always seeking to attack us from the rear or in ambush. He goes about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour, but he is a great coward when faced with courage. "Resist the devil and he will flee from you" is as true today as it was when the Apostle James first made the declaration (Jam 4:7).

Anonymous
Filling Needs

Helping a person find out what he needs, then helping him find the best way to get it. (I Thessalonians 2:11)

Source unknown
Finagle’s laws of information

1. the information you have is not what you want.

2. the information you want is not what you need.

3. the information you need is not what you can obtain.

4. the information you can obtain costs more than you want to pay.

.
Finagle’s Laws of Information

1. Do not believe in miracles—rely on them.

2. Experiments must be reproducible—they should fail the same way.

3. Always verify your witchcraft.

4. First draw your curves—then plot your readings.

5. Be sure to obtain meteorological information before leaving on vacation.

6. A record of data is useful—it indicates that you’ve been working.

7. Experience is directly proportional to equipment ruined.

8. To study a subject best—understand it thoroughly before you start.

9. In case of doubt, make it sound convincing.

Spokesman Review, by Tom Infield, Knight-Ridder, p. 1
Finagle’s Rules for Scientific Research

1. Do not believe in miracles—rely on them

2. Experiments must be reproducible— they should fail the same way.

3. Always verify your witchcraft.

4. First draw your curves—then plot your readings

5. Be sure to obtain meteorological information before leaving on vacation.

6. A record of data is useful—it indicates that you’ve been working.

7. Experience is directly proportional to equipment ruined.

8. To study a subject best—understand it thoroughly before you start.

9. In case of doubt—make it sound convincing.

Source unknown
Final Decisions

Bits and Pieces, February, 1990, p. 20

While an open mind is priceless, it is priceless only when its owner has the courage to make a final decision which closes the mind for action after the process of viewing all sides of the question has been completed. Failure to make a decision after due consideration of all the facts will quickly brand a man as unfit for a position of responsibility. Not all of your decisions will be correct. None of us is perfect. But if you get into the habit of making decisions, experience will develop your judgment to a point where it is better to be right fifty percent of the time and get something done, than it is to get nothing done because you fear to reach a decision. H.W. Andrews

Source unknown
Final Note

It is said of one of the famous composers that he had a rebellious son who used to come in late at night after his father and mother had gone to bed. And before going to his own room, he would go to his father’s piano and slowly, as well as loudly, play a simple scale, all but the final note. Then leaving the scale uncompleted, he would retire to his room.

Meanwhile the father, hearing the scale minus the final note, would writhe on his bed, his mind unable to relax because the scale was unresolved. Finally, in consternation, he would stumble down the stairs and hit the previously unstruck note. Only then would his mind surrender to sleep once again.

George MacDonald, Restoring Your Spiritual Passion
Financier John Peirpont Morgan

When American financier John Peirpont Morgan died in 1913, his last will and testament revealed his genuine faith in Jesus Christ. He had prefaced his specific bequests with these significant words:

“I commit my soul into the hands of my Savior, in full confidence that having received it and washed it in His most precious blood He will present it faultless before the throne of my heavenly Father. And I entreat my children to maintain and defend, at all hazard, and at any cost of personal sacrifice, the blessed doctrine of the complete atonement for sin through the blood of Jesus Christ, once offered, and through that alone.”

Our Daily Bread, May 11, 1995
Finding a Good Doctor

A severe rash prompted a man from a rural area to come to town to be examined by one of my colleagues. After the usual history-taking followed by a series of tests, the physician advised the patient that he would have to get rid of the dog that was evidently causing the allergic reaction. As the man was preparing to leave the office, my colleague asked him out of curiosity if he planned to sell the animal or give it away. “Neither one,” the patient replied. “I’m going to get me one of them second opinions I been reading about. It’s a lot easier to find a doctor than a good bird dog.”

George Hawkins, M.D. in Medical Economics, in Reader’s Digest, January, 1982
Finding Good Leaders

What kind of person is best able to involve others and himself in good decision making? J. Keith Louden lists seven qualities:

1. The ability to look ahead and see what’s coming—foresight.

2. Steadiness, with patience and persistence and courage.

3. A buoyant spirit that in spite of cares generates confidence.

4. Ingeniousness, the ability to solve problems soundly yet creatively.

5. The ability to help others.

6. Righteousness, the willingness to do the right thing and speak the truth.

7. Personal morality of a quality that commands the respect of others.

Charles W.L. Foreman, “Managing a Decision Into Being,” from the Management Course for Presidents, pp. 3-4.
Finding Men for Christ

In a certain south coast town, a place famous for its exhilarating air and for many of its citizens who have made history, there is held every Sunday afternoon a Bible class for young men. Sixty or more of the finest young fellows in that district meet week by week. It has been the birthplace of many splendid young Christians. Some of them have entered the Civil Service and today hold important positions at Whitehall, where I have had the joy of meeting them.

Coming one day along one of the corridors in the colonial office, I met a friend who said, “I’m very glad to see you today, because I promised that the next time you came this way I would ask you to come along with me and meet a man who wants to see you. He has another friend in the home office who also wants to meet you. Have you the time to do so?”

I assented and was led to the room indicated. Here was a man holding a responsible position who, upon being introduced, said, “I’m glad to meet you, sir, because I have an idea that you must be the gentleman of whom a very dear friend of mine often spoke. May I ask if you were acquainted with Dr. ______?”

“Yes indeed, I know him very well.”

“Then I guess you are the one of whom he spoke. I owe everything in life after my own parents to Dr. ______. He was a wonderful factor in the shaping of my career and that of many others. How did you come to know him, sir, if I may so question? And do you know his gifted family?”

Of course I could not tell him under what circumstances I had first met the doctor, the beloved physician who had sat in the leader’s chair of that Bible class Sunday by Sunday teaching youths the Way of Life, nor that it was he who had helped me out of the river that day when I had my involuntary mud bath.

altered from Finding Men for Christ by George Dempster, (London: Hodder & Stroughton, 1935). Quoted in Prodigals and Those Who Love Them, Ruth Bell Graham, 1991, Focus on the Family Publishing, pp. 85-94
Finding Right Stamp

A woman came into the post office where I work and asked to see a selection of 15-cent stamps. She wanted to choose a stamp design and theme appropriate for the wedding invitations she was mailing. After careful consideration, she happily announced she’d found exactly the right one: the John Paul Jones commemorative stamp that bears his rallying cry, “I have not yet begun to fight.”

Contributed by Thomas T. Brayton, Reader’s Digest, March 1980
Finding the Blessings with a Thankful Heart

If one should give me a dish of sand, and tell me there were particles of iron in it, I might look for them with my clumsy fingers, and be unable to detect them; but let me take a magnet, and sweep through it, and it would draw to itself the most invisible particles. The unthankful heart, like my finger in the sand, discovers no mercies; but let the thankful heart sweep through the day, and as the magnet finds the iron, so it will find some heavenly blessings.

Anonymous
Fingerprint on a Bottle

AP Oakland, CA — A fingerprint left on a bottle eight years ago led to the arrests of two women who admitted tying an 84-year-old woman to her bed, beating her and setting a fire that killed her, police said.

Denitra Cunmoore, 21, and Dethra Edwards, 23, both of Oakland, confessed to the crime, police said Friday.

The women told police they were 12 and 14 years old, respectively, when they tied Virginia Hogan to her bed, beat her and set fire to the room in the woman's San Francisco apartment to hide the crime, police said.

The attack occurred January 19, 1984, and Hogan died of smoke inhalation six days later.

The women are being held without bail in San Francisco on charges of murder, burglary and arson. Because they were minors when the crimes occurred, the case will be handled in Juvenile Court.

Dunmoore was arrested Tuesday after Wendy Chong, a San Francisco police fingerprint technician, matched Dunmoore's fingerprints to one taken off a wine bottle found on Hogan's scorched bed. The unidentified print lay in a file for eight years until this month, when Chong ran it through a computer fingerprint identification system that scans the print files of other police departments. She found a match in Oakland, where Dunmoore had been arrested on a petty theft charge.

Edwards was arrested Thursday on a prostitution warrant. Her mother was the dead woman's housekeeper.

Spokesman Review, 1992
Fingertips Grow Back

Compared with salamanders and starfish, mammals have a dismally limited ability to replace lost parts. But now reports of children growing back finger tips and spleens are changing that.

In 1974, Cynthia Illingworth, an English physician specializing in emergency medicine, discovered that when children accidentally sever the finger tip (down to the first joint), the best treatment is no treatment. Cleaned and covered with a bandage, the finger tip, including the nail, grows back. In 11 or 12 weeks the new finger tip usually looks as if nothing had happened to it.

There seem to be three requirements for regrowth: the patient must be under 12 years old, the cut must be above the crease of the first joint, and surgeons must keep hands off the injury. Any operation performed on the finger destroys its ability to grow back.

The last condition is the hardest to accept, admits Dr. Michael Bleicher, a pediatric surgeon at Mt. Sinai Hospital in

New York City. Reader’s Digest, March, 1980
Finish It

The life of a Christian can be described in one of four ways: as a journey, as a battle, as a pilgrimage, and as a race Select your own metaphor, but the necessity to finish is always the same For if life is a journey, it must be completed If life is a battle, it must be finished If life is a pilgrimage, it must be concluded And if it is a race, it must be won.

unknown
Finished Alone

When all his teammates fouled out of the game, high school basketball player Pat McGee finished the game for his school alone—and won! This happened in 1937 at St. Peter’s High School.

Bore No More, M. & A. Nappa, Group Publications
Finished the Book, Lost the Boy

A young man was to be sentenced to the penitentiary. The judge had known him from childhood, for he was well acquainted with his father—a famous legal scholar and the author of an exhaustive study entitled, “The Law of Trusts. “Do you remember your father?” asked the magistrate. “I remember him well, your honor,” came the reply. Then trying to probe the offender’s conscience, the judge said, “As you are about to be sentenced and as you think of your wonderful dad, what do you remember most clearly about him?”

There was a pause. Then the judge received an answer he had not expected. “I remember when I went to him for advice. He looked up at me from the book he was writing and said, ‘Run along, boy; I’m busy!’ When I went to him for companionship, he turned me away, saying “Run along, son; this book must be finished!’ Your honor, you remember him as a great lawyer. I remember him as a lost friend.”

The magistrate muttered to himself, “Alas! Finished the book, but lost the boy!”

Homemade, February, 1989
Finished Work

Did Christ finish His work? How dangerous it is to join anything of our own to the righteousness of Christ, in pursuit of justification before God! Jesus Christ will never endure this; it reflects upon His work dishonorably. He will be all, or none, in our justification. If He has finished the work, what need is there of our additions? And if not, to what purpose are they?

Can we finish that which Christ Himself could not complete? Did He finish the work, and will He ever divide the glory and praise of it with us? No, no; Christ is no half-Savior. It is a hard thing to bring proud hearts to rest upon Christ for righteousness. God humbles the proud by calling sinners wholly from their own righteousness to Christ for their justification. - John Flavel

Source unknown
Finite Mind

Can a man born blind conceive in his mind all of the varieties and properties of color merely by hearing of them? How foolish it would be for a blind man to conclude that because he cannot see colors they do not exist. He simply lacks the capacity for seeing them. It would be equally foolish for us to reject the existence, the reality, of that which is mysterious to us, but which has been revealed to us by God. As Paul says in 1Co_2:10-11, "But God hath revealed them [the elements of mystery in the gospel] unto us by his Spirit: for the Spirit searcheth all things, yea, the deep things of God. For what man knoweth the things of man, save the spirit of man which is in him? Even so the things of God knoweth no man, but the Spirit of God."

Anonymous
Fire

Since the Pentecostal congregation in Leduc, Canada, had just had a new church built, they sold their old building. It was to be used as a new Evangelical Community Church in Beaumont, some ten miles away. But as the building was being moved on a mammoth trailer to its new location, it came in contact with a 138,000-volt power line, which started a fire on the roof of the building. The driver phoned the Beaumont fire department from a farmhouse. “There’s a large building on fire about a mile east of the town on Highway 625,” he said .”I’m sorry,” replied the dispatcher, “but that’s outside our jurisdiction.” “Well, get your equipment ready,” the driver replied. “It’ll be there in five minutes!”

Contributed by John Hilliard
Fire Extinguisher

A U.S. Lutheran bishop tells of visiting a parish church in California and finding a stirring red and orange banner on the wall. “Come Holy Spirit. Hallelujah!” it declared in words printed under a picture of a fire burning. The bishop was also interested in the sign directly underneath the banner which said: “Fire extinguisher.” So much for that parish’s commitment to spiritual renewal.

One World, May, 1982, WCC
Fire Truck

While a $100,000 fire truck stood by unused because nobody knew how it operated, fire destroyed a power plant in the tiny village of Akiachak, Alaska. Damage to the plant was estimated at $250,000.

Sermon Resources, November 4, 1983
First and Last

I am the wife of a Baptist minister and have seen many a marriage license. On one, after the blank for number of marriages, the groom had answered: “First.” The bride had entered the word: “Last.”

Reader’s Digest
First Auto Fatality

While the family of Harry Bliss mourned, they surely had no idea of the tide of grieving his death would unleash. He died in 1899 in New York City, the first recorded automobile fatality. Many million times since the tragedy, his death has been reenacted, and not even a single one of us has escaped the pain. If Jesus had come along 1900 years later and traveled in a Ford or Toyota instead of on foot or by donkey, no doubt he’d have been concerned about responsible driving habits.

Rev David Peterson, First Presbyterian Church, Spokane, WA
First Balloon

On June 4, 1783 at the market square of a French village of Annonay, not far from Paris, a smoky bonfire on a raised platform was fed by wet straw and old wool rages. Tethered above, straining its lines, was a huge taffeta bag 33 feet in diameter. In the presence of “a respectable assembly and a great many other people,” and accompanied by great cheering, the balloon was cut from its moorings and set free to rise majestically into the noon sky. Six thousand feet into the air it went—the first public ascent of a balloon, the first step in the history of human flight. It came to earth several miles away in a field, where it was promptly attacked by pitchfork-waving peasants and torn to pieces as an instrument of evil!

Today in the Word, July 15, 1993
First Be Reconciled to Your Brother

There were two brothers who had a quarrel and thereafter refused to speak to each other. The mother did all she could to reconcile them but to no avail. It greatly distressed her and robbed her of peace and happiness. One of the brothers saw how badly his mother felt. Hoping to please her, he brought her a fine gift. She refused it. "I don't want any gift," she said, "until you have become reconciled to your brother."

Anonymous
First Big Fight

We were visiting friends when they received a telephone call from their recently married daughter. After several tense minutes on the phone, the mother told the father to pick up the extension. The newlyweds had had their first big fight.

In a few moments, the father rejoined us and tersely explained, “Said she wanted to come home.”

“What did you tell her?” I asked.

“Told her she was home.”

Larry Cunningham (Billings, Montana), quoted in Reader’s Digest
First Century Christianity

Gibbon concluded that Christianity in the first century flourished for 5 reasons: (1) their intolerant religious zeal, (2) doctrine of immortality of the soul, (3) miraculous power, (4) pure morals, (5) unity and discipline. Justin referred to many who have, “changed their violent and tyrannical disposition, being overcome either by the constancy which they have witnessed in the lives of their Christian neighbors, or by the extraordinary forbearance they have observed in their Christian fellow travelers when defrauded, and by the honesty of those believers with whom they have transacted business.”

Source unknown
First Consideration

An architect is a master builder. He conceives of a building in its totality. However, he realizes that his first consideration must be the ground on which it is to stand; it must have a solid foundation. Of course, no one can live in a house that consists only of its foundation. A superstructure is needed. But without a proper foundation the superstructure will not stand.

Anonymous
First Duty

Peter T. Forsythe was right when he said, “The first duty of every soul is to find not its freedom but its Master”.

The Integrity Crisis by Warren W. Wiersbe, Thomas Nelson Publishers, 1991, p. 22
First Hot Balloon

On June 4, 1783 at the market square of a French village of Annonay, not far from Paris, a smoky bonfire on a raised platform was fed by wet straw and old wool rags. Tethered above, straining its lines, was a huge taffeta bag 33 feet in diameter. In the presence of “a respectable assembly and a great many other people,” and accompanied by great cheering, the balloon was cut from its moorings and set free to rise majestically into the noon sky. Six thousand feet into the air it went—the first public ascent of a balloon, the first step in the history of human flight. It came to earth several miles away in a field, where it was promptly attacked by pitchfork-waving peasants and torn to pieces as an instrument of evil!

Today in the Word, July 15, 1993
First Major Victory of the War

During the Revolutionary War, a loyalist spy appeared at the headquarters of Hessian commander Colonel Johann Rall, carrying an urgent message. General George Washington and his Continental army had secretly crossed the Delaware River that morning and were advancing on Trenton, New Jersey where the Hessians were encamped. The spy was denied an audience with the commander and instead wrote his message on a piece of paper. A porter took the note to the Hessian colonel, but because Rall was involved in a poker game he stuffed the unread note into his pocket. When the guards at the Hessian camp began firing their muskets in a futile attempt to stop Washington’s army, Rall was still playing cards. Without time to organize, the Hessian army was captured. The battle occurred the day after Christmas, 1776, giving the colonists a late present—their first major victory of the war.

Today in the Word, MBA, October, 1991, p. 21
First Moon Walk

It started like so many evenings. Mom and Dad at home and Jimmy playing after dinner. Mom and Dad were absorbed with jobs and did not notice the time. It was a full moon and some of the light seeped through the windows. Then Mom glanced at the clock. “Jimmy, it’s time to go to bed. Go up now and I’ll come and settle you later.” Unlike usual, Jimmy went straight upstairs to his room. An hour or so later his mother came up to check if all was well, and to her astonishment found that her son was staring quietly out of his window at the moonlit scenery. “What are you doing, Jimmy?”

“I’m looking at the moon, Mommy.”

“Well, it’s time to go to bed now.”

As one reluctant boy settled down, he said, “Mommy, you know one day I’m going to walk on the moon.”

Who could have known that the boy in whom the dream was planted that night would survive a near fatal motorbike crash which broke almost every bone in his body, and would bring to fruition this dream 32 years later when James Irwin stepped on the moon’s surface, just one of the 12 representatives of the human race to have done so?

Source unknown
First National Thanksgiving Proclamation

Whereas, it is the duty of all nations to acknowledge the providence of Almighty God, to obey His will, to be grateful for His benefits, and humbly to implore His protection and favor; Whereas, both the houses of Congress have, by their joint committee, requested me “to recommend to the people of the United States a day of public thanksgiving and prayer, to be observed by acknowledging with grateful hearts the many and signal favors of Almighty God, especially by affording them an opportunity peaceably to establish a form of government for their safety and happiness!” Now therefore, I do recommend next, to be devoted by the people of the states to the service of that great and glorious being, who is the beneficent Author of all the good that was, that is, or that will be, that we may then all unite in rendering unto Him our sincere and humble thanks for His kind care and protection of the people of this country.

George Washington, 1779
First Recorded Fatality

While the family of Harry Bliss mourned, they surely had no idea of the tide of grieving his death would unleash. He died in 1899 in New York City, the first recorded automobile fatality. Many million times since the tragedy, his death has been reenacted, and not even a single one of us has escaped the pain. If Jesus had come along 1900 years later and traveled in a Ford or Toyota instead of on foot or by donkey, no doubt he’d have been concerned about responsible driving habits.

Rev David Peterson, 1st Presbyterian Church, Spokane, WA
First Sermon

The young seminarian was excited about preaching his first sermon in his home church. After three years in seminary, he felt adequately prepared, and when he was introduced to the congregation, he walked boldly to the pulpit, his head high, radiating self-confidence.

But he stumbled reading the Scriptures and then lost his train of thought halfway through the message. He began to panic, so he did the safest thing: He quickly ended the message, prayed, and walked dejectedly from the pulpit, his head down, his self-assurance gone.

Later, one of the godly elders whispered to the embarrassed young man, “If you had gone up to the pulpit the way you came down, you might have come down the way you went up.” The elder was right. God still resists the proud but gives grace to the humble.

Prokope, Vol. No. 3, July-September, 1997
First Step Toward New Life

Quite a few years ago, Governor Neff of the State of Texas received an invitation to speak at one of the penitentiaries in that state. He spoke to the assembled prisoners, and afterward said that he would be around for a while to listen to anything any of the convicts might wish to tell him. He would take as much time as they wanted, and anything they would tell him would be kept in confidence.

The convicts began to come, one at a time. One after another told him a story of how they had been unjustly sentenced, were innocent, and wished to get out. Finally one man came through who said to him, "Governor Neff, I do not want to take much of your time. I only want to say that I really did what they convicted me of. But I have been here a number of years. I believe I have paid my debt to society, and that, if I were to be released, I would be able to live an upright life and show myself worthy of your mercy."

This was the man whom Governor Neff pardoned.

Anonymous
First Thanksgiving

The first American Thanksgiving didn’t occur in 1621 when a group of Pilgrims shared a feast with a group of friendly Indians. The first recorded thanksgiving took place in Virginia more than 11 years earlier, and it wasn’t a feast. The winter of 1610 at Jamestown had reduced a group of 409 settlers to 60. The survivors prayed for help, without knowing when or how it might come. When help arrived, in the form of a ship filled with food and supplies from England, a prayer meeting was held to give thanks to God.

Today in the Word, July, 1990, p. 22
First to Stop Applauding

We Americans do not adequately appreciate the political process in our nation. During the campaign, I often recounted a nightmarish 1938 incident from Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn’s The Gulag Archipelago, by way of contrast:

A district party conference was under way in Moscow Province. It was presided over by a new secretary of the District Party Committee, replacing one recently arrested. At the conclusion of the conference, a tribute to Comrade Stalin was called for. Of course, everyone stood up (just as everyone had leaped to his feet during the conference with every mention of his name). The hall echoed with “stormy applause, raising to an ovation.” For three minutes, four minutes, five minutes, the “stormy applause, rising to an ovation,” continued. But palms were getting sore and raised arms were already aching. And the older people were panting from exhaustion. It was becoming insufferably silly even to those who adored Stalin.

However, who would dare to be the first to stop? The secretary of the District Party could have done it. He was standing on the platform, and it was he who had just called for the ovation. But he was a newcomer. He had taken the place of a man who’d been arrested. He was afraid! After all, NKVD men were standing in the hall applauding and watching to see who would quit first!

And in the obscure, small hall, unknown to the leader, the applause went on—six, seven, eight minutes! They were done for! Their goose was cooked! They couldn’t stop now till they collapsed with heart attacks! At the rear of the hall, which was crowded, they could of course cheat a bit, clap less frequently, less vigorously, not so eagerly—but up there with the presidium where everyone could see them?

The director of the local paper factor, an independent and strong-minded man, stood with the presidium. Aware of all the falsity and all the impossibility of the situation, he still kept on applauding! Nine minutes! Ten! In anguish he watched the secretary of the District Party Committee, but the latter dared not stop. Insanity! To the last man! With make-believe enthusiasm on their faces, looking at each other with faint hope, the district leaders were just going to go on and on applauding till they fell where they stood, till they were carried out of the hall on stretchers! And even then those who were left would not falter.

Then, after eleven minutes, the director of the paper factory assumed a businesslike expression and sat down in his seat. And, oh, a miracle took place! Where had the universal, uninhibited, indescribable enthusiasm gone? To a man, everyone else stopped dead and sat down. They had been saved! The squirrel had been smart enough to jump off his revolving wheel.

That, however, was how they discovered who the independent people were. And that was how they went about eliminating them. That same night the factory director was arrested. They easily pasted ten years on him on the pretext of something quite different. But after he had signed Form 206, the final document of the interrogation, his interrogator reminded him: “Don’t ever be the first to stop applauding!”

Winning the New Civil War, Robert P. Dugan, Jr., pp. 25-27
First Woman Doctor in America

Elizabeth Blackwell, the first woman doctor in America, started her practice in New York in 1851. Not only was she unable to find patients—no one would even rent her a room once she mentioned that she was a doctor. After weeks of trudging the streets, she finally rented rooms from a landlady who asked no questions about what Elizabeth planned to do with them.

Quaker women, who had always been receptive to the goal of equal rights, became Elizabeth’s first patients. But no hospital would allow her on its staff. Finally, with financial help from her Quaker fiends, Elizabeth opened her own clinic in one of new York’s worst slums. the clinic opened in March, 1853. Elizabeth hung a sign out announcing that all patients would be treated free. Yet, for the first few weeks, no one showed up. Then one day a woman in such agony that she didn’t care who treated her, staggered up the steps and collapsed in Elizabeth’s arms.

When the woman was treated and recovered, she told all her friends about the wonderful woman doctor in downtown New York. The dispensary was soon doing well. It eventually expanded, moved, and is now a branch of the New York Infirmary on East Fifteenth Street.

Bits & Pieces, August 22, 1991
First, Look in the Mirror

A man prayed complainingly to Almighty God about a neighbor, saying, "O Lord, take away this wicked person." And God said, "Which?"

Anonymous
Fishing and Wishing

While some are wishing for the church to somehow grow, others are preparing themselves to be instruments of God in church growth as "fishers of men" (Mar 1:17).

Anonymous
Fishing Boat

A fishing boat sank in rough, cold waters off Vancouver Island, leaving two men in a life raft tied to the sinking boat by a nylon rope. Neither had a knife to cut the rope, and had the ship sunk, it would have pulled the boat and the men down with it. For an hour, the two men alternated chewing the rope, Minutes before the ship sank, the men finally chewed through the rope and survived.

The State Journal-Register of Springfield, Ill, quoted in Parade, December 31, 1995, p. 10
Fishing for Men

In the business of fishing for men, it is not one's skill or fine equipment that produces results; it is the power of the Holy Spirit. A fisherman who had all the equipment that the best sporting goods store could sell him was having no success. Seeing a country lad with a stick and a bent pin for a hook, he smiled condescendingly, then did a double take. On the bank beside the boy lay a fine string of trout. "How is it that I can't catch any?" the man inquired. "Because you don't keep yourself out of sight," the boy replied. That's the secret of fishing for men as well as trout. Preach Christ and Him crucified, and send the people away talking about Him instead of praising you.

Anonymous
Fitting Rebuke

Before we are too harsh in judging those scribes and Pharisees of Jesus' day, let's stop and look at ourselves. All too many Christians today go to church to find fault, to gossip, and to criticize. Warren Wiersbe, in his book Angry People, wrote,

An incident in the life of Joseph Parker, the great British preacher, illustrates this tragic truth. He was preaching at the City Temple in London. After the service one of the listeners came up to him and said, 'Dr. Parker, you made a grammatical error in your sermon.' He then proceeded to point out the error to the pastor. Joseph Parker looked at the man and said, 'And what else did you get out of the message?' What a fitting rebuke!"

Source Unknown
Five Bottles of Wine

A lady in the north of England said that every time she got down before God to pray, five bottles of wine came up before her mind. She had taken them wrongfully one time when she was a housekeeper, and had not been able to pray since. She was advised to make restitution.

“But the person is dead,” she said.

“Are not some of the heirs living?”

“Yes, a son.”

“Then go to that son and pay him back.”

“Well,” she said, “I want to see the face of God, but I could not think of doing a thing like that. My reputation is at stake.”

She went away, and came back the next day to ask if it would not do just as well to put that money in the treasury of the Lord.

“No,” she was told, “God doesn’t want any stolen money. The only thing is to make restitution.”

She carried that burden for several days, but finally went into the country, saw that son, made a full confession and offered him a five-pound note. He said he didn’t want the money, but she finally persuaded him to take it, and came back with a joy and peace that made her face radiant. She became a magnificent worker for souls, and led many into the light.

My dear friends, get these stumbling stones out of the way. God does not want a man to shout “Hallelujah” who doesn’t pay his debts. Many of our prayer meetings are killed by men trying to pray who cannot pray because their lives are not right. Sin builds up a great wall between us and God. A man may stand high in the community and may be a member of some church “in good standing,” but the question is, how does he stand in the sight of God? If there is anything wrong in you life, make it right.

Moody’s Anecdotes, pp. 49-50
Five Characteristics of a Leader

John W. Gardner, former Secretary of the U.S. Department of Health, Education, and Welfare, who is now directing a leadership study project in Washington, D.C., has pinpointed five characteristics that set “leader” managers apart from run-of-the-mill managers:

1. They are long-term thinkers who see beyond the day’s crisis and the quarterly report.

2. Their interest in the company does not stop with the unit they are heading. They want to know how all of the company’s departments affect one another, and they are constantly reaching beyond their specific area of influence.

3. They put heavy emphasis on vision, values, and motivation.

4. They have strong people skills.

5. They don’t accept the status quo.

Success Magazine
Five Fingers Make a United Fist

In a Peanuts cartoon Lucy demanded that Linus change TV channels, threatening him with her fist if he didn’t. “What makes you think you can walk right in here and take over?” asks Linus. “These five fingers,” says Lucy. “Individually they’re nothing but when I curl them together like this into a single unit, they form a weapon that is terrible to behold.” “Which channel do you want?” asks Linus. Turning away, he looks at his fingers and says, “Why can’t you guys get organized like that?”

Source unknown
Five Kinds of Salvation

A great salvation Heb. 2:3

A present salvation 2 Cor. 6:2

A common salvation Jude 3

A known salvation Luke 1:77

An eternal salvation Heb. 5:9

From the Book of 750 Bible and Gospel Studies, 1909, George W. Noble, Chicago
Five Legs

Once, when a stubborn disputer seemed unconvinced, Lincoln said, “Well, let’s see how many legs has a cow?” “Four, of course,” came the reply disgustedly. “That’s right,” agreed Lincoln. “Now suppose you call the cow’s tail a leg; how many legs would the cow have?” “Why, five, of course,” was the confident reply. “Now, that’s where you’re wrong,” said Lincoln. “Calling a cow’s tail a leg doesn’t make it a leg.”

Bits and Pieces, July, 1991
Five Loaves and Two Fishes

God uses

what you have

to fill a need which

you never could have filled.

God uses

where you are

to take you where

you never could have gone.

God uses

what you can do

to accomplish what

you never could have done.

God uses

who you are

to let you become who

you never could have been.

Philip Clarke Brewer

Holy Sweat, Tim Hansel, 1987, Word Books Publisher, p. 25
Five Million Dollars
One thing I know--I cannot speak for others, but can speak for myself; I cannot read other minds and other hearts; I cannot read the Bible and lay hold for others; but I can read for myself, and take God at his word. The great trouble is that people take everything in general, and do not take it to themselves. Suppose a man should say to me, "Moody, there was a man in Europe who died last week, and left five million dollars to a certain individual." "Well," I say, "I don't doubt that; it's rather a common thing to happen," and I don't think anything more about it. But suppose he says, "But he left the money to you." Then I pay attention; I say, "To me?" "Yes, he left it to you." I become suddenly interested. I want to know all about it. So we are apt to think Christ died for sinners; He died for everybody, and for nobody in particular. But when the truth comes to me that eternal life is mine, and all the glories of Heaven are mine, I begin to be interested. I say, "Where is the chapter and verse where it says I can be saved?" If I put myself among sinners, I take the place of the sinner, then it is that salvation is mine and I am sure of it for time and eternity.
Moody's Anecdotes and Illustrations
Five Questions that Reveal Your Spiritual Health

1. Whom are you trying to please?

2. What insecurities are you pampering?

3. With whom or what are you competing?

4. What rewards are you seeking?

5. What shame are you covering?

Based on the book The Life God Blesses by Gordon McDonald, Oliver Nelson, 1994, quoted in Men’s Life, Spring 1998
Five Senses

Our five senses give us some astonishing capabilities. We can see a candle’s flame 30 miles away on a dark, clear night, and smell a single drop of perfume diffused in a three-room apartment. We can taste . 04 ounce of table salt in 530 quarts of water. Our sense of touch can detect a pressure that depresses the skin . 00004 inch on the face or fingertips. And we can tell where a sound is coming from even when it arrives at one ear just . 0003 second before its arrival at the other ear.

Today in the Word, November, 1996, p. 28
Five Smooth Stones

In 1 Samuel 17 we have the thrilling story of David, the modest shepherd boy who slew Goliath, the arrogant giant of Gath. The drama of that event so occupies our attention that the spiritual lessons contained in the more minute details may escape our notice. Today, therefore, I’d like to consider the importance of the expression “five smooth stones. “Why more than one stone? Wasn’t David a man of faith? Did he doubt that God would give him perfect timing and aim as he used his trusty sling to take on the enemy of the Lord? Certainly he needed only a single small pebble to accomplish his mission. But wait, there were at least four other giants (see 2 Sam. 21:15-22). They might rally to Goliath’s defense if something went wrong. Perhaps David had prepared for them. Trusting the Lord implicitly, he chose one stone for the champion of the Philistines and just enough to be ready for any others if they attacked.

Why did he choose “smooth stones”? Well, you can shoot much more accurately with the proper ammunition. He had faith, but he also used sanctified common sense. He didn’t foolishly say, “The Lord is going to do it anyway, so I’ll just pick up any old jagged rocks.” No, he recognized human responsibility as well as Divine providence and selected shiny, round stones that would speed straight to the mark.

Our Daily Bread
Five Stages of a Project

Stage 1: Excitement, euphoria

Stage 2: Disenchantment

Stage 3: Search for the guilty

Stage 4: Punishment of the innocent

Stage 5: Distinction for the uninvolved

MSC Health Action News, April, 1993
Five Ways to Get Rid of Your Pastor

Sit up front, smile and say "amen" every time he says something good. He will preach himself to death.

Pat him on the back and tell him what good work he is doing in the church and community. He will work himself to death.

Increase your offering in the church. Then he will suffer from shock.

Tell him you have decided to join the visitation group and win souls for the Lord. He will probably suffer a heart attack.

Get the whole church to band together and pray for him. He will get so efficient that some other church will hear about him and give him a call. That will take him off your hands.

Anonymous
Five Workstyle Categories

Description

Issue

Application

“obedient to their own masters”

Authority

Do you follow instructions?

Do you comply with industry standards?

Do you pay your fair share of taxes?

“well pleasing in all things”

Excellence

Do you.take pride in your work?

Do you use the right tools for the job, in the right way?

Do you work just as hard even when the boss isn’t around?

“not answering back

Conflict

Do you seek to resolve conflicts in a healthy way?

Do you respond with honesty and courtesy?

Do you promote constructive cooperation instead of destructive competition?

“not pilfering”

Honesty & Integrity

Do you. keep an honest accounting of your hours?

Do you pay for personal expenses rather than charge them?

Do you to company expense accounts?

Do you avoid making personal long-distance calls on the company’s phone?

“showing all good fidelity”

Loyalty & Dependability

Do you. keep your word?

Do you do what it takes to meet deadlines?

Do you honor what your company stands for?

The Word in Life Study Bible, New Testament Edition, (Thomas Nelson Publishers, Nashville; 1993), p. 759
Flagstaff Flooding

One night at dinner a man, who had spent many summers in Maine, fascinated his companions by telling of his experiences in a little town named Flagstaff. The town was to be flooded, as part of a large lake for which a dam was being built. In the months before it was to be flooded, all improvements and repairs in the whole town were stopped. What was the use of painting a house if it were to be covered with water in six months? Why repair anything when the whole village was to be wiped out? So, week by week, the whole town became more and more bedraggled, more gone to seed, more woebegone. Then he added by way of explanation:

“Where there is no faith in the future, there is no power in the present.”

Halford E. Luccock, Unfinished Business.
Flat Earth

Forget what you learned in elementary school—the earth is flat as a pancake. All that stuff about the earth being round and the sun being the center of the universe is a big joke, insists C. K.

Johnson, president of the International Flat Earth Research Society, a group that takes great pleasure in poking fun at “globites.” The organization, backed by 1400 members from around the world…or rather, from across the plane, gets scads of mail from dedicated teachers and students who blast it as a group of kooks and charlatans. Maybe it is, but Johnson claims the society’s largest single group of members is doctors. Then come lawyers and other professional people, like engineers and architects. The Flat Earthers dismiss modern science as a club for sun worshippers and write off the American and Russian space programs as multi-billion dollar hoaxes. “The moon walk was done in a Hollywood set. All faked,” says Johnson, a former airplane mechanic. Furthermore, he and his followers insist the sun is not stationary and does not set. They figure it to be a gigantic spotlight, 32 miles across, that moves in an ellipse just 3000 miles above the center of the earth. The other stars are just a lot of tiny holes poked in a huge canopy covering this planet. Do Flat Earthers believe in anything? “We believe the Earth is flat. Everything else is pure conjecture,” Johnson replies.

Campus Life, Dec, 1979, p. 15
Flat Tire

One morning went out to start car to go to church. Flat tire. Lucky I had a spare. Changed tire quickly and on way. Didn’t think to drop spare off to be fixed. “I’ll get around to it.” Within five days went out to car to go to school. Another flat. Only this time no spare! Had to roll it to nearest station and wait while it was fixed. When something breaks, fix it now. Don’t wait until you need it and then don’t have it!

J.U., August, 1982
Flat Tires

Most flat tires occur Monday mornings and Friday afternoons, statistics show. Why these particular times?

Real flat tires? Or unverified reports of flat tires? All I know is Monday mornings are when most people don’t want to go in, and Friday afternoons are when most people don’t want to go back.

L. M Boyd

Source unknown
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