Verse-by-Verse Bible Commentary
Proverbs 19:13

Clarke's Commentary

Verse Proverbs 19:13. The contentions of a wife are a continual dropping. — The man who has got such a wife is like a tenant who has got a cottage with a bad roof, through every part of which the rain either drops or pours. He can neither sit, stand, work, nor sleep, without being exposed to these droppings. God help the man who is in such a case, with house or wife!

Bridgeway Bible Commentary

Lessons heeded and ignored (19:1-29)

Moral uprightness is more important than wealth, and wise action is more important than hasty action. People are foolish when they blame God for the trouble they bring upon themselves through their own mistakes (19:1-3).
Often the reason the rich have many friends is that these ‘friends’ hope to gain personally from their wealth or influence (4-6). The poor lose their friends, though in a sense they are rich if they maintain their understanding (7-8). People should behave in a way that befits their social status, though to misrepresent the truth is always wrong (9-10). If they are mature, they will not allow themselves to be easily offended and will know how to control their temper (11-12).
Stupidity, quarrelling, laziness and a lack of parental discipline will destroy family happiness. Wise, sympathetic, yet firm, dealings by the parents will build it (13-18). Bad tempered people never seem to learn, and as a result bring trouble upon themselves repeatedly (19-20).
God directs affairs in people’s lives, and desires from them reverent loyalty. He blesses the obedient, but not the lazy (21-24). Physical punishment is often the only method of correction that fools understand, but sensible people listen to rebukes and learn from them (25-29).

Coffman's Commentaries on the Bible

“A foolish son is the calamity of his father; And the contentions of a wife are a continual dropping.”

“A foolish son is his father’s ruin, and a quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping.”The New International Version of the Bible. “A foolish son can bring a flood of troubles to his father; and a nagging wife is like water that won’t stop dripping.”The Easy-to-Read Version of the Bible (Fort Worth, Texas: World Bible Translation Center, 1992).

Barnes' Notes on the Whole Bible

Calamity - The Hebrew word is plural (as in Psalms 57:1; Psalms 91:3), and seems to express the multiplied and manifold sorrow caused by the foolish son.

Continual dropping - The irritating, unceasing, sound of the fall, drop after drop, of water through the chinks in the roof.

Smith's Bible Commentary

Chapter 19

Better is the poor that walks in his integrity [or in honesty], than he that is perverse in his lips, and is a fool. Also, that the soul be without knowledge, it is not good; and he that hasteth with his feet sinneth. The foolishness of man perverteth his way: and his heart fretteth against the LORD. Wealth maketh many friends; but the poor is even separated from his neighbor ( Proverbs 19:1-4 ).

If you're rich, you have a lot of people coming around. But you really don't know. It would be hard to be rich and have all of the people hanging around, because you don't know if they're really your friends or not. What will happen in adversity? So you have all of this crazy problem of accepting people because I don't know, "What you really want? You know. Because I'm rich you're coming around. Do you really love me?" And so they have a hard time.

A false witness shall not be unpunished, and he that speaks lies shall not escape. Many will entreat the favor of the prince: and every man is a friend to him who gives gifts. All of the brethren of the poor do hate him: how much more do his friends go far from him? he pursues them with words, and yet they are wanting to him ( Proverbs 19:5-7 ).

The poor man.

He that gets wisdom loves his own soul: he that keeps understanding shall find good. A false witness shall not be unpunished ( Proverbs 19:8-9 ),

We had that one just a little bit ago in verse Proverbs 19:5 . But then the latter part is just a little different.

he that speaketh lies shall perish ( Proverbs 19:9 ).

Verse Proverbs 19:5 says, "Shall not escape." Very similar, though, proverbs.

Delight is not seemly for a fool; much less for a servant to have rule over princes ( Proverbs 19:10 ).

Oh man, the worst thing in the world is to give a little power to some people. They don't know how to handle it.

The discretion of a man deferreth his anger; and it is his glory to pass over a transgression ( Proverbs 19:11 ).

Much better just to say, "Oh, let it go." Just to pass over the transgressions.

The king's wrath is as a roaring of a lion; but his favor is as the dew on the grass. A foolish son is the calamity of his father: and the contentions of a wife are a continual dropping ( Proverbs 19:12-13 ).

That's like the Chinese torture trick, you know. Or you ever have a leaky faucet and you're trying to sleep at night and hear the ploop, ploop, ploop.

House and riches are the inheritance of fathers: and a prudent wife is from the LORD ( Proverbs 19:14 ).

Oh, isn't that neat? "He that finds a wife finds a good thing." A prudent wife is from the Lord. God is good to us.

Slothfulness [the laziness again] casteth into a deep sleep; and an idle soul shall suffer hunger. He that keeps the commandment keeps his own soul; but he that despises his ways shall die. Then he that has pity upon the poor is lending to the LORD; and that which he hath given will he pay him again ( Proverbs 19:15-17 ).

Now here's an interesting thing. As I told you, God takes up the cause of the poor. And if you have pity on the poor and give to them, then God will repay you. In other words, it's like loaning to God to give to the poor. That's how much takes up the cause. And God says, "I'll repay you." So it's a neat thing to give to the poor. You're lending to the Lord. I like to lend to the Lord. I think it's grand to be able to lend to God. How can I do that? By giving to the poor. You're lending to the Lord and the Lord will repay you. The Lord will pay you back. Try it.

Chasten your son while there is hope, and let not your soul spare for his crying ( Proverbs 19:18 ).

Now, kids learn very quickly to start wailing the minute you look at them, you know, so that you won't hit them so hard or you won't spank them so long, or whatever. And so they really, they catch on quick, you know. Really wail and scream. Even when you miss them, you know, because they're already conditioned for that. So go ahead and spank your son really while there is hope. Don't spare for his crying.

Now, of course, let me say there is reason, and surely the Bible does not advocate child abuse. And there, in these days in which we live, is so much child abuse. It's terrible. To abuse a child has to be one of the worst things that a person could do. A little child that is so helpless, can't defend himself. I think that we need to be extremely careful in our punishment of a child. And I think that when we get to these kind of scriptures, surely we do not understand them to mean beating a child. Spanking a child, yes. But not beating a child. There's no value in that, ever.

A man of great wrath shall suffer punishment: for if you deliver him, you're just going to have to do it again ( Proverbs 19:19 ).

A guy with a hot temper, you know, you may get in and help him out, but man, you're just going to have to do it again.

Hear counsel, and receive instruction, that you may be wise in the latter end. There are many devices in man's heart; nevertheless the counsels of the LORD, they shall stand ( Proverbs 19:20-21 ).

In other words, you can't really fight against God or against God's Word. Now you may have all kinds of devices. You may be figuring out all kinds of schemes, but ultimately, you know, God's Word is going to stand. There is an old Greek saying, "The dice of the gods are loaded." That means you just can't go against God's Word and win. God has said certain things and you may scheme and device all you want. But the Word of the Lord is going to stand. And any time you try to go against the Word of God you're going to lose.

The desire of a man is his kindness: and a poor man is better than a liar. The fear of the LORD tends to life: and he that hath it shall abide satisfied; he will not be visited with evil ( Proverbs 19:22-23 ).

So the fear of the Lord, how important it is. Reverencing God. It just tends towards life. You'll be satisfied. Not be visited with evil.

The slothful man [again, the lazy man] he hides his hand in his bosom ( Proverbs 19:24 ),

And this is really lazy.

he won't even so much as bring it to his mouth ( Proverbs 19:24 ).

That's really lazy. When you get so lazy you're not going to feed yourself, you've had it.

Smite a scorner, and the simple will beware: and reprove one that hath understanding, and he will understand knowledge. He that wasteth his father, and chases away his mother, is a [rat, he's a] son that causes shame, and brings reproach. Cease, my son, to hear the instruction that causes to err from the words of knowledge. An ungodly witness scorns judgment: and the mouth of the wicked devours iniquity. Judgments are prepared for the scorners, and stripes for the backs of fools ( Proverbs 19:25-29 ). "

Gill's Exposition of the Whole Bible

A foolish son [is] the calamity of his father,.... Or, "the calamities of his father" q; he brings them to him. A very great affliction he is, and which has many distresses and sorrows in it; as loss of reputation and credit in his family, which is sunk by his behaviour, instead of being supported and increased; loss of substance, through extravagance and riotous living, and the ruin of his soul and body by his wicked practices; see Proverbs 10:1;

and the contentions of a wife [are] a continual dropping; or like the dropping of rain, in a rainy day, into a house out of repair, and which is very uncomfortable to, the inhabitants of it; see Proverbs 27:15. Such are the contentions of a peevish, ill natured, and brawling wife, who is always scolding; and which is a continual vexation to a man, and renders him very uneasy in life: such a continual dropping was Xantippe to Socrates, who teased him night and day with her brawls and contentions r. A great unhappiness each of these must be!

q הוות "calamitates", Vatablus; "aerumnae", Piscator, Michaelis; "causa aerumnarum", Junius & Tremellius. r A. Gell. Noct. Attic. l. 1. c. 17.

Henry's Complete Commentary on the Bible

      13 A foolish son is the calamity of his father: and the contentions of a wife are a continual dropping.

      It is an instance of the vanity of the world that we are liable to the greatest grief in those things wherein we promise ourselves the greatest comfort. It is as it proves. What greater temporal comfort can a man have than a good wife and good children? Yet, 1. A foolish son is a great affliction, and may make a man wish a thousand times he had been written childless. A son that will apply himself to no study or business, that will take no advice, that lives a lewd, loose, rakish life, and spends what he has extravagantly, games it away and wastes it in the excess of riot, or that is proud, foppish, and conceited, such a one is the grief of his father, because he is the disgrace, and is likely to be the ruin, of his family. He hates all his labour, when he sees to whom he must leave the fruit of it. 2. A cross peevish wife is as great an affliction: Her contentions are continual; every day, and every hour in the day, she finds some occasion to make herself and those about her uneasy. Those that are accustomed to chide never want something or other to chide at; but it is a continual dropping, that is, a continual vexation, as it is to have a house so much out of repair that it rains in and a man cannot lie dry in it. That man has an uncomfortable life, and has need of a great deal of wisdom and grace to enable him to bear his affliction and do his duty, who has a sot for his son and a scold for his wife.