Pastoral Resources

A freshman at Eagle Rock Junior High won first prize at the greater Idaho Falls Science Fair, April 26, 1997. He was attempting to show how conditioned we have become to alarmists practicing junk science and spreading fear of everything in our environment. In his project he urged people to sign a petition demanding strict control or total elimination of the chemical “dihydrogen monoxide.”

And for plenty of good reasons, since it:

1. Can cause excessive sweating and vomiting.

2. It is a major component in acid rain.

3. It can cause severe burns in its gaseous state.

4. Accidental inhalation can kill you.

5. It decreases effectiveness of automobile brakes.

6. It has been found in tumors of terminal cancer patients.

He asked 50 people if they supported a ban of the chemical. Forty-three said yes, six were undecided, and only one knew that the chemical was H20 (water).

The title of his prize winning project was, “How Gullible Are We?” He feels the conclusion is obvious.

A short man wanted to drive a nail in a wall to carry a big picture. He stood on a chair, but it was not high enough. His wife set out a small box and, balancing himself precariously, he began to give the nail hesitating taps with the hammer. His wife said, "Why don't you give a brave blow or two, and settle it?"

He replied, "How can a man give a brave blow or two when he is standing on a foundation like this?"

That settles the question of certainty or uncertainty. It depends upon the foundation upon which the person is standing. The Hebrew prophets never sounded a note of uncertainty, for God Almighty was their Foundation, and they knew that He stood behind their "Thus saith the Lord."

When did you last tell your wife, "I love you?" When did she last hear those words that are music to her ears-"I really do need you"? Have you recently told her, "Honey, I think you are a really good mother for our children?"

The vast majority of wives are starving for verbal affirmation from their husbands. And most men are so thoughtless and insensitive that they will not give their wives what the wives desperately want and deserve.

We husbands gladly encourage our wives to buy food and grudgingly encourage them to buy clothes, but most who come to counseling just cannot dig deeply enough to give complimentary words. So, marriages are unfulfilling, wives feel unappreciated, and many marriages wither and die.

Husbands, speak up! God expects you, as the head, to do more than provide financially for your wife. He wants you to also provide for her emotional well-being.

Whisper it, write it, or shout it-just get those words of affirmation to the ears of your wife.

When did you last tell your wife, "I love you?" When did she last hear those words that are music to her ears-"I really do need you"? Have you recently told her, "Honey, I think you are a really good mother for our children?"

The vast majority of wives are starving for verbal affirmation from their husbands. And most men are so thoughtless and insensitive that they will not give their wives what the wives desperately want and deserve.

We husbands gladly encourage our wives to buy food and grudgingly encourage them to buy clothes, but most who come to counseling just cannot dig deeply enough to give complimentary words. So, marriages are unfulfilling, wives feel unappreciated, and many marriages wither and die.

Husbands, speak up! God expects you, as the head, to do more than provide financially for your wife. He wants you to also provide for her emotional well-being.

Whisper it, write it, or shout it-just get those words of affirmation to the ears of your wife.

Near Lincoln, Kansas, stands a group of gravestones that boggles the imagination. A farmer named David, a self-made and determined man, managed to amass a considerable fortune, but had few friends and no relatives for whom he cared.

When his wife died, David erected an elaborate statue showing both her and himself sitting at the opposite ends of a loveseat. So pleased was he with this monument that he commissioned the sculptor to create another, this time showing him kneeling at her grave with a wreath in his hand. And that made such a fine impression upon him that he set out to erect still another tombstone depicting his wife kneeling at his future graveside with a wreath. He even put wings on her back as she now resided in another world. So, as time passed and one idea led to another, he eventually spent over a quarter of a million dollars on monuments to his wife and himself.

David had no interest in aiding his fellowmen or benefiting his nearby town. Nor did he become a blessing to the church, for he used all of his resources on shrines to self. He died at the age of 92, a resident of the poorhouse, and his cherished stones are slowly but surely sinking into the Kansas soil, victimized by vandalism and neglect, weathered by time.

Dr. Wilbur Chapman often told of his experience when, as a young man, he went to become pastor of a church in Philadelphia. After his first sermon, an old gentleman said to him, “You’re pretty young to be pastor of this church. But you preach the Gospel, and I’m going to help you all I can.”

Dr. Chapman thought, “Here’s a crank.”

But the man continued: “I’m going to pray for you that you may have the Holy Spirit’s power upon you. Two others have covenanted to join with me in prayer for you.”

Dr. Chapman said, “I didn’t feel so bad when I learned he was going to pray for me.

The 3 became 10, the 10 became 20, and 20 became 50, the 50 became 200 who met before every service to pray that the Holy Spirit might come upon me. I always went into my pulpit feeling that I would have the anointing in answer to the prayers of those who had faithfully prayed for me. It was a joy to preach! The result was that we received 1,100 into our church by conversion in three years, 600 of whom were men. It was the fruit of the Holy spirit in answer to prayer!”

The Christian sees through kinder eyes-like Jesus.

He gives from a bigger heart-like God.

He speaks with a purer tongue-like Christ.

He serves with more willing hands-like Jesus.

He walks with a greater faith-like his Lord.

He loves with agape love-like the Father in heaven.

He thinks with a spiritual mind-like Christ.

He sees the needs of others with a compassionate view-like Jesus.

He heals the wounds of others with love-like the Master.

The Christian is different only when Jesus rules his life.

Max Jukes lived in New York. He did not believe in Christ or in Christian training. He refused to take his children to church, even when they asked to go. He has had 1,026 descendants-300 were sent to prison for an average term of 13 years each; 190 were public prostitutes; 680 were admitted alcoholics. His family thus far, has cost the state in excess of ,000. They have made no contribution to society that is of any benefit.

Jonathan Edwards lived in the same state, at the same time as Jukes. He loved the Lord and saw that his children were in church every Sunday, as he served the Lord to the best of his ability. He has had 929 descendants-of these, 430 were ministers; 86 became university presidents; 75 authored good books; five were elected to the United States Congress and two to the Senate. One was Vice-President of this nation. His family never cost the state one cent but has contributed immeasurably to the life of plenty in this land today.

How is your influence and what legacy will you leave with your children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren?

Does evangelism make you nervous? If so, it will help to study carefully how Jesus interacted with people. Whom did He meet? How did He connect with them? Where did the encounters take place? Who initiated contact? What happened in the conversation?

Like Jesus’ original followers, believers today are sent into the world to be His witnesses (v. 48 [Luke 24]; compare Matt. 28:18-20; Acts 1:8). We can learn much about how to handle that assignment by asking questions of the four narratives of Jesus’ life—Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. They include more than 40 meetings between Jesus and various individuals.

Who started the conversation?

In nine cases, Jesus initiated the conversations. Examples:

a Samaritan woman (John 4:7-42)

a crippled beggar (John 5:1-15)

In 25 instances, it was the other party who started the discussion. Jesus responded to other people’s inquiries. Examples:

a rich young ruler (Matt. 19:16-30)

a demoniac (Mark 5:1-20)

Jairus, a synagogue ruler (Mark 5:21-43)

a hemorrhaging woman (Mark 5:24-34)

Other conversations were triggered by third parties. Examples:

tax collectors and other “sinners,” invited to a party by Matthew (Matt. 9:9-13)

Herod, introduced by Pilate (Luke 23:6-16)

Nathaniel, invited by Philip (John 1:45-51)

an adulterous woman brought by the scribes (John 8:1-11)

Where did the conversation take place?

The majority of Jesus’ interactions occurred in the workplace. Examples:

with James and John (Matt. 4:21-22)

with a Samaritan woman (John 4:7-42)

with a lame man (John 5:1-15)

Many took place in homes. Examples:

at Peter’s house with his mother-in-law (Mark 1:29-31)

with a Syro-Phoenician woman (Mark u:24-30)

at Zacchaeus’ house (Luke 19:1-10)

Few were in religious settings. Instead, Jesus talked with people about spiritual issues where they were most familiar. He did not need a special environment or control over the circumstances to discuss things of eternal significance.

What was discussed?

Jesus asked questions in more than half of the conversations He had. This is similar to God’s first response to the first sinners in history, when He asked four questions of Adam and Eve (Gen. 3:9, 11, 13). Examples:

an adulterous woman (John 8:1-11)

the scribes (Luke 5:17-26)

His mother and brothers (Matt. 12:46-50)

the Pharisees (Luke 6:6-11)

He connected with people’s thoughts and feelings. He understood that new ideas need to be connected with existing frames of reference if they are to last. He seldom pressed for “closure” or a decision. Instead, He understood that time is required for ideas to simmer and for people to own them before they act on them.

What can we learn from Jesus’ example?

Jesus knew how to take initiative.

Jesus responded to the initiatives of others.

Jesus left room in his schedule for interruptions by friends and others enlisting his help.

Jesus usually met people on their own turf.

Jesus was interested in establishing common ground with others.

Witnessing is a science, an art, and a mystery. It involves connecting your faith with people’s experience in a way that they can understand it, in their own time and manner. It means cooperating with whatever God’s Spirit may be doing with them and leaving the results to Him.

Money magazine reported in its January 1997 issue that a group of people were asked which is longer, the Panama Canal or the Suez Canal, and then asked how certain they were that their answer was correct. Among those who were 60% certain, 50% of them got the answer right—meaning that this group was 10% too sure. But among those who were 90% certain, only 65% got the answer right, meaning that this group was 25% too sure.

Apparently, according to this reported study, the more convinced we are of our knowledge, the bigger the gap between what we actually know and what we think we know. Such overconfidence leads to an illusion of control. As we overestimate the value of our own skills and knowledge, it leads us to make mistakes.

One of the hardest challenges for people is to accept just how little they really know. An example of overestimated knowledge took place a few years ago when a Spanish national lottery winner was asked how he selected the ticket number. He answered that he was positive his lucky number ended in 48—because, he said, “I dreamed of the number seven for seven straight nights. And seven times seven is 48.”

Took the time to go see someone who lives alone?

Wrote a letter to someone who crossed your mind?

Read the Bible to someone too ill to read for themselves?

Encouraged someone who was having a hard time being a Christian?

Prayed earnestly for someone who was faltering?

Tried to have a Bible study with someone you knew was lost?

Told a teenager that you were proud of his efforts to live for the Lord?

Spent more time on your knees praying than on the telephone talking?

EVERY CHRISTIAN CAN DO SOMETHING TO ENCOURAGE SOMEONE ELSE!

Experts estimate that if a normal cassette tape is played about 100 times a year, sound quality will deteriorate somewhat after about 10 years. But the tape itself will play on.

A lightening bolt lasts 45 to 55 microseconds.

The average running shoe worn by the average runner on an average surface will last 350 to 500 miles.

A hard pencil can write up to 30,000 words or draw a line more than 30 miles long. Most ball-point pens will draw a line 4,000 to 7,500 feet long.

Leather combat boots have a wartime life-span of six months, a peacetime life-span of eight months (The army walks during war and peace.)

The projected life-span of a baby born in the U.S. today is about 71 years, nearly double what it was at the end of the 18th century. The longest authenticated life-span of a human being is 113 years, 214 days. Studies show married people live longer than those who remain single.

A group of subatomic particles known as unstable hadrons exists for only one one-hundred-sextillionth of a second (10 to the negative 23 second)—less time than it takes light to travel a single inch.

A 100-watt incandescent bulb will last about 750 hours; a 25-watt bulb, 2,500 hours. The number of times a light bulb is turned on and off has little to do with its life-span.

A one-dollar bill lasts approximately 18 months in circulation.

Practice footballs used by professionals last two to three days—a playing life of perhaps five hours. Home teams are required to provide 24 new balls each game and these last only about six minutes of playing time.

Sergeant Kenneth E. Neu was stationed in the U.S. Airborne unit in Germany, where the parachute drop zone was located next to a Mercedes-Benz test track. One windy day, a gust of wind blew his parachute over the track. Knowing how hard a landing on asphalt can be, he braced himself, landed and checked for broken bones. Amazingly, he was fine.

Suddenly the wind inflated Neu’s parachute and started dragging him down the track. He hit the chute’s canopy release and looked up just in time to see a car speeding toward him. Acting quickly, he grabbed his chute and ran to the edge of the track. Out of breath but uninjured, he thought, “How lucky can I be?”

Relieved, he turned, stepped into a gopher hole and twisted his ankle.

The renowned 19th-century English preacher C. H. Spurgeon told this story about King Cyrus, the man who conquered Babylon and freed the Jews from captivity: A visitor who was admiring Cyrus’ gardens said it gave him much pleasure. “Ah,” said Cyrus, “but you have not so much pleasure in this garden as I have, for I have planted every tree in it myself.”

Spurgeon then commented, “One reason some saints will have a greater fullness of heaven than others will be that they did more for heaven than others. By God’s grace they were enabled to bring more souls there.”

those words should cause all of us who know the Lord to do some serious thinking. How many people will be in heaven because of us? Our desire should be that when we reach our eternal home, some will say to us, “I’m so thankful for you. It was your testimony, your life, your invitation to accept Christ that accounts for my being here today.” The apostle Paul anticipated the joy in heaven of seeing people who were there as a result of his ministry (1 Thess. 2:19-20).

Yes, heaven’s joys will be the fullest for those who have helped lead others to Christ. So do all you can to bring to Jesus those who are lost in sin. That’s how you can lay up pleasures in heaven!

1960s arithmetic test: “a logger cuts and sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is four-fifths of that amount. What is his profit?”

’70s new-math test: “A logger exchanges a set (L) of lumber for a set (M) of money. The cardinality of Set M is 100. The Set C of production costs contains 20 fewer points. What is the cardinality of Set P of profits?”

’80s “dumbed down” version: “A logger cuts and sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost is $80, his profit is $20. Find and circle the number 20.”

’90s version: “An unenlightened logger cuts down a beautiful stand of 100 trees in order to make a $20 profit. Write an essay explaining how you feel about this as a way to make money. Topic for discussion: How did the forest birds and squirrels feel?”

At a meeting of the American Psychological Association, Jack Lipton, a psychologist at Union College, and R. Scott Builione, a graduate student at Columbia University, presented their findings on how members of the various sections of 11 major symphony orchestra perceived each other. The percussionists were viewed as insensitive, unintelligent, and hard-of-hearing, yet fun-loving. String players were seen as arrogant, stuffy, and unathletic. The orchestra members overwhelmingly chose “loud” as the primary adjective to describe the brass players. Woodwind players seemed to be held in the highest esteem, described as quiet and meticulous, though a bit egotistical. Interesting findings, to say the least! With such widely divergent personalities and perceptions, how could an orchestra ever come together to make such wonderful music? The answer is simple: regardless of how those musicians view each other, they subordinate their feelings and biases to the leadership of the conductor. Under his guidance, they play beautiful music. Today in the Word, June 22, 1992

Only one book is banned from the government schools of America, though once it was in every classroom on the teachers' desks and read daily to the students.

Only one book is hated and feared by Communists, humanists and other atheistic groups. They claim that it is only a book of myths and legends, but they cannot tolerate it.

A religious liberal years ago was attacking the Bible in his weekly column in a local newspaper. He said that the Bible was full of errors, contradictions, superstitions, folklore and mythology. We requested permission from the newspaper to answer him week by week, line by line.

In our answer, we asked him why, if the Bible was only a man-made book of legends, he could not let it alone. Why the weird bent to discredit it?

When 10,000 Bibles were sent from America to the people of Romania, Communist Director Nicolas Ceausescu accepted them in order to get favored-nation status from the United States Congress. He then shipped them to a paper mill to be recycled into toilet paper. They were so poorly recycled that Bible words such as Esau, Jeremiah and God remained visible (Reader's Digest, July, 1990, p. 84).

The wicked Communist leader eventually met a horrible death as his regime was toppled by the people he had persecuted. The anvil of God's Word had broken another little human hammer that beat upon it.

The enemies of God's Word will be judged by the Word which they reject, despise and hate. The redeemed will be saved by the Word which they accept and love.

I remember a few years ago I got discouraged, and could not see much fruit of my work; and one morning, as I was in my study, cast down, one of my Sabbath-school teachers came in and wanted to know what I was discouraged about, and I told him because I could see no result from my work; and speaking about Noah, he said: "By the way, did you ever study up the character of Noah?" I felt that I knew all about that, and told him that I was familiar with it, and he said, "Now, if you never studied that carefully, you ought to do it, for I cannot tell you what a blessing it has been to me." When he went out I took down my Bible and commenced to read about Noah, and the thought came stealing over me, "Here is a man that toiled and worked a hundred years and didn't get discouraged; if he did, the Holy Ghost didn't put it on record," and the clouds lifted, and I got up and said, if the Lord wants me to work without any fruit I will work on. I went down to the noon prayer-meeting, and when I saw the people coming to pray I said to myself, "Noah worked a hundred years and he never saw a prayer-meeting outside of his own family." Pretty soon a man got up right across the aisle where I was sitting, and said he had come from a little town where there had been a hundred uniting with the Church of God the year before. And I thought to myself, "What if Noah had heard that! He preached so many, many years, and didn't get a convert, yet he was not discouraged." Then a man got up right behind me, and he trembled as he said, "I am lost. I want you to pray for my soul." And I said, "What if Noah had heard that! He worked a hundred and twenty years, and never had a man come to him and say that; and yet he didn't get discouraged." And I made up my mind then, that, God helping me, I would never get discouraged. I would do the best I could, and leave the result with God, and it has been a wonderful help to me.

"We Will Never Surrender."

There's a story told in history in the ninth century, I believe, of a young man that came up with a little handful of men to attack a king who had a great army of three thousand men. The young man had only five hundred, and the king sent a messenger to the young man, saying that he need not fear to surrender, for he would treat him mercifully. The young man called up one of his soldiers and said: "Take this dagger and drive it to your heart;" and the soldier took the dagger and drove it to his heart. And calling up another, he said to him, "Leap into yonder chasm," and the man leaped into the chasm. The young man then said to the messenger, "Go back and tell your King I have got five hundred men like these. We will die, but we will never surrender. And tell your King another thing; that I will have him chained with my dog inside of half an hour." And when the King heard that he did not dare to meet them, and his army fled before them like chaff before the wind, and within twenty-four hours he had that King chained with his dog. That is the kind of zeal we want. "We will die, but we will never surrender." We will work until Jesus comes, and then we will rise with Him.

Dwight L. Moody was passing along the streets of Chicago when he spied two little girls playing out in front of an underground saloon. His heart was instantly moved with compassion for the children, and he walked straightway into the cellar.

The barkeeper, thinking that he wanted a drink, said, "What will you have?" "Those children for my Sunday school," replied Moody. "Children for your Sunday school! Do you know where you are? An infidel club meets here every Thursday night."

But the tactful soul winner knew it was not a time for retreat, so, resting his elbows on the bar, he looked into the face of this father and pleaded with him earnestly in behalf of the little girls.

Finally, the man's heart was touched and he said, "I will tell you what I will do, parson. If you will come down here next Thursday night and meet the boys in a joint discussion, and you win, you shall have the children; but if not, it is all off." "Agreed," exclaimed Moody. "I will be here." Taking his departure, he looked up a little crippled newsboy whom he knew, who could pray effectually and said to him, "Tommy, I want you next Thursday night."

When the hour arrived, Tommy and the evangelist entered the saloon. It was full. The men were sitting on whiskey barrels, on beer kegs and on the counter, while others were at the windows in expectation of a debate.

Moody opened the meeting by saying: "Gentlemen, it is our custom to open our meetings with prayer. Tommy, jump on that barrel and pray," whereupon Tommy perched himself on the barrel, turned his little face up toward heaven, and how he did pray! As the tears stole down his cheeks, the more tenderhearted beat a retreat; and finally those more rock-like, subdued by the pathos and spiritual power of the occasion, slowly retired, until there were none left except the barkeeper, Moody and the praying boy.

"That will do, Tommy," exclaimed the evangelist. "I claim the children," said he, turning to the father. "They are yours according to contract," replied the father, "but it is a queer way to fight." "It is the way I win my battles," said Moody. He had instructed the little boy not to cease praying until he had prayed them all out. It was a piece of strategy full of tactfulness. The reality, the venturesomeness, and the tact of such a man is worth emulating.

When I was in Edinburgh, at the inquiry meeting in Assembly Hall, one of the ushers came around and said, "Mr. Moody, I'd like to put that man out; he's one of the greatest infidels in Edinburgh." He had been the chairman of an infidel club for years, I went around to where he was and sat down by him. "How is it with you, my friend?" I asked, and then he laughed and said, "You say God answers prayer; I tell you He doesn't. I don't believe in a God. Try it on me." "Will you get down with me and pray?" I asked him; but he wouldn't. So I got down on my knees beside him and prayed. Next night he was there again. I prayed, and quite a number of others prayed for him. A few months after that, away up in the north of Scotland, at Wick, I was preaching in the open air, and while I stood there I saw the infidel standing on the outskirts of the crowd. I went up to him at the close of the meeting and said: "How is it with you, my friend?" He laughed and said, "I told you your praying is all false; God hasn't answered your prayers; go and talk to these deluded people." He had just the same spirit as before, but I relied on faith. Shortly after I got a letter from a barrister--a Christian. He was preaching one night in Edinburgh, when this infidel went up to him and said: "I want you to pray for me; I am troubled." The barrister asked, "What is the trouble?" and he replied: "I don't know what's the matter, but I don't have any peace, and I want you to pray for me." Next day he went around to that lawyer's office and he said that he had found Christ.

This man now is doing good work, and I heard that out of thirty inquirers there, ten or twelve of his old associates and friends were among them. So, if you have God with you, and you go to work for Him, and you meet infidels and skeptics, just bear in mind that you can win through faith. When Christ saw the faith of those four men, He said to the man: "Thy sins are forgiven you." My friends, if you have faith all things are possible.

Anna M. Jarvis (1864-1948) first suggested the national observance of an annual day honoring all mothers because she had loved her own mother so dearly. At a memorial service for her mother on May 10, 1908, Miss Jarvis gave a carnation (her mother’s favorite flower) to each person who attended. Within he next few years, the idea of a day to honor mothers gained popularity, and Mother’s Day was observed in a number of large cities in the U.S. On May 9, 1914, by an act of Congress, President Woodrow Wilson proclaimed the second Sunday in May as Mother’s Day. He established the day as a time for “public expression of our love and reverence for the mothers of our country.” By then it had become customary to wear white carnations to honor departed mothers and red to honor the living, a custom that continues to this day.

Dick Wade, a Kansas City sportswriter, once decided to find out exactly how much “action” occurred in a baseball game. So, on June 21, 1956, he took a stopwatch to a game between the Kansas City Athletics and Washington Senators and counted the time it took a ball to leave the pitcher’s hand until it arrived at home plate; then on all hit balls, he let the clock run until the batter was either out or safe. The total “action” during the two-hour, 28-minute game was 8. 5 minutes. Kansas City won, 15-6.

There is a story of a man who tried to weigh a prayer. He owned a little grocery store. It was the week before Christmas, shortly after World War I.

A tired-looking woman came into the store and asked for enough food to make a Christmas dinner for the children. The grocer asked her how much she could spend.

"My husband did not come back; he was killed in the War. And I have nothing to offer but a little prayer," she answered.

The storekeeper was not very sentimental nor religious, so he said, half mockingly, "Write it on paper, and I will weigh it."

To his surprise, the woman took a piece of paper from her pocket and handed it to the man, saying, "I wrote it during the night while watching over my sick baby."

The grocer took the piece of paper before he could recover from his surprise and, because other customers were watching and had heard his remarks, he placed the unread prayer on the weight side of the old-fashioned scales. Then he began to pile food on the other side; but to his amazement, the scale would not go down.

He became angry and flustered and finally said, "Well, that's all the scale will hold. Here's a bag; you will have to put it in yourself, I am busy."

With trembling hands the woman filled the bag, and through moist eyes expressed her gratitude and departed.

After that the store was empty of customers, the grocer examined the scales. Yes, they were broken and they had become broken just in time for God to answer the prayer of the woman. But as the years passed, the grocer often wondered about the incident. Why did the woman come at just the right time? Why had she already written the prayer in such a way as to confuse the grocer so that he did not examine the scales?

The grocer is an old man now, but the weight of the paper still lingers with him. He never saw the woman again, nor had he seen her before that day. Yet he remembers her more than any of his customers.

And he treasures the slip of paper upon which the woman's prayer had been written-simple words, but from a heart of faith, "Please, Lord, give us this day our daily bread."

Good morning, madam. May I help you?

Yes, please, I’d like to buy a minister.

For yourself or your church?

Oh, for my church, of course. I’m already married.

Uh, yes. Did you have a particular model in mind?

I’ve got a description from the Candidate Committee right here. We want a man about 30, well educated, with some experience. Good preacher and teacher. Balanced personality. Serious, but with a sense of humor. Efficient, but not rigid. Good health. Able to identify with all age groups. And, if possible, sings tenor.

Sings tenor?

We’re short of tenors in the choir.

I see. Well, that’s quite a list. How much money did you want to spend?

The committee says $9,000. $9,500 tops.

Hmmm. Well, perhaps we’d better start in the bargain basement.

Tell me, how much is that model in the window?

You mean the one in the Pendleton plaid suit and the gray suede dune boots?

Yes, that one. He’s a real dream.

That’s our Princeton #467. Has a Ph.D. and AKC papers.

AKC?

American Koinonia Council. He sells for $16,000 plus house.

Wow! That’s too rich for our blood. What about that model over there?

Ah, yes. An exceptional buy. Faith #502. He’s a little older than 30, but has excellent experience. Aggressive. Good heart. Has a backing of sermons, two of which have been printed in Christian Leaders.

He’s not too bad. Can you do something about his bald head? Mrs. Penner especially insists that our minister have some hair.

Madam, all our ministers come in a variety of hair styles.

I’ll keep him in mind.

Now let me show you Olympia #222. Four years of varsity sports at Brass Ring College. Plays football, basketball, volleyball, and Ping-Pong. Comes complete with sports equipment.

What a physique! He must weigh 200 pounds!

Yes, indeed. You get a lot for your money with this one. And think what he can do for your young people.

Great. But how is he at preaching?

I must admit he’s not St. Peter. But you can’t expect good sermons and a church-wide athletic program too!

I suppose not. Still…

Let me show you our Fresno #801. Now here’s a preacher. All his sermons are superb—well- researched, copious anecdotes, and they always have three points. And—he comes with a full set of the Religious Encyclopedia at no extra charge! You get the whole package for $8,300.

He’s wearing awfully thick glasses.

For $220 more we put in contact lenses.

I don’t know. He might study too much. We don’t want a man who’s in his office all the time.

Of course.

How about this minister over here?

Comes from a management background. Trained in business operations at Beatitude College. Adept with committees. Gets his work done by 11:30 every morning.

His tag says he’s an IBM 400.

Madam, you have a discerning eye. Innovative Biblical Methods. This man will positively revitalize your church.

I’m not sure our church wants to be revitalized. Haven’t you got something less revolutionary?

Well, would you like someone of the social worker type? We have this Ghetto #130.

The man with the beard? Good gracious, no. Mrs. Penner would never go for that.

How about our Empathy #41C? His forte is counseling. Very sympathetic. Patient. Good with people who have problems.

Everyone in our church has problems. But he might not get out and visit new people. We really need a man who does a lot of visitation. You see, all our people are very busy and…

Yes, yes, I understand. You want a minister who can do everything well.

That’s it! Haven’t you got somebody like that?

I’m thinking. In our back room we have a minister who was traded in last week. Excellent man, but he broke down after three years. If you don’t mind a used model, we can sell him at a reduced price.

Well, we had hoped for someone brand-new. We just redecorated the sanctuary, and we wanted a new minister to go with it.

Of course. But with a little exterior work, and a fresh suit, this man will look like he just came out of the box. No one will ever know. Let me bring him out and you can look him over.

All right. Honestly, this minister shopping is exhausting. It’s so hard to get your money’s worth. Tell me, do you also give Green Stamps with the contract?

Uh—no. But if there’s any dissatisfaction after six months we send a new congregation for the balance of the years. That usually takes care of most problems.

Leo Tolstoy once wrote a story about a successful peasant farmer who was not satisfied with his lot. He wanted more of everything. One day he received a novel offer. For 1000 rubles, he could buy all the land he could walk around in a day. The only catch in the deal was that he had to be back at his starting point by sundown. Early the next morning he started out walking at a fast pace. By midday he was very tired, but he kept going, covering more and more ground. Well into the afternoon he realized that his greed had taken him far from the starting point. He quickened his pace and as the sun began to sink low in the sky, he began to run, knowing that if he did not make it back by sundown the opportunity to become an even bigger landholder would be lost. As the sun began to sink below the horizon he came within sight of the finish line. Gasping for breath, his heart pounding, he called upon every bit of strength left in his body and staggered across the line just before the sun disappeared. He immediately collapsed, blood streaming from his mouth. In a few minutes he was dead. Afterwards, his servants dug a grave. It was not much over six feet long and three feet wide. The title of Tolstoy’s story was: How Much Land Does a Man Need?

Nearly one-third of the four Gospels is devoted to accounts of the death of Christ, the incidents leading up to it and following it. A writer has reminded us that the other two-thirds of the four Gospels are given up to a preparation for the account of Christ's death.

If the men who gave us the record of Jesus' life thought His death was an event of such importance as to justify giving it so large a portion of their attention, is it not possible that we have erred in understanding the comparative importance of the cross?

There was a story in a Rochester, Texas church bulletin about a young man who was working in a large department store, being told by his employer that he would be required to work on Sunday. It so happened that the hours assigned to him would have prevented his attending any of the worship services to which he had been accustomed to attending since childhood.

The young man informed his employer that he would not be able to continue his work under these conditions, and his employer told him he would have to go.

A few days later, the young man answered an ad in the paper from a bank which had advertised a vacancy for a teller. In checking the young man's previous employers, the bank president contacted the department store head and inquired as to the boy's record and whether he could recommend him. The store manager replied, "Why, yes, I will be glad to recommend him. He will make you a good man. I just fired him a few days ago."

"Fired him?" the bank president exclaimed. "Why would you recommend a man whom you just recently dismissed from your service?" The store manager explained the circumstances under which the boy was released, and remarked, "I know he will make you a good man for your bank, because if he will not steal the Lord's time, he will not steal your money."

There was a story in a Rochester, Texas church bulletin about a young man who was working in a large department store, being told by his employer that he would be required to work on Sunday. It so happened that the hours assigned to him would have prevented his attending any of the worship services to which he had been accustomed to attending since childhood.

The young man informed his employer that he would not be able to continue his work under these conditions, and his employer told him he would have to go.

A few days later, the young man answered an ad in the paper from a bank which had advertised a vacancy for a teller. In checking the young man's previous employers, the bank president contacted the department store head and inquired as to the boy's record and whether he could recommend him. The store manager replied, "Why, yes, I will be glad to recommend him. He will make you a good man. I just fired him a few days ago."

"Fired him?" the bank president exclaimed. "Why would you recommend a man whom you just recently dismissed from your service?" The store manager explained the circumstances under which the boy was released, and remarked, "I know he will make you a good man for your bank, because if he will not steal the Lord's time, he will not steal your money."

Said the preacher to the inactive member, "I am sorry to see that you have quit the church." Said the inactive member, indignantly, "But, I have not quit." The minister replied, "you do not attend worship or study. You do not give of your money. And you do not participate in fellowship or work. You do not offer to be of assistance in helping others. What is it you would do, if you quit, that you have not already done?

Clifton Fadiman, in The Little, Brown Book Of Anecdotes, tells a story about Vladimir Nabokov, the Russian-born novelist who achieved popular success with his novels Lolita (1955), Pale Fire (1962) and Ada (1969). One summer in the 1940s, Nabokov and his family stayed with James Laughlin at Alta, Utah, where Nabokov took the opportunity to enlarge his collection of butterflies and moths. Fadiman relates: “Nabokov’s fiction has never been praised for its compassion; he was single-minded if nothing else. One evening at dusk he returned from his day’s excursion saying that during hot pursuit near Bear Gulch he had heard someone groaning most piteously down by the stream. “‘Did you stop’ Laughlin asked him. “‘No, I had to get the butterfly.’” The next day the corpse of an aged prospector was discovered in what has been renamed, in Nabokov’s honor, Dead Man’s Gulch.” While people around us are dying, how often we chase butterflies!

Children touring a retirement home were asked by a resident if they had any questions. “Yes,” one girl said. “How old are you?”

“I’m 98,” she replied proudly.

Clearly impressed, the child’s eyes grew wide with wonder. “Did you start at one?”

The unfilled spiritual tank is an invitation to disaster, and many of us have known that awful moment when, like a car out of gas, we seem to cough and sputter and pull over to the shoulder, out of service, not able to go any farther.

We have all seen the car out of gas in a long tunnel or on a narrow bridge at rush hour. Thousands of people are potentially affected by the clogged-up mess that follows. And it can happen in spiritual life also. One empty spiritual tank can affect a score of other people. It has happened more than once.

It is said of one of the famous composers that he had a rebellious son who used to come in late at night after his father and mother had gone to bed. And before going to his own room, he would go to his father's piano and slowly, as well as loudly, play a simple scale, all but the final note. Then leaving the scale uncompleted, he would retire to his room. Meanwhile the father, hearing the scale minus the final note, would writhe on his bed, his mind unable to relax because the scale was unresolved. Finally, in consternation, he would stumble down the stairs and hit the previously unstruck note. Only then would his mind surrender to sleep once again.

God's labor seems never to be complete until the final note on the scale, the concluding, still time, a pause that looks backward and pronounces completion and value.

As a Christian, do you know how to communicate the message of Christ to the different audiences you encounter? Or do you use the same old formula time after time, no matter who is listening? For that matter, do you remain silent when you have the opportunity to speak up for Christ, because you simply don’t know what to say?

Paul had no prepackaged gospel message. He varied his approach with the situation. He was as aware of the differences between his audiences as he was of the content of his faith. Acts records numerous encounters, among them:

(1) Jews in the synagogue at Antioch of Pisidia (Acts 13:14-43).

Paul reviewed the history of the Jewish faith, summarizing it from the Old Testament (vv. 17-22).

He told how that history led to Jesus (vv. 23-37).

He pointed out his audience’s need to accept Jesus as their Messiah (vv. 38-41).

He responded to their resistance by clearly explaining the alternative (vv. 46-48).

Result:

Many chose to follow the way of Christ (v. 43).

Others reacted negatively and opposed Paul (v. 45).

Troublemakers incited city leaders to persecute Paul and his companions (v. 50).

(2) Intellectuals at Athens (17:16-33).

Paul prepared by observing and reflecting on their culture (v. 16).

He addressed them on their own turf, the Areopagus (vv. 19, 22).

He established common ground, beginning with what was familiar and meaningful to them (vv. 22-23a, 28).

He bridged to a description of God as the Creator and sustainer of life, distinguishing Him from the pagan idols that the Athenians worshiped (vv. 23b-29).

He challenged them to repentance and appealed to the resurrection of Christ as proof that what he was telling them was true (vv. 30-31).

Result:

Some mocked (v. 32).

Some wanted to hear more (v. 32).

Some believed (vv. 34-35).

(3) An angry mob in Jerusalem (21:27-22:21).

Paul built a bridge by reminding them of his own Jewish heritage (21:30).

He reminded them that he, too, had once detested Jesus’ followers; in fact, he had persecuted them (22:4-5).

He explained the process by which he had changed his mind and joined a movement that he once opposed (vv. 6-17).

Result:

Already at fever pitch (21:27-30), the crowd erupted violently, demanding Paul’s death (22:22-23).

(4) High officials in a Roman court (26:1-32).

Paul described his religious heritage (vv. 4-5).

He related his view of his opponents’ charges against him (vv. 6-8).

He recalled his previous opposition to Jesus’ followers (vv. 9-11).

He recounted his own life-changing encounter with Christ (vv. 12-19).

He explained the fundamentals of Jesus’ message and the implications for his non-Jewish listeners (vv. 20-23).

Result:

The rulers listened carefully (vv. 24, 31-32).

They challenged his application of the gospel to them (vv. 24, 28).

They passed him on in the Roman judicial process, thereby foiling a Jewish plot against him (vv. 31-21).

The gospel itself is forever the same, but as Christ’s followers we are called to shape our message to fit our various audiences. How do your coworkers and friends differ from each other? What effect should that have on your life and message for them? What aspects of the good news would they most likely respond to? Do you know how they view faith? Why not ask them—before you speak?

"And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell not; for it was founded upon a rock" (Mat 7:25).

The permanence of any building depends upon three things: the materials used, wisdom exercised in its construction, and its foundation. Inferior materials, though skillfully assembled, cannot stand for long against the elements of nature. Nor will superior materials, if carelessly put together, be able to stand. A combination of sound materials and wise direction in assembling is necessary if the building is to endure, also it is very important that it be built upon a solid foundation. The same truths apply to the building of a life. One must choose his materials carefully and work them into the structure of his life wisely. He must be positive that it is built on a good foundation. In the sermon on the mount, Jesus challenges each one of us to build for eternity! Jesus urges men to cast aside such material as selfishness, hypocrisy, lust, and hatred. These can only lead to failure and ruin.

Christ prescribes the materials that will stand throughout time and eternity. He stresses humility, meekness, righteousness, mercy, and purity. The quality of this material has been tested and tried through the centuries.

We must heed the instructions of the Master Architect. Build with Christ-Build for eternity!

They huddled inside the storm door-two children in ragged, outgrown coats.

"Any old papers, Lady?" they asked a passerby.

She was very busy; she wanted to say no, until she looked down at their feet wrapped only in thin little sandals, sopped with sleet. "Come on in and I will make you a cup of cocoa," she said. There was no conversation. Their soggy sandals left marks on the clean hearthstone.

Cocoa and cake would fortify against the chill outside. After serving them, she went back to the kitchen and started on her household budget as they sat enjoying the warmth.

After a few minutes, the silence in the front room struck through to her. She looked in.

The girl held her empty cup in her hands, looking at it. The boy asked in a flat voice, "Lady, are you rich?"

"Am I rich? Mercy no!" She looked at her shabby slipcovers.

The girl put her cup back in its saucer carefully. "Your cups match your saucers." Her voice was old with a hunger that was not of the stomach.

They left then, holding their bundles of papers against the wind. They had not said thank you. They did not need to. They had done more than that. Plain blue pottery cups and saucers-but they matched. She tested the potatoes and stirred the gravy. "Potatoes and brown gravy, a roof over our heads, my husband with a good, steady job-these things matched, too," she mused.

She moved the chairs back from the fire and tidied the living room. The muddy prints of small sandals were still set upon the hearth, and she let them be. "I want them there in case I ever forget how very rich I am," she told herself.

According to a survey of people who ought to know, the answer is $1 million to $5 million in assets. Investment managers Neuberger & Bergman sponsored the survey of people who stand to give or receive inheritances (median household assets: $500,000). Paradoxically, 55% of those whose assets ranged from $1 million to $5 million don’t consider themselves wealthy.

From the standpoint of material wealth, Americans have difficulty realizing how rich we are. Going through a little mental exercise suggested by Robert Heilbroner can help us to count our blessings, however. Imagine doing the following, and you will see how daily life is for as many as a billion people in the world:

1. Take out all the furniture in your home except for one table and a couple of chairs. Use blanket and pads for beds.

2. Take away all of your clothing except for your oldest dress or suit, shirt or blouse. Leave only one pair of shoes.

3. Empty the pantry and the refrigerator except for a small bag of flour, some sugar and salt, a few potatoes, some onions, and a dish of dried beans.

4. Dismantle the bathroom, shut off the running water, and remove all the electrical wiring in your house.

5 Take away the house itself and move the family into the tool shed.

6. Place your “house’ in a shantytown.

7. Cancel all subscriptions to newspapers, magazines, and book clubs. This is no great loss because now none of you can read anyway.

8. Leave only one radio for the whole shantytown.

9. Move the nearest hospital or clinic ten miles away and put a midwife in charge instead of a doctor.

10. Throw away your bankbooks, stock certificates, pension plans, and insurance policies. Leave the family a cash hoard of ten dollars.

11. Give the head of the family a few acres to cultivate on which he can raise a few hundred dollars of cash crops, of which one third will go to the landlord and one tenth to the money lenders.

12. Lop off twenty-five or more years in life expectancy.

By comparison how rich we are! And with our wealth comes responsibility to use it wisely, not to be wasteful, and to help others. Think on these things.

I believe that Satan works in three major ways to bring sickness and suffering on people:

1. Satan causes sickness directly. An obvious tactic is demonization. For example, approximately 25 percent of Jesus’ healings as recorded in the Gospel of Mark involve demons. The direct influence of the devil is explicitly demonstrated when Jesus healed a crippled woman and was scolded by a synagogue leader for doing it on the Sabbath. Jesus said, “Ought not this woman being a daughter of Abraham, whom Satan has bound—think of it—for eighteen years, be loosed from this bond on the Sabbath?” (Luke 13:16). Satan’s direct role is also explicit in the case of Job. What percentage of sickness is directly caused by Satan we do not know, but unquestionably much is.

2. Satan indirectly uses the natural results of the Fall to cause sickness and suffering. He uses bacteria, viruses, malnutrition, accidents, fights, poison, old age, rapists, murderers and on and on. In all probability most sickness falls into this category.

3. Satan tempts people to fall into sin, and God at times uses sickness to punish them for it. There are many examples in the Old Testament of plagues, which God sent on His own people to punish them for sin. When some Israelites rebelled against Moses and Aaron, God sent a plague and killed 14,700 (see Num. 16:45-50). Then God killed another 50,070 Israelites at Beth Shemesh when they disobeyed him by looking into the ark of the Lord (see 1 Sam. 6:19), just to cite two examples. In the New Testament, God made Elymas the sorcerer blind as part of a power encounter (see Acts 13:6-12). In Corinth some believers were sick and some had died as a result of abusing the Lord’s supper (see I Cor. 11:30).

No matter what the immediate cause, the usual outcomes of sickness are pain, suffering and death, all the works of Satan.

If your senses are working normally, you can:

Feel on your fingertips or face a pressure that depresses your skin a bare .00004 inch.

See a small candle flame from 30 miles away on a clear, dark night.

Smell one drop of perfume diffused through a three-room apartment.

Taste .04 ounce of table salt dissolved in 530 quarts of water.

Feel the weight of a bee’s wing falling on your cheek from less than half an inch away.

Distinguish among more than 300,000 different color variations.

Gauge the direction of a sound’s origin based on a .00003-second difference in its arrival from one ear to the other.

I thought the sun was blotted out of my sky—that I had so sinned against God that there was no hope for me. I prayed—the Lord knoweth how I prayed—but I never had a glimpse of an answer that I knew of. I searched the Word of God; the promises were more alarming that the threatenings. I read the privileges of the people of God, but with the fullest persuasion that they were not for me. The secret of my distress was this: I did not know the gospel. I was in a Christian land; I had Christian parents; but I did not understand the freeness and simplicity of the Gospel.

I knew it was said, “Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved,” but I did not know what it was to believe in Christ.

I sometimes think I might have been in darkness and despair now had it not been for the goodness of God in sending a snowstorm one Sunday morning, when I was going to a place of worship. When I could go no further I found a little chapel with fifteen people. The minister did not come that morning because of the snow. A poor man, a shoemaker went into the pulpit to preach. His text was, “Look unto me, and be ye saved, all the ends of the earth.” There was, I thought a glimpse of hope for me in his text. He began thus: “My dear friends, this is a very simple text indeed. It says, ‘Look.’ Now that does not take a deal of effort. It isn’t lifting your foot or your finger; it is just ‘look.’ Well, a man need not go to college to learn to look. Anyone can look; a child can look. But this is what the text says. Then it says, ‘Look unto me.’ Many of you are looking to yourselves. No use looking there. You’ll never find comfort in yourself.

Then the good man followed up his text in this way: “Look unto Me; I am sweating great drops of blood. Look unto Me; I am hanging on the Cross. Look! I am dead and buried. Look unto Me; I rise again. Look unto Me; I ascend; I am sitting at the Father’s right hand. Oh, look to me! Look to Me!”

Then He turned his attention to me. He said, “Young man, you look very miserable. And you will always be miserable—in life and in death if you do not obey my text. But if you obey, now, this moment, you will be saved.”

Then he shouted, “Young man, look to Jesus Christ; look NOW!” He made me start in my seat; but I did look to Jesus Christ. There and then the cloud rolled away, and that moment I saw the sun. I could have risen that moment and sung with the most enthusiastic of them of the precious blood of Christ, and the simple faith which looks alone to Him. Oh, that somebody had told me that before—trust Christ, and you shall be saved!

Robert J. Thomas, a Welshman, was a colporteur working in China for the Scottish Bible Society. In the course of his work, he learned that the Korean language is based on Chinese and that, as a result, the Korean intellectuals could read Chinese. His main responsibility was toward the millions in China, of course. But the love of Christ for the Koreans constrained him, and he determined to push on to that country. An American ship called the General Sherman was sailing to Pyongyang, a large city in the north. He boarded it. As the ship drew near to Pyongyang, however, a sharp fight broke out between the officers of the American ship and the Korean coast guard. The ship was burned in the conflict, and all the passengers were killed. The death of Thomas was unusual, however. As the ship and the passengers were sinking, he struggled to reach the shore and staggered up out of the water his arms filled with books. They were Bibles. He thrust these into the hands of the Koreans who clubbed him to death. It was through such love that the gospel first came to Korea in the year 1886.

George Whitefield, the famous English evangelist, said, "O Lord, give me souls, or take my soul!"

Henry Martin, a missionary, cried as he knelt on India's coral strands, "Here let me burn out for God."

David Brainerd, missionary to the North American Indians in the early 18th century, prayed, "Lord, to Thee I dedicate myself, oh accept of me, and let me be Thine forever. Lord, I desire nothing else, I desire nothing more." The last words in his diary written several days before he died were, "Oh come, Lord Jesus, come quickly. Amen."

Thomas � Kempis, 1379-1471, said, "Give what Thou wilt, and how much Thou wilt, and when Thou wilt. Set me where Thou wilt and deal with me in all things as Thou wilt."

Dwight L. Moody implored, "Use me then, my Savior, for whatever purpose and in whatever way Thou mayest require. Here is my poor heart, an empty vessel, fill it with Thy grace."

Martin Luther prayed thus on the night preceding his appearance before the Diet of Worms: "Do Thou, my God, stand by me against all the world's wisdom and reason. Oh, do it, Thou must do it. Stand by me, Thou true, eternal God!"

"Praying Hyde," a missionary in India, pleaded, "Father, give me these souls, or I die."

Mrs. Comstock, a missionary in India, uttered this prayer of parting when she sent her children home: "Lord Jesus, I do this for Thee."

How do you pray for Missions?

In an eyewitness report of the great Welsh revival of 1904, G. Campbell Morgan wrote, “The horses are terribly puzzled. A manager said to me. ‘The haulers are some of the very lowest. They have driven their horses by obscenity and kicks. Now they can hardly persuade the horses to start working, because there is no obscenity and no kicks.’” - D.J.D.

Children today average 17 hours a week with Mom and Dad—40 percent less time than children spent with their parents in 1965. And they spend more than 25 hours a week watching television.

Keep your shoulder to the wheel

Your hand to the helm

Your eye on the ball!

Your nose to the grindstone

Your ear to the ground

And you will not have time to

Put your foot in your mouth.

Preheat oven; get out utensils and ingredients.

Remove blocks and toy autos from table.

Grease pan, crack nuts.

Measure two cups of flour, remove baby’s hands from flour, wash flour off baby, remeasure flour.

Put flour, baking power, and salt in sifter.

Get dustpan and brush up pieces of bowl baby knocked on the floor.

Get another bowl

Answer doorbell

Return to kitchen, remove baby’s hands from bowl.

Wash baby.

Answer phone.

Return.

Remove one-fourth inch salt from greased pan.

Look for baby.

Grease another pan.

Answer telephone.

Return to kitchen and find baby. Remove his hands from bowl.

Take up greased pan and find layer of nutshells in it.

Head for baby, who flees, knocking bowl off table.

Wash kitchen floor, table, walls, dishes.

Call baker. Lie down.

A government official in India who was engaged in irrigation work came to the owner of a field and offered to make it fruitful, to which the owner answered, "You needn't attempt to do anything with my field; it is barren and will produce nothing." The official replied, "I can make your field richly fruitful if only it lies low enough." He meant that a lowland would be much easier to irrigate than higher ground. If you and I are willing to accept God's estimate of us as revealed in Scripture-as fallible, weak, and unfruitful apart from His enabling grace in Christ-He can fill us with the living water that will bring forth fruit. One of the last messages of a great philanthropist was, "Tell my younger brethren that they may be too big for God to use them, but they cannot be too small."

From an unknown source comes an article titled, “How To Be Miserable.” It says, “Think about yourself. Talk about yourself. Use ‘I’ as often as possible. Mirror yourself continually in the opinion of others. Listen greedily to what people say about you. Expect to be appreciated. Be suspicious. Be jealous and envious. Be sensitive to slights. Never forgive a criticism. Trust nobody but yourself. Insist on consideration and respect. Demand agreement with your own views on everything. Sulk if people are not grateful to you for favors shown them. Never forget a service you have rendered. Shirk your duties if you can. Do as little as possible for others.”

Use "I" as often as possible.

Always be sensitive to slights.

Be jealous and envious.

Think only about yourself.

Talk only about yourself.

Trust no one.

Never forget a criticism.

Always expect to be appreciated.

Be suspicious.

Listen greedily to what others say about you.

Look for faults in others.

Shirk your duties if you can.

Do as little as possible for others.

Never forget a service you may have rendered.

Sulk if people are not grateful for your favors.

Insist on consideration and respect.

Demand agreement with your own views on everything.

Always look for a good time.

Love yourself first.

Be selfish at all times!

Perhaps you heard about the husband who lacked tact. Early one morning his wife left for a trip abroad...and that very day their poodle died. When she called home that evening, she asked how everything was—and he bluntly blurted out, “Well, the dog died!” Shocked, she chided him through tears for being so tactless, so strong.

“What should I have said?” he asked.

“You should’ve broken the news gently, perhaps in stages. When I called you from here in New York, you could have said, ‘The dog is on the roof.’ And the next day when I called you from London, ‘He fell off the roof.’ The following day from Paris, you could have told me, ‘He is at the vet’s...in the hospital.’ And finally, from Rome, I could have then been informed, ‘He died.’”

The husband paused and thought about the advice. His wife then asked, “By the way, how is mother?”

He responded, “She’s on the roof!”

1. It will never work,

2. We’ve never done it that way before.

3. We’re doing fine without it.

4. We can’t afford it.

5. We’re not ready for it.

6. It’s not our responsibility.

An old woodsman gives this advice about catching a porcupine: “Watch for the slapping tail as you dash in and drop a large washtub over him. The washtub will give you something to sit on while you ponder your next move.”

Get plenty of rest; troubles often look smaller as you get

closer; distinguish between those parts of life you can

control and those you can’t; check your goals—are you

worrying about unrealistic ambitions? Depend on God.

cf. Happiness is a Choice, p. 171

1. Catch yourself in some amusing inconsistency and then laugh at yourself. This is the foundation of a healthy sense of humor.

2. Note the inappropriate or funny things people say or do in public, and draw parallels between those silly behaviors and your own. Positive humor goes beyond mere criticism to a recognition of our common plight as less-than-perfect human beings.

3. Include in your regular reading diet published collections of wit and humor, humor columnists, comic strips, and stories by writers with a well-developed sense of humor.

4. Occasionally do something harmlessly absurd and totally out of character for your spontaneous entertainment.

5. Avoid sarcasm, ridicule, and excessive teasing. They hurt rather than heal.

A young man went into a church and started praying. He was so anxious to find God's will for his life that he took a piece of paper and wrote down all the things that he was going to do for God. Then he started to pray that God might reveal to him whether these promises were acceptable to Him.

"This is not the way I want you to find My will. All I want of you is for you to sign your name and leave the paper blank for Me to fill."

Not long ago a well-meaning group of laymen came from a neighboring church to se me. They wanted me to advise them on some convenient and painless method of getting rid of their pastor. I’m afraid, however, that I wasn’t much help to them. At the time I had not had the occasion to give the matter serious thought. But since then I have pondered the matter a great deal, and the next time anyone comes for advice on how to get rid of a pastor, here’s what I’ll tell him:

1. Look the pastor straight in the eye while he’s preaching and say “Amen” once in a while and he’ll preach himself to death.

2. Pat him on the back and brag on is good points and he’ll probably work himself to death.

3. Rededicate your life to Christ and ask the preacher for some job to do, preferably some lost person you could win to Christ, and he’ll die of heart failure.

4. Get the church to unite in prayer for the preacher and he’ll soon become so effective that some larger church will take him off your hands.

Criticism is always difficult to accept, but if we receive it with humility and a desire to improve our character it can be very helpful. Only a fool does not profit when he is rebuked for his mistakes.

Several years ago I read a helpful article on this subject. It stated that when we are criticized we ought to ask ourselves whether the criticism contains any truth. If it does, we should learn from it, even when it is not given with the right motivation and in the right spirit. The article then offered these four suggestions:

(1) Commit the matter instantly to God, asking Him to remove all resentment or counter-criticism on your part and teach you the needed lessons.

(2) Remember that we are all great sinners and that the one who has criticized us does not begin to know the worst about us.

(3) If you have made a mistake or committed a sin, humbly and frankly confess it to God and to anyone you may have injured.

(4) Be willing to learn afresh that you are not infallible and that you need God’s grace and wisdom every moment of the day to keep on the straight path.

When we are criticized, let’s accept what is true and act upon it, thereby becoming a stronger person.

I’m just a plow hand from Arkansas, but I have learned how to hold a team together. How to lift some men up, how to calm down others, until finally they’ve got one heartbeat together, a team. There’s just three things I’d ever say:

If anything goes bad, I did it.

If anything goes semi-good, then we did it.

If anything goes real good, then you did it.

That’s all it takes to get people to win football games for you.

In some of the outlying areas of British Columbia, Canada, farmers have been plagued with wolves killing their livestock. Meetings have been held with farmers, environmentalists and concerned citizens in a move to solve the problem. The majority of the local people favored shooting or poisoning the marauding wolves.

At one meeting a woman strode to the microphone, listed her impressive credentials and explained her solution. “Vasectomy is the answer,” she thundered. “Simply trap the wolves humanely, neuter the males and release them.”

One grizzled old sheep farmer rose to his feet. “Ma’am,” he said in a gruff voice, “no disrespect meant, you bein’ an expert, but them wolves is killin’ my sheep, not makin’ love to ‘em.”

1. Watch him drive in heavy traffic.

2. Play tennis with him.

3. Listen to him talk to his mother when he doesn’t know you’re listening.

4. See how he treats those who serve him (waiters, maids).

5. Notice what he’s willing to spend his money to buy.

6. Look at his friends. And if you still can’t make up your mind, then look at his shoes. A man who keeps his shoes in good repair generally tends to the rest of his life too.

Everything hurts! and what doesn’t hurt, doesn’t work!

You feel like the night before, and you haven’t been anywhere!

You sit in a rocking chair and you can’t get it going!

Your knees buckle and your belt won’t!

Dialing long distance wears you out!

Your fortune teller offers to read your face!

The little gray haired lady you help across the street is your wife!

You sink your teeth into a steak, and they stay there!

You wake up in the morning and your water bed has sprung a leak, and you realize you don’t have a water bed!

When you watch a pretty girl go by, your pace-maker makes the garage door go up!

When you know all the answers, and no one asks you the questions!

When you decide to procrastinate, but never get around to it!

Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your Savior? Are your sins forgiven? Does God’s Spirit bear witness with your spirit that you have passed from death unto life (Rom. 8:16)? Have you been born again, and do you really want to live for God? If so, there are five things I would ask you to do:

First, be sure of your own salvation.

How can you know you are saved? By God’s Word. The blood makes you safe, and the Word makes you sure. “These things have I written unto you...that ye may KNOW that ye have eternal life (1 John 5:13).

“Him that cometh to me I will in no wise cast out” (John 6:37). Have you come to Him? Then where are you, out or in? He says He won’t cast you out. Then He must have taken you in. You see, it depends on God’s Word not on your feelings. Believe what God says.

Second, take a public stand for Christ.

Don’t try to be a secret believer, for it won’t work. Confess Christ at every opportunity. “Whosoever therefore shall be ashamed of me and of my words...of him also shall the Son of man be ashamed” (Mark 8:38). If you want to grow rapidly, confess Him openly.

Third, turn from all you know to be wrong.

He gives you a new nature, a nature that loves righteousness and hates iniquity. You can now overcome. “Sin shall not have dominion over you” (Rom. 6:14). But you must choose righteousness and forsake sin. Turn your back on it. Put it away. “Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body” (Rom. 6:12). Come clean. Be through with sin.

Fourth, spend much time in Bible study and prayer.

The more you read the Bible the more you will want to read it. If you want to grow in grace, meet God every day. Have a place and time for prayer and Bible study. Be a Bible Christian. Never let a day pass without spending time alone with God. “As newborn babes, desire the sincere milk of the word, that ye may grow thereby” (1 Peter 2:2).

Fifth, keep busy in God’s service.

Satan always finds mischief for idle hands to do. Therefore find something to do. Give out gospel tracts. Get into a soul-winning church. Sing in the choir. Help in the young people’s work. Attend the prayer meeting. Put first things first. God to church where people are being converted and where the message is, “Ye must be born again.” If you follow these simple steps, you will be a bright and happy Christian, God will use you in His service, and you will be a blessing wherever you go.

- Oswald J. Smith

Christ's basic law for harmonious co-existence with others is found in Luk_6:31: "As ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise." Matthew states it this way: "All things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even to them: for this is the law and the prophets" (Mat_7:12). It is said that the Roman Emperor Severus was so enchanted by this law when he heard it for the first time that he appointed a reader to repeat it aloud every time someone came before him for judgment. He also ordered it to be written in large letters in the most frequented rooms of the palace and in many public buildings. Though an idolater, the Emperor honored Christ as the One who had told them how to live justly, and he was even disposed to include Christ among the gods.

For several years a lawyer and a doctor had regularly played golf together. They were evenly matched, and there was a keen sense of rivalry. Then one spring the lawyer’s game suddenly improved so much that the doctor was losing regularly. The doctor’s efforts to improve his own game were unsuccessful, but finally he came up with an idea. At a bookstore he picked out three how-to-play golf texts, and sent them to the lawyer for a birthday present.

It wasn’t long before they were evenly matched again.

Be careful in your selection.

Once selected, give your entire thoughts to preparation for domestic use.

Some wives insist upon keeping them in a pickle, others are constantly getting them into hot water. This makes them sour, hard, and sometimes bitter. Even poor varieties may be made sweet, tender and good, by garnishing them with kisses, wrapping them in a blanket of love, keeping them warm with a steady fire of domestic devotion, and serving with peaches and cream.

Thus prepared they will keep for years!!

How you enlist a person will determine how that person serves. Therefore eliminate three things:

1. Public announcements saying we need workers

2. Last minute appointments

3. Pressure tactics

Establish a personnel committee:

1. The Plan: Match people with jobs.

2. The Purpose: One job/ministry per individual, and throw everything he/she has into that one job.

3. The Procedure: One on one. Enlistment is always done one on one. Set up an appointment to approach an individual, and go over: (a) the challenge of the job, “Your job is the most important one in this whole church.” People respond to a challenge. Remember, Jesus sent many people home. (b) The cultivation of the job, “We expect much of you (implies that there are written standards) and you can expect much of us.” (c) The commitment to the job, “Don’t tell us yes until you’ve told God yes. Don’t tell us no until you’ve told God no.” Don’t ask people to do you a favor and accept. They do it for the Lord Jesus.

How do top corporate executives relieve stress? A recent survey by a temporary-help agency yielded several surprising results. One way is by throwing plates against the wall! Other unusual methods for venting anger and frustration included singing opera while being kept on hold on the telephone, fiddling with children’s “Silly Putty” during meetings, and playing hockey in the company parking lot.

Dr. Bonar once said that he could tell when a Christian was growing. In proportion to his growth in grace he would elevate his Maker, talk less of what he himself was doing, and become smaller and smaller in his own esteem, until, like the morning star, he faded way before the rising sun.

Serve in sincerity and truth

Joshua 24:14

Sincerity of purpose

Col. 3:24

Perfectness of walk

Thess. 1:9

Unblemished life

Acts 26:7

Thoroughness

Rom. 12:1

Uprightness of heart

Rom. 12:2

Undefiled conduct

Luke 1:17

Soundness of motive

Rom. 7:6

Wholeness of being

Heb. 12:28

Someone said to Bishop Talleyrand, one of the most astute men who ever lived: "The Christian religion-what is it? It would be easy to start a religion like that."

"Oh, yes," replied Talleyrand. "One would only have to get crucified and rise again the third day."