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A conference at a Presbyterian church in Omaha. People were given helium-filled balloons and told to release them at some point in the service when they felt like expressing the joy in their hearts. Since they were Presbyterians, they weren’t free to say “Hallelujah, Praise the Lord.” All through the service balloons ascended, but when it was over 1/3 of the balloons were unreleased.…

Baltimore Orioles Manager

In How Life Imitates the World Series, Dave Bosewell tells a story about Earl Weaver, former manager of the Baltimore Orioles. Sports fans will enjoy how he handled star Reggie Jackson.

Weaver had a rule that no one could steal a base unless given the steal sign. This upset Jackson because he felt he knew the pitchers and catchers well enough to judge who he could and could not steal off of. So…


When we think of creativity, we tend to picture a composer or an artist at work on a masterpiece. But creativity is simply a new approach to anything.

Earle Dickson, an employee of Johnson & Johnson, married a young woman who was accident-prone. Johnson & Johnson sold large surgical dressings in individual packages, but these were not practical for small cuts and burns. Dickson put a small…

Bandaids on the Bathroom Mirror

The drunk husband snuck up the stairs quietly. He looked in the bathroom mirror and bandaged the bumps and bruises he’d received in a fight earlier that night. He then proceeded to climb into bed, smiling at the thought that he’d pulled one over on his wife.

When morning came, he opened his eyes and there stood his wife. “You were drunk last night weren’t you!”


Banding Together

Many of you remember the old Lawrence Welk Show and maybe you know that Lawrence Welk himself didn’t have the best command of the English language, often mixing metaphors or confusing common sayings. One of his sound mixers compiled the following list of mis-statements from Lawrence Welk:

“There are good days and there are bad days, and this is one of them.”

Introducing a guest performer: “His…

Bands of Thieves

A former police officer tells of the tactics of roving bands of thieves: “They enter the store as a group. One or two separate themselves from the group, and the others start a loud commotion in another section of the store. This grabs the attention of the clerks and customers. As all eyes are turned to the disturbance, the accomplices fill their pockets with merchandise and cash, leaving before…

Bank Named TIME

Imagine that a bank credits your account each morning with $86,400. No balance is carried over from day to day. Any balance is deleted each evening. What would you do when you knew that you would not use all your daily balance? Why, withdraw every farthing, of course!!!!!!

You have such a bank and so have I. The name of our bank is TIME. Every day we are credited with 86,400 seconds. Every…

Bank Robbers

Some mistakenly think that they are free to sin, just so long as they aren’t hypocrites about it; that the worst form of sin is hypocrisy. Often one hears it said, “I know I’m not perfect, but at least I’m not hypocritical about it.”

A few years ago in Texas there were two men who robbed a bank. One wore a ski mask and the other did not. They both were captured and ultimately…

Bankrupt Faith

George Bernard Shaw is perhaps most renowned as a free thinker and liberal philosopher. In his last writings we read, “The science to which I pinned my faith is bankrupt. Its counsels, which should have established the millennium, led, instead, directly to the suicide of Europe. I believed them once. In their name I helped to destroy the faith of millions of worshippers in the temples of a thousand…

Baptism Identifies the Believer

Jesus says to identify new believers with God through baptism. Baptism in the Bible is used to mean identification (1Co 10:1-2; Rom 6:3-4). The relationship between water baptism and spiritual baptism is similar to the relationship of a wedding to a wedding ring. The ring doesn't marry you, but it clearly identifies the wearer as one who is married. The ring identifies one who has made a total, lifelong…

Lectionary Calendar
Sunday, September 15th, 2019
the Week of Proper 19 / Ordinary 24
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