Pastoral Resources

There's the great line: the definition of a liberal is someone who's afraid to take their own side in a fight. And that's my problem with my fellow liberals.

Liberals say we should end employment discrimination. I say we should end employment.

Liberals in Congress have spent the past three decades pandering to environmental extremists. The policies they have put in place are in large part responsible for the energy crunch we are seeing today. We have not built a refinery in this country for 30 years.

You Liberals think that goats are just sheep from broken homes.

Let's leave behind the predictable and stale debate between liberals and conservatives. Let's take the resources that we have, and prioritize, and manage, and focus our energy on just doing things that count - on real results.

The liberals can understand everything but people who don't understand them.

Liberals, it has been said, are generous with other peoples' money, except when it comes to questions of national survival when they prefer to be generous with other people's freedom and security.

Liberals claim to want to give a hearing to other views, but then are shocked and offended to discover that there are other views.

The liberals are fighting so hard whenever President Bush appoints any federal judges.

Liberals believe they own the franchise on minorities and can't stand any Hispanic or black who breaks rank.

The liberals in the House strongly resemble liberals I have known through the last two decades in the civil rights conflict. When it comes time to show on which side they will be counted, they excuse themselves.

Conservatives truly love America and support the armed forces, while liberals are unpatriotic draft dodgers.

Liberals become indignant when you question their patriotism, but simultaneously work overtime to give terrorists a cushion for the next attack and laugh at dumb Americans who love their country and hate the enemy.

Whether they are defending the Soviet Union or bleating for Saddam Hussein, liberals are always against America. They are either traitors or idiots, and on the matter of America's self-preservation, the difference is irrelevant.

Political debate with liberals is basically impossible in America today because liberals are calling names while conservatives are trying to make arguments.

Usually the nonsense liberals spout is kind of cute, but in wartime their instinctive idiocy is life-threatening.

We've finally given liberals a war against fundamentalism, and they don't want to fight it. They would, except it would put them on the same side as the United States.

Liberals are stalwart defenders of civil liberties - provided we're only talking about criminals.

While the form of treachery varies slightly from case to case, liberals always manage to take the position that most undermines American security.

Democrats couldn't care less if people in Indiana hate them. But if Europeans curl their lips, liberals can't look at themselves in the mirror.