Pastoral Resources

Talking to my wife, we stare at each other, saying, 'How is this happening? Why is this happening? Why now?' It's nothing I ever aspired to.

I find you write with one person in mind. Usually for me that one person is my wife, because she's my most severe critic and understands best what I'm trying to do.

I don't think my wife likes me very much, when I had a heart attack she wrote for an ambulance.

I have often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming.

A woman should say: 'Have I made him happy? Is he satisfied? Does he love me more than he loved me before? Is he likely to go to bed with another woman?' If he does, then it's the wife's fault because she is not trying to make him happy.

Don't eat me. I have a wife and kids. Eat them.

My wife - to-be and I went to see my father. Only he could answer the two questions before us: Shall we get married now? Shall I begin the practice of law, or continue being the successful wine salesman I had become, working my way through law school?

I was surprised that my wife thought it was a good idea, then again with my agent, another woman, then my editor, another woman - in spite of the fact that all three of them reacted positively I still have this fear.

I will give you three days to seek your shadow. Return to me in the course of that time with a well-fitted shadow, and you shall receive a hearty welcome; otherwise, on the fourth day - remember, on the fourth day - my daughter becomes the wife of another.

Test a servant while in the discharge of his duty, a relative in difficulty, a friend in adversity, and a wife in misfortune.

A good wife is one who serves her husband in the morning like a mother does, loves him in the day like a sister does and pleases him like a prostitute in the night.

There's nothing like a good cheating song to make me want to run home to be with my wife.

A man's home is his wife's castle.

Women desire six things: They want their husbands to be brave, wise, rich, generous, obedient to wife, and lively in bed.

Medicine is my lawful wife and literature my mistress; when I get tired of one, I spend the night with the other.

I promise to be an excellent husband, but give me a wife who, like the moon, will not appear every day in my sky.

If ever a man and his wife, or a man and his mistress, who pass nights as well as days together, absolutely lay aside all good breeding, their intimacy will soon degenerate into a coarse familiarity, infallibly productive of contempt or disgust.

The only solid and lasting peace between a man and his wife is, doubtless, a separation.

Despite the demands of this job, one of the things my wife and I try to do is to spend time together alone. And one of the things we really enjoy doing together is seeing a good movie.

My most brilliant achievement was my ability to be able to persuade my wife to marry me.