Lectionary Calendar
Thursday, June 13th, 2024
the Week of Proper 5 / Ordinary 10
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Read the Bible

Simplified Cowboy Version

1 Thessalonians 5

1 Now amigos, I know you're wondering when this is all gonna happen. 2 But believe it or not, you know when it will happen. It'll happen when you least expect it. 3 When everyone is complacent and content with the ways of this sorry world, the fires of the prescribed burn will be lit. And just like a pregnant woman can't stop the birth, neither will the scoffers be able to escape the fire.

4 But you cowboys and cowgirls won't be caught flat footed when the fire is lit. Y'all will be ready and waiting. 5 You are children of the light, not the darkness. Only those in darkness will be destroyed. 6 Don't be like those who will be surprised by the Lord's return. Be ready, with both feet in the stirrups and ready to ride. 7 Those who are lazy won't be ready. Those who are drunk won't be able to catch their horse. It'll be too late for them. 8 Since we live in the light, be ready at all times to whip and spur for heaven's hills. Faith and hope will be our chaps and the hope of being saved is the hat we wear on our head for protection. 9 Our destiny is not for destruction in the prescribed burn, but for the endless water and grass of heaven's salvation which is Jesus Christ. 10 Christ died so he could throw open the gates of heaven so all his cowboys could ride in. Not just those who have rode over the final hill, but those who are still riding as well. One day, we'll be riding together with him. 11 Encourage each other and give each other a hand, just like you've been doing.

A Final Word

12 We ask that all y'all give respect to all those who have taught y'all how to ride for the Lord. Sometimes they encouraged you and sometimes they might have had to get on to you. 13 Hold them in regard for their work. Do this by avoiding petty squabbles over unimportant things. 14 We urge you to light a fire under the lazy and deal with the troublemakers. Encourage those who are trying to give up and give a leg up to those who have lost their strength. And above all, be patient with everyone. 15 Don't seek revenge on those who have wronged you, but use every last breath you have to treat everyone else in a manner that will make God smile.

16 Keep your chins up, 17 don't quit talking to God, 18 and be thankful for the hills and valleys of life; for this is what God wants from you. And the only way to accomplish any of this is through your personal ride with Christ.

19 Don't be a wet blanket for the fire God lit inside of you through the Holy Ghost. 20 If someone says they have a word from God, don't dismiss it without testing it. 21 But at the same time, don't be gullible. If it's right, tie hard and fast to it. 22 If it's wrong, pop your dallies and ride off.

23 Let the Lord of peace rule your ride and make you blameless for when Jesus rides back over the hill. 24 The one who's called you to ride for him is faithful and never goes back on any promise he's made.

25 Please remember to pray for us. 26 Greet every one of God's cowboys with a hearty handshake. 27 God told me tell y'all to read this letter to every cowboy and cowgirl who rides for his brand.

28 May the grace of God, who is our Lord Jesus Christ, guide you always in your ride.

 
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