Lectionary Calendar
Saturday, June 1st, 2024
the Week of Proper 3 / Ordinary 8
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Read the Bible

Simplified Cowboy Version

Acts 21

1 We watched the range bosses from Ephesus ride away and then boarded a ship for Kos. We went from there to Rhodes and then on to Patara. 2 We switched ships there and then went to Phoenicia. 3 We passed to the south of Cyprus and continued on to Syria. We unloaded at Tyre 4 and found some cowboys who rode for the Lord. We stayed at their place for about a week. The Holy Spirit filled these cowboys in on what was going to happen to Paul. They pleaded with him not to go to Jerusalem. 5 When it was time to leave, these cowboys and their families followed us out of the city and then prayed with all of us. 6 We told them, "Adios," and then got on another ship.

7 It wasn't a long ride to Ptolemais. We stayed with some believers there for a day. 8 We reached Caesarea the following day and stayed with Philip the Evangelist, who was one of "the Seven." 9 He had four virgin daughters who also spoke the word of the Lord.

10 We stayed with Philip a few days and then a prophet named Agabus rode up from Judea. 11 He walked right up to Paul, took Paul's belt, and made a noose out of it while placing it over his head. With the leather noose around his neck, he said, "Listen to what the Holy Spirit has to say. 'This is the fate of the owner of this belt when he gets to Jerusalem. They are going to sort him out and hand him over to the mavericks.'"

12 When we heard this, we all began telling Paul not to go to Jerusalem. 13 Paul smiled and shook his head saying, "Why are y'all making this worse for me? I'm ready for whatever they dish out, even if it's death. It's not about what they can do to me. It's about what God will do through me that matters." 14 When it was clear Paul wouldn't change his mind, we gave in and said, "The Lord do with you as he will."

Paul Trots into Jerusalem

15 We packed up our gear and headed for Jerusalem then. 16 Some of the cowboys from Caesarea went with us and introduced us to a man named Mnason. He was originally from Cyprus and one of the first cowboys to ride for the Lord. 17 When we trotted into Jerusalem, the cowboys and cowgirls welcomed us warmly.

18 After a good night's rest, we went the next day with Paul to meet with James and all the other range bosses at the church in Jerusalem. 19 After handshakes and pats on the shoulder, Paul told them his tale of the things that had happened among the mavericks.

20 After listening to his story, they said, "It's been the same here, too. Thousands of Jews now believe in Jesus, but they still hold tight to the code of Moses. 21 Rumors are spreading, Paul, that you are teaching the mavericks that they don't have to have their pickles clipped or follow any other of the Jewish customs. 22 What should we do? They will know soon enough you are here. And there's liable to be a squabble. 23 But listen to our plan and see if you like it. There are four men here who have completed a vow they made and now need to go get purified at the main church by getting their heads shaved. But these men don't have the money for it. 24 Join them, and then everyone will see you still hold to the Jewish laws. 25 But we still believe what we told the mavericks still applies to them—stay away from blood, animals sacrificed to idols, meat from strangled animals, and all forms of sexual perversions."

26 The next day, Paul and the four other cowboys went to the main church to be purified. Paul gave the church all the requirements and payments for the purification.

Paul Is Ambushed

27 The required seven days had nearly passed without incident until one day some Jews from the province of Asia saw Paul at the main church. They riled a bunch of folks up, and they went and ambushed Paul. As they grabbed him, 28 they yelled, "All men of Israel, help us! This is the cowboy who is telling the whole world to shun our ways and our code. He encourages people to turn from our ways and our customs. He even brings shame on the main church just by being here today! He has brought in mavericks to this holy place." 29 They said this because one time in Ephesus they saw him with a Gentile and had just assumed he had brought him to the main church.

30 All of Jerusalem looked like an anthill that had been stomped by a herd of Corriente cattle. Paul was walloped and drug out of the church. 31 They were just about to kill him when the commander of the Roman army in Jerusalem heard about a riot happening. 32 He immediately sent soldiers to find out what was going on. When the rioters saw the soldiers coming, they all stood very still.

33 The commander then arrested Paul and had him double chained. The commander asked the crowd who Paul was and why they were beating him. 34 A hundred different answers were shouted out, and it was clear most of the people had no idea who Paul was or why he was being beaten. So the commander ordered that Paul be taken to the garrison to be questioned. 35 As they were leaving, the mob rose up again and the soldiers had to lift Paul onto their shoulders to keep him from being killed. 36 The crowd followed in a bloodlust shouting, "String him up! String him up!"

Paul's Request to Speak

37 As Paul was about to be taken inside the garrison, he asked the commander, "May I talk to you for a second?"

"You can talk Greek?" the commander asked in surprise. 38 "Aren't you that Egyptian fellow who led a rebellion from out in the desert?"

39 "No, sir," said Paul. "I'm a Jew from the important city of Tarsus in Cilicia. Please give me just a moment to talk to all these folks." 40 The commander shrugged his shoulders and motioned for him to speak. Paul stood up and got everyone's attention. You could have heard a pin drop when Paul started speaking to them in their own language of Aramaic.

 
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