Lectionary Calendar
Thursday, June 13th, 2024
the Week of Proper 5 / Ordinary 10
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Simplified Cowboy Version

Acts 25

1 Festus had been in the country for three days and headed to Jerusalem. 2 When he got there, the main preachers and head honchos brought up the charges against Paul. 3 With silver tongues, they graciously asked that Paul be returned to them for a trial. Of course, they were still going to ambush him and kill him before any trial took place. 4 But Festus said, "Paul is in Caesarea. That's where I'm heading. 5 If you want a trial, bring your accusations there and I'll listen."

6 About a week and a half later, Festus arrived in Caesarea. The next day, he took his seat in the courtroom and ordered for Paul to be brought in. 7 When Paul was in place, the dog and pony show began again. The Jewish leaders made lots of accusations and had no evidence whatsoever.

8 When Paul was allowed to speak, he said, "I ain't wronged nobody, not the Jewish Code, not the main church, or the Roman Government."

9 Festus was trying to please the Jews when he said, "Then why don't you go back to Jerusalem and stand trial before them if you've done nothing wrong?"

10 Paul shook his head and said, "Absolutely not! This is the Roman court right here. You know good and well they have no evidence against me. I didn't hurt anyone. 11 If I deserve to be strung up, I wouldn't argue at all. I'd tell you if I'd done something wrong. But if I'm innocent, why send me to another trial. If you turn me over to these people, they will kill me. So, I invoke my Roman right! I appeal my case to Caesar himself!"

12 There was quite a commotion and Festus hunkered behind closed doors to talk to his advisors. Finally, he came out and said, "Then it's settled. You asked for Caesar? You'll get Caesar."

13 A few days later, King Agrippa stopped by with his sister Bernice to pay respects to the new Roman governor. 14 While they were there, Festus told him about his Paul problem. Festus said, "There's a cowboy I have locked up here. Felix left me to deal with him. 15 When I first got here, I went to Jerusalem. One of the first things that came up was this fellow, Paul. He'd sure put a burr underneath the saddle blanket of the church leaders. They pressed charges and asked me to have him strung up. 16 I told them Roman law doesn't put people to death without a trial. The two sides must have an opportunity to accuse and defend in the presence of each other. 17 When the plaintiffs arrived in Caesarea, I wasted no time in starting the trial. 18 But honestly, I was surprised. The accusations were nothing like I thought they'd be. 19 All the talk was about their religion and whether or not some cowboy named Jesus was alive like Paul said he was. 20 How're you supposed to investigate that? I asked Paul if he'd like to go back to Jerusalem and stand trial. 21 But Paul was adamant and asked that he appear before Caesar. So, I locked Paul back up until I could arrange to have him transferred to Rome."

22 Agrippa sat silent for a moment and then said, "Do you think I could hear Paul's story for myself?"

Festus said, "You bet. I'll send for him tomorrow."

Paul with Agrippa

23 The next day, Agrippa and Bernice strolled into the auditorium followed by military leaders and other prominent citizens. After they were seated, Festus sent for Paul. 24 Festus rose and said, "King Agrippa and all you fine people! I bring you the man that Jews from here to Jerusalem want strung up by his neck until he is dead. 25 It is my opinion that Paul has done nothing to warrant the death penalty. But Paul asked to bring his case before Caesar, and I will be sending him to Rome as soon as I can. 26 But the question is this, what am I supposed to tell the emperor? What charge am I supposed to bring that will be both the truth and one that won't make me look like an idiot for sending him all the way to Rome? So I let you hear his story, King Agrippa. Maybe after you hear it, you can tell me how to proceed. 27 I can't send him without a viable charge."

 
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