Lectionary Calendar
Saturday, June 1st, 2024
the Week of Proper 3 / Ordinary 8
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Read the Bible

Simplified Cowboy Version

Mark 13

Not a Stone Left Standing

1 As Jesus and his cowboys were leaving the church that day, one of 'em said, "Hey Boss, look at how big and pretty this building is. Isn't it impressive?"

2 Jesus replied, "You got that right. All these buildings are impressive, but not a single one will be left standing. They will all be knocked down."

About the End

3 Later that day, Jesus sat on Olive Hill, across from the main church. Peter, James, John, and Andy came to him and asked, 4 "When will all this stuff you've been talking about happen? Will you give us a whistle, or will there be a signal that the end of time is going to kick off?"

5 Jesus was adamant when he said, "Don't let anyone pull the wool over your eyes. 6 There will be many people claiming to be me, and a lot of people will believe them. 7 There will be wars and threats of wars, but y'all don't have to be afraid. Sure, these things will happen, but just because they happen doesn't mean the end is right around the corner. 8 Nations will go to war against other nations and there will be fighting all over the world. There will be earthquakes and droughts and people will starve, but these things are just the first sharp pain of the birth that will come later.

9 "When you see these things start to happen, be careful, but be ready also. You will be arrested in the towns and beaten right inside the churches. You will stand trial because you ride for me. This may sound bad, but it is a great opportunity for you to tell others about the free gift I give everyone who rides for me. 10 The good news about what I will do must be spread to everyone in the world. 11 But don't go to worrying about what you will say before you are arrested. When that time comes, God will put the right words in your mouth and the courage in your heart. It won't be you who is talking, it will be the Holy Spirit."

12 Jesus continued, "It's going to get so bad in the end that people will turn against the ones they love the most. They'll turn in their brothers, their kids, their parents, and anyone else for a little reward and these people will be killed because they ride for me. 13 If you ride for me, people are going to hate you and want you dead. But the cowboy who rides all the way to the end for me will be saved.

The Defecation of Desolation

14 "Be ready to hightail it for the hills when you see the Antichrist at the altar of the church. 15 When you see that, you don't even stop to put something in your saddlebags, you just jump on and go. 16 If you are gathering cattle and see it, don't go back for a change of clothes, just whip and spur out of there! 17 It'll be a real bad time for those who are nursing children. 18 Just pray that this hard time don't come in the winter when times are at their hardest. 19 I'm telling y'all, these times will be harder than any other time in history. 20 In fact, the times will be so hard that unless God intervenes, and he will, not a single follower of mine would survive. But for the sake of those who ride for me, God will step in and help.

21 "So if you see anyone who says, 'Look! There is Jesus,' or another says, 'I heard Jesus came back,' don't believe them. 22 There will be many counterfeits who will come and do things that will amaze people. Some who ride for me will be deceived, too. 23 So y'all better watch out. I'm giving you a heads up about these things ahead of time.

God's Top Hand Will Come Ridin'

24 "In the days that follow these hard times, 'The sun will go out and the moon will lose its light. 25 The stars will fall from the skies and the great power in the universe will be shaken.' 26 Then everyone will see the Top Hand riding through the clouds with a power so awesome that it will be undeniable. 27 God's Chosen One, his Son, the Top Hand, will send his angels out to gather all his cowboys and cowgirls who ride for his brand and gather them together from the furthest parts of the earth all the way to heaven. Not one will be left behind."

28 The cowboys sat in awe as he continued, "Learn a lesson from a simple tree. When the leaves start to bud out, you know that spring has arrived and summer is near. 29 In the same way, when you see all these things happening, you know that the Top Hand is riding out of the gate and coming for you. 30 I'm telling you the truth when I say that those who ride for me during that time, not all of them will die before all of this I've told you about happens. 31 The current heaven and the earth you see now will end, but my words will never prove untrue."

32 Jesus held up a cautionary hand, "But no one, and I mean no one—not the angels in heaven, or myself—knows the exact time when this will take place. Only God knows. 33 So keep a sharp lookout and whatever you do, be ready! I can't express enough the need to be ready to ride because you will not know when the time will come. 34 It's kind of like the wagon boss leaving the ranch and telling each of the cowboys what jobs they are supposed to do while he is gone. He even puts one cowboy at the gate to watch for his return. 35 I'm posting y'all at the gate to watch. You don't know if the wagon boss is coming back in the evening, or at noon, or before the rooster crows. 36 You don't want to be caught napping when he arrives. 37 Stay alert and watch like I've told you to do."

 
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