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Thursday, June 6th, 2024
the Week of Proper 4 / Ordinary 9
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Read the Bible

Simplified Cowboy Version

Mark 16

Jesus Rides Back from the Dead

1 When the day of rest was over, the women brought spices to embalm Jesus's body. 2 It was very early on Sunday morning and 3 they worried about how they were going to move the heavy stone that had been placed in front of the tomb. 4 But when they got to the tomb, the stone had already been rolled away.

5 They walked into the tomb to take care of Jesus's body, but all they saw was a man sitting to the right of where they had laid him. This shocked them and they didn't know what to do or what to say.

6 But the man said to them, "Whoa! Don't be scared ladies. You are looking for Jesus of Nazareth, but he ain't here. This is where his body was placed, but like I said, he ain't here. 7 Go tell Jesus's cowboys, especially Pete, that Jesus is heading for Galilee and said to meet him there."

8 The ladies hightailed it out of there, not just with a message, but they were scared to death also. They didn't say anything to anyone because they were so afraid.

9 After Jesus had been raised from the dead, he first appeared to Mary Magdalene, whom he'd cured of seven demons. 10 She ended up delivering the message to Jesus's cowboys that he was no longer in the tomb. 11 They were still very upset that he had died in the first place and when they heard what she said, they didn't believe a word of it.

12 Jesus also appeared later to a couple of cowboys who were traveling down the road. 13 They went and told Jesus's cowboys that they had seen him, but they didn't believe these two either.

14 Finally, Jesus appeared to the eleven remaining cowboys himself. He scolded them for not believing everyone who he had sent to tell them the good news of his riding back from the dead.

15 He told all of 'em, "Y'all get out there and go to every pasture and every place on earth and tell 'em the good news. Tell 'em I've opened the gate to God's outfit and no one ever has to depend on themselves to be perfect, but that I've done it for them. 16 All they have to do is devote their lives to riding for me and be baptized. Everyone who rides for me will get into heaven and those who don't, won't. 17 You'll be able to tell who is a cowboy on my Dad's outfit because they will drive out demons and speak in languages no one has heard before. 18 They will pick up snakes without being bitten and even have poison given to them without it killing 'em. They will place their hands on people and heal them."

19 After he got done giving them their final instructions, Jesus was whisked up to heaven where he was saddled up at the right hand of God himself.

20 The cowboys went and did exactly what Jesus told 'em to and Jesus was right there in spirit working with them. Everything happened just like Jesus said it would because many miraculous signs happened.

 
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