Verse-by-Verse Bible Commentary
Proverbs 19:18

Clarke's Commentary

Verse Proverbs 19:18. Let not thy soul spare for his crying. — This is a hard precept for a parent. Nothing affects the heart of a parent so much as a child's cries and tears. But it is better that the child may be caused to cry, when the correction may be healthful to his soul, than that the parent should cry afterwards, when the child is grown to man's estate, and his evil habits are sealed for life.

Bridgeway Bible Commentary

Lessons heeded and ignored (19:1-29)

Moral uprightness is more important than wealth, and wise action is more important than hasty action. People are foolish when they blame God for the trouble they bring upon themselves through their own mistakes (19:1-3).
Often the reason the rich have many friends is that these ‘friends’ hope to gain personally from their wealth or influence (4-6). The poor lose their friends, though in a sense they are rich if they maintain their understanding (7-8). People should behave in a way that befits their social status, though to misrepresent the truth is always wrong (9-10). If they are mature, they will not allow themselves to be easily offended and will know how to control their temper (11-12).
Stupidity, quarrelling, laziness and a lack of parental discipline will destroy family happiness. Wise, sympathetic, yet firm, dealings by the parents will build it (13-18). Bad tempered people never seem to learn, and as a result bring trouble upon themselves repeatedly (19-20).
God directs affairs in people’s lives, and desires from them reverent loyalty. He blesses the obedient, but not the lazy (21-24). Physical punishment is often the only method of correction that fools understand, but sensible people listen to rebukes and learn from them (25-29).

Coffman's Commentaries on the Bible

“Chasten thy son, seeing there is hope; And set not thy heart on his destruction.”

This passage stresses the value of parental discipline of children while there is still time to direct the child in the right way. One of the great sorrows of 20th Century America is the widespread neglect of this duty, the results of which threaten the total ruin of our civilization. “Proverbs 19:18 b (the second line) may set a limit to discipline”;Broadman Bible Commentary (Nashville: Broadman Press, 1971), op. cit., p. 62. and in keeping with that interpretation, we have this: “But be careful not to flog him to death.”The New English Bible. Even the New Testament strongly suggests that there is a limit beyond which discipline should not go. “Fathers, provoke not your children to wrath” (Ephesians 6:4). Harris, however interpreted Proverbs 19:18 b here thus; “Don’t avoid chastening and thus bring about thy son’s death.”Wycliffe Old Testament Commentary, p. 572.

Barnes' Notes on the Whole Bible

While there is hope - While he is still young, and capable of being reformed.

Crying - Better, as in the margin, Do not set thy soul on his destruction; words which either counsel forbearance in the act of chastisement (compare Ephesians 6:4; Colossians 3:21); or urge that a false clemency is a real cruelty. The latter sense is preferable. The father is warned that to forbear from chastising is virtually to expose the son who needs it to a far worse penalty.

Smith's Bible Commentary

Chapter 19

Better is the poor that walks in his integrity [or in honesty], than he that is perverse in his lips, and is a fool. Also, that the soul be without knowledge, it is not good; and he that hasteth with his feet sinneth. The foolishness of man perverteth his way: and his heart fretteth against the LORD. Wealth maketh many friends; but the poor is even separated from his neighbor ( Proverbs 19:1-4 ).

If you're rich, you have a lot of people coming around. But you really don't know. It would be hard to be rich and have all of the people hanging around, because you don't know if they're really your friends or not. What will happen in adversity? So you have all of this crazy problem of accepting people because I don't know, "What you really want? You know. Because I'm rich you're coming around. Do you really love me?" And so they have a hard time.

A false witness shall not be unpunished, and he that speaks lies shall not escape. Many will entreat the favor of the prince: and every man is a friend to him who gives gifts. All of the brethren of the poor do hate him: how much more do his friends go far from him? he pursues them with words, and yet they are wanting to him ( Proverbs 19:5-7 ).

The poor man.

He that gets wisdom loves his own soul: he that keeps understanding shall find good. A false witness shall not be unpunished ( Proverbs 19:8-9 ),

We had that one just a little bit ago in verse Proverbs 19:5 . But then the latter part is just a little different.

he that speaketh lies shall perish ( Proverbs 19:9 ).

Verse Proverbs 19:5 says, "Shall not escape." Very similar, though, proverbs.

Delight is not seemly for a fool; much less for a servant to have rule over princes ( Proverbs 19:10 ).

Oh man, the worst thing in the world is to give a little power to some people. They don't know how to handle it.

The discretion of a man deferreth his anger; and it is his glory to pass over a transgression ( Proverbs 19:11 ).

Much better just to say, "Oh, let it go." Just to pass over the transgressions.

The king's wrath is as a roaring of a lion; but his favor is as the dew on the grass. A foolish son is the calamity of his father: and the contentions of a wife are a continual dropping ( Proverbs 19:12-13 ).

That's like the Chinese torture trick, you know. Or you ever have a leaky faucet and you're trying to sleep at night and hear the ploop, ploop, ploop.

House and riches are the inheritance of fathers: and a prudent wife is from the LORD ( Proverbs 19:14 ).

Oh, isn't that neat? "He that finds a wife finds a good thing." A prudent wife is from the Lord. God is good to us.

Slothfulness [the laziness again] casteth into a deep sleep; and an idle soul shall suffer hunger. He that keeps the commandment keeps his own soul; but he that despises his ways shall die. Then he that has pity upon the poor is lending to the LORD; and that which he hath given will he pay him again ( Proverbs 19:15-17 ).

Now here's an interesting thing. As I told you, God takes up the cause of the poor. And if you have pity on the poor and give to them, then God will repay you. In other words, it's like loaning to God to give to the poor. That's how much takes up the cause. And God says, "I'll repay you." So it's a neat thing to give to the poor. You're lending to the Lord. I like to lend to the Lord. I think it's grand to be able to lend to God. How can I do that? By giving to the poor. You're lending to the Lord and the Lord will repay you. The Lord will pay you back. Try it.

Chasten your son while there is hope, and let not your soul spare for his crying ( Proverbs 19:18 ).

Now, kids learn very quickly to start wailing the minute you look at them, you know, so that you won't hit them so hard or you won't spank them so long, or whatever. And so they really, they catch on quick, you know. Really wail and scream. Even when you miss them, you know, because they're already conditioned for that. So go ahead and spank your son really while there is hope. Don't spare for his crying.

Now, of course, let me say there is reason, and surely the Bible does not advocate child abuse. And there, in these days in which we live, is so much child abuse. It's terrible. To abuse a child has to be one of the worst things that a person could do. A little child that is so helpless, can't defend himself. I think that we need to be extremely careful in our punishment of a child. And I think that when we get to these kind of scriptures, surely we do not understand them to mean beating a child. Spanking a child, yes. But not beating a child. There's no value in that, ever.

A man of great wrath shall suffer punishment: for if you deliver him, you're just going to have to do it again ( Proverbs 19:19 ).

A guy with a hot temper, you know, you may get in and help him out, but man, you're just going to have to do it again.

Hear counsel, and receive instruction, that you may be wise in the latter end. There are many devices in man's heart; nevertheless the counsels of the LORD, they shall stand ( Proverbs 19:20-21 ).

In other words, you can't really fight against God or against God's Word. Now you may have all kinds of devices. You may be figuring out all kinds of schemes, but ultimately, you know, God's Word is going to stand. There is an old Greek saying, "The dice of the gods are loaded." That means you just can't go against God's Word and win. God has said certain things and you may scheme and device all you want. But the Word of the Lord is going to stand. And any time you try to go against the Word of God you're going to lose.

The desire of a man is his kindness: and a poor man is better than a liar. The fear of the LORD tends to life: and he that hath it shall abide satisfied; he will not be visited with evil ( Proverbs 19:22-23 ).

So the fear of the Lord, how important it is. Reverencing God. It just tends towards life. You'll be satisfied. Not be visited with evil.

The slothful man [again, the lazy man] he hides his hand in his bosom ( Proverbs 19:24 ),

And this is really lazy.

he won't even so much as bring it to his mouth ( Proverbs 19:24 ).

That's really lazy. When you get so lazy you're not going to feed yourself, you've had it.

Smite a scorner, and the simple will beware: and reprove one that hath understanding, and he will understand knowledge. He that wasteth his father, and chases away his mother, is a [rat, he's a] son that causes shame, and brings reproach. Cease, my son, to hear the instruction that causes to err from the words of knowledge. An ungodly witness scorns judgment: and the mouth of the wicked devours iniquity. Judgments are prepared for the scorners, and stripes for the backs of fools ( Proverbs 19:25-29 ). "

Dr. Constable's Expository Notes

If a parent does not discipline his child while there is hope of correcting him, he is really, though perhaps not consciously, willing for him to die. The child’s folly will lead to his death if his parents do not curb it with discipline. [Note: Whybray, The Book . . ., p. 110.] Some parents allow their children to go astray out of neglect. "Discipline" (Heb. yasser) includes chastisement as well as instruction.

"Better the child is corrected by a parent than by a law enforcement officer in a correctional institution." [Note: Wiersbe, p. 105.]

Gill's Exposition of the Whole Bible

Chasten thy son while there is hope,.... Of guiding and keeping him in the right way, as long as corrections are or can be hoped to be of use; while in a state of infancy, childhood, and youth; while under parental government; and before habits in sin are grown strong, and the case become desperate, and he is hardened, and proof against all instruction and discipline;

and let not thy soul spare for his crying; the noise he makes, the tears he sheds, the entreaties he uses to keep off the rod; let not a foolish pity and tenderness prevail to lay it aside on that account the consequence of which may be bad to parent and child; see

Proverbs 13:24. The Targum is,

"but unto his death do not lift up thy soul;''

or to the slaying of him t, as the Vulgate Latin version; and this sense Jarchi gives into: and then the meaning is, that though parents should be careful to give due correction to their children, so long as there is hope of doing them good, yet not in a brutal and barbarous manner, to the endangering of their lives: as some parents are too indolent, mild, and gentle, as Eli was; others are too wrathful and furious and use no moderation in their corrections, but unmercifully beat their children; such extremes ought to be avoided. Gersom interprets the word of crying, as we do.

t אל המיתו "ad interficiendum cum", Pagninus, Vatablus, Mercerus, Gejerus; "ad occidendum sum", Piscator, Cocceius, Tigurine version, Michaelis, Schultens, Gussetius, p. 534.

Henry's Complete Commentary on the Bible

      18 Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying.

      Parents are here cautioned against a foolish indulgence of their children that are untoward and viciously inclined, and that discover such an ill temper of mind as is not likely to be cured but by severity. 1. Do not say that it is all in good time to correct them; no, as soon as ever there appears a corrupt disposition in them check it immediately, before it gets head, and takes root, and is hardened into a habit: Chasten thy son while there is hope, for perhaps, if he be let alone awhile, he will be past hope, and a much greater chastening will not do that which now a less would effect. It is easiest plucking up weeds as soon as they spring up, and the bullock that is designed for the yoke should be betimes accustomed to it. 2. Do not say that it is a pity to correct them, and that, because they cry and beg to be forgiven, you cannot find in your heart to do it. If the point can be gained without correction, well and good; but if you find, as it often proves, that your forgiving them once, upon a dissembled repentance and promise of amendment, does but embolden them to offend again, especially if it be a thing that is in itself sinful (as lying, swearing, ribaldry, stealing, or the like), in such a case put on resolution, and let not thy soul spare for his crying. It is better that he should cry under thy rod than under the sword of the magistrate, or, which is more fearful, that of divine vengeance.