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Sermon Illustrations Archive

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No Mistake in Judgment

A young man who graduated from West Point said that so much tension and anxiety built up with regard to final examinations that the best scholar in his class fainted at the first question asked him. He felt that his standing in his chosen profession was at stake, that his future position depended on the manner in which he acquitted himself. If the loss or gain of a little worldly distinction could so move a man, what will be the feeling of the soul when it stands alone at the bar of God? West Point honors are but for the little moment of time here, but the results of this final examination are for eternity. There are often mistakes made in worldly judgment, but there will be no mistakes made at the judgment seat of Christ.

Anonymous
No Motor

Sometime back the Associated Press carried this dispatch: “Glasgow, Ky.—Leslie Puckett, after struggling to start his car, lifted the hood and discovered that someone had stolen the motor.”

Source unknown
No One Ever Asked Me

In St. Louis years ago, a Christian was transacting business with a lawyer. As the Christian businessman turned to go, he said, "I have often wanted to ask you a question, but I have been a coward."

"Why," replied the lawyer, "I did not think you were afraid of anything. What is the question?"

The businessman then asked the lawyer pointblank, "Sir, why are you not a Christian?"

The lawyer hung his head. "Is there not something in the Bible that says no drunkard shall have any part in the Kingdom of God. You know my weakness."

"You have not answered my question," answered the Christian. "I am asking why are you not a Christian."

"Well," answered the lawyer, "I cannot recall that anyone ever asked me such a question before. Of this I am sure-nobody ever told me how to become one." The Christian businessman then read passages from the Bible and suggested simply, "Let's get down and pray."

Kneeling, the lawyer prayed first: "O Lord, you know that I am a slave to drink. This morning this businessman, your servant, has shown me the way to Thee. Oh, God, break the power of this evil habit in my life." Later, the lawyer with the "besetting sin" testified that "God broke that power of drink instantly."

Do you know who that lawyer was? Dr. C. L. Scofield, famous editor of the Scofield Reference Bible!

Anonymous
No One Fears God

R.W. Dale, in his day Britain’s leading Congregationalist minister, did not believe in eternal punishment. Yet, before he died, Dale sighed and said, “No one fears God nowadays.”

The Wycliffe Handbook of Preaching & Preachers, W. Wiersbe, p. 188
No One In The Audience

Let’s accompany the British journalist David Pryce-Jones to Hereford Cathedral. While showing the cathedral to a pair of foreign guests, they stumbled upon a service in progress and were rebuked by the vicar. “Not a single worshipper, apart from the vicar, was present in that great nave,” writes Pryce-Jones “Evensong was taking place in a vacuum: NUNC DIMITTIS, indeed.”

Thinking And Acting Like A Christian, D. Bruce Lockerbie, p. 32
No One Listens

The story is told of Franklin Roosevelt, who often endured long receiving lines at the White House. He complained that no one really paid any attention to what was said. One day, during a reception, he decided to try an experiment. To each person who came down the line and shook his hand, he murmured, “I murdered my grandmother this morning.” The guests responded with phrases like, “Marvelous! Keep up the good work. We are proud of you. God bless you, sir.”

It was not till the end of the line, while greeting the ambassador from Bolivia, that his words were actually heard. Nonplussed, the ambassador leaned over and whispered, “I’m sure she had it coming.”

Source unknown
No Other Way

Once we have discovered any of the laws that govern the universe, we proclaim them with absolute certainty, and admit to no rival laws and theories. In school we don't find one teacher saying that two and two are four, and another that two and two are five. Once a physical law has been defined and established, we don't hold that any man's contrary claim is equally valid. The truth of physical phenomena render its laws exclusive. Yet the human mind often refuses to grant that this holds true regarding the laws of the spiritual realm. They prefer to accept the glib assumption that all roads in the religious world lead to God and heaven. The argument goes something like this: "There's only one God, and every religion is based on serving and following and worshiping that one God, by whatever name they call Him. After all, we're all children of one Heavenly Father." Strangely enough, even some who profess to follow the teachings of Jesus blandly ignore His unequivocal statement, "I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me" (Joh_14:6). Such words are totally unacceptable to non-Christians, and even some nominal Christians unthinkingly say that all religions are equally good and lead to God.

Anonymous
No Parental Control

The average young teenage American girl views 1,500 references to sexual acts on TV annually, according to a study at Michigan State University. Boys of that age view an average of nearly 1,300 such and attend 17 R-rated movies annually. According to the teens studied, parents “never” or “not often” limited their TV viewing. There’s little indication that parents exercise any control, positive or negative, over TV viewing.

Homemade, March, 1989
No Place Like Home

How can we forget some of the final lines in The Wizard of Oz when Dorothy keeps saying, "There's no place like home, there's no place like home." Most of us feel the same way. Man has always felt a fondness for that dwelling called home.

Adam and Eve were grieved when they were cast out of the garden of Eden-their home. Noah and his family listened as the waters covered their homeland. Moses left his homeland to follow the will of God for his life. Jesus found that a prophet was not without honor, except at home. The prodigal son knew that even as a servant, home was better than the pigpen.

We rejoice today as we round the corner to "our home." Whether it be a cardboard box in an alley, or a fine air-conditioned bastion of comfort in the stifling heat, we are glad to get home.

As temporary as the structures on earth are, our home in heaven will be permanent. God challenges us to live daily in preparation for that great eternal home that He is preparing for His children. It will be untouched by the elements of nature, unscarred by strife, pure, clean, and holy, and yes-IT WILL LAST FOR ETERNITY!

Do you feel as good about the home God is preparing for you as the one that may be gone tomorrow? If we anticipate that home with joy, how wonderfully we will live our lives today! May God bless us unto that end.

Anonymous
No Practical Use

Someone gave a sundial to a group of people in the jungle. They regarded it as a fetish and wanted to keep it holy, so they built a house over it to keep it safe. This of course, kept the sun away from it. They had rendered it useless by trying to protect it. They honored the sundial, but they made it of no practical use. That's how many people regard Christianity. It has become something they have enclosed within the beautiful walls and stained glass windows of cathedrals. But, far worse, they also wall off their Christianity from their own individual daily lives. They genuflect to a statue or kiss an icon of a saint, but they fail to follow the teachings of the people these symbolize.

Anonymous
No Progress

If we plant a tree, it begins to grow; if we set a post, it begins to decay. There was an old farmer who, in the prayer meetings of his church in describing his Christian experience, always said: "Well, I'm not making much progress, but I'm established." One spring when the farmer was setting out some logs, his wagon sank in the mud in a soft place in the road, and he could not get out. As he sat on top of the logs viewing the situation, a neighbor who had never accepted the principle of the old farmer's religious experience came along and greeted him: "Well, Brother Jones, I see you are not making much progress, but you're established."

Anonymous
No Rain!

An Indian had attended services one Sunday morning. The sermon which contained very little in the way of spiritual food had been rather loud in spots. The Indian, a good Christian, was not impressed. When asked how he liked the sermon, he said, "High wind, big thunder, no rain."

Anonymous
No Repentance, No Pardon

Caleb Young, in Kentucky, thought that a man in the state's prison who was serving a life term had been too heavily sentenced. Bringing influence to bear upon the governor, he obtained a pardon for the man. He went to the prison and had a talk with the man. He said to him, "If you were to be released from this place, what would you do?" The man vindictively replied, "I would go and shoot the judge that sentenced me, the lawyer that prosecuted me, and the witnesses that testified against me." Mr. Young said nothing to the man about the pardon. He went out of the prison and tore the pardon to pieces.

Anonymous
No Reserves—No Retreats—No Regrets

In 1904 William Borden, heir to the Borden Dairy Estate, graduated from a Chicago high school a millionaire. His parents gave him a trip around the world. Traveling through Asia, the Middle East, and Europe gave Borden a burden for the world’s hurting people. Writing home, he said, “I’m going to give my life to prepare for the mission field.” When he made this decision, he wrote in the back of his Bible two words: No Reserves. Turning down high paying job offers after graduation from Yale University, he entered two more words in his Bible: No Retreats. Completing studies at Princeton Seminary, Borden sailed for China to work with Muslims, stopping first at Egypt for some preparation. While there he was stricken with cerebral meningitis and died within a month. A waste, you say! Not in God’s plan. In his Bible underneath the words No Reserves and No Retreats, he had written the words No Regrets.

Our Daily Bread, December 31, 1988
No Respect

�I tell ya I get no respect from anyone. �I bought a cemetery plot.� The guy said, �There goes the neighborhood!��

�I could tell that my parents hated me. �My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.�

�My wife made me join a bridge club.� I jump off next Tuesday.�

�I come from a stupid family.� During the Civil War my great uncle fought for the West� (�He Had a Million of �Em� www.ChicagoTribune.com (10-6-04); submitted by Brian Larson, Arlington Heights, Illinois, preachingtoday.com).

Craig Brian Larson - Preachingtoday.com
No Responsibility

A young man applying for a job as usher in a theater was asked by the owner, "In case of fire, what would you do?" "Oh, don't be concerned about me," was the reply. "I'd be able to escape immediately." He did not even think of his responsibility toward others. Of course, he didn't get the job.

Anonymous
No Resurrection—No Hope

“All who believe in Christ have hope in Him; all who believe in Him as Redeemer hope for redemption and salvation by Him; but if there be no resurrection, their hope in Him must be limited to this life. And if all their hopes in Christ lie within the compass of this life, they are in a much worse condition than the rest of humanity, especially at that time and under those conditions in which the apostles wrote, for then they were hated and persecuted by all people.

“Preachers and believers therefore have a hard lot if in this life only they have hope in Christ. Better to be anything than a Christian under these terms! It is a gross absurdity in a Christian to admit the supposition of no resurrection or future state. It would leave no hope beyond this world, and would frequently make his condition the worst in the world.

“Indeed, the Christian is by his religion crucified to this world, and taught to live upon the hope of another. Carnal pleasures are tasteless to him in a great degree, and spiritual and heavenly pleasures are those which he pants after. How sad is his case indeed, if he must be dead to worldly pleasures and yet never hope for any better!”

- Matthew Henry

Source unknown
No Retribution

When Robert Southey was a small boy, he tells of another boy in his neighborhood by the name of Jim Dick. A number of children began tormenting Jim one evening, calling him names because of his racial origin. The poor little fellow was reduced to tears and slunk away. One day Southey wanted to go skating, but his skates were broken, and the only boy from whom he could borrow a pair was Jim Dick. "I went and asked him for them," said Southey. " 'Oh, yes, Robert, you may have them,' was his answer. When I went to return them, I found Jim sitting by the fire in the kitchen reading the Bible. I told him I had returned the skates and thanked him for letting me use them. He looked at me as he took his skates and with tears in his eyes, said, 'Robert, don't ever call me names again,' and immediately left the room. The words pierced my heart; I burst into tears, and from that time resolved never again to abuse a member of a minority group."

Anonymous
No Rights

We claim things as our right, sometimes, to which we have no right at all. In fact, we have no right to anything, and sometimes God impresses this upon us by taking things from us. Let us not be like the sick man to whom a benevolent gentleman had been giving a quart of milk a day. At last, the time came for this poor man to die, and of course the gift of milk was expected to come to an end. When he was gone, the gentleman called upon the widow. "I must tell you, sir," said she, "that my husband has made a will and has left the quart of milk to his brother!"

Anonymous
No Room for the Spirit

D. L. Moody said, “I believe firmly that the moment our hearts are emptied of pride and selfishness and ambition and everything that is contrary to God’s law, the Holy Spirit will fill every corner of our hearts. But if we are full of pride and conceit and ambition and the world, there is no room for the Spirit of God. We must be emptied before we can be filled.”

Source unknown
No Root, No Fruit

Have you ever wondered why you do what you do?

One former Navy pilot tells how he was living a wilder life than he knew he should live. He decided his problem was that he was being led astray by his friends in flight training. So he arranged to finish his work in the program early and be transferred to another field nearby. Yet, it wasn't long, he said, before he was back in the same old bars, with the same girls, just with different friends. One night out-on-the-town he wondered, "Why do I do this?" And he realized, "Because I like to."

Before a person becomes a Christian-I mean a real Christian, not just someone who says he is-his "want-to" is broken. He is not interested in God. He is bored by church and by reading his Bible. He cannot "make" himself "want to" do right and he cannot "make" himself "want not" to do wrong. When a person is born again, God repairs his "want-to." Even though he still feels the pull of temptation, he will have a new set of desires. He will love God and want to talk to God in prayer and see what God has to say to him in His Word, the Bible. He wants to be around other people who love God; church attendance becomes meaningful. There is a new desire to obey God.

Why do we do what we do? The answer is simple: we do what we do because of what we are. It's like fruit trees. Apple trees bear apples, pear trees produce pears, peach trees grow peaches. The fruit is the natural result of the nature of the tree. I suppose you could tie apples to a peach tree, but that would not make it an apple tree. In the same way, adding religious activities to one's schedule doesn't make one a Christian. Just as the fruit of the tree naturally flows from the nature of the tree, even so the attitudes, words, and actions of our lives reveal the true nature of ourselves.

Jesus said, "Even so, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit....Therefore, by their fruits you will know them" (Mat 7:17, Mat 7:20).

Anonymous
No Scar?

Hast thou no scar?

No hidden scar on foot, or side, or hand?

I hear thee sung as mighty in the land,

I hear them hail thy bright ascendant star,

Hast thou no scar?

Hast thou no wound?

Yet I was wounded by the archers, spent,

Leaned Me against a tree to die; and rent

By ravening wolves that compassed me, I swooned:

Hast thou no wound?

No wound? no scar?

Yet, as the Master shall the servant be,

And pierced are the feet that follow Me;

But thine are whole: can he have followed far

Who hath no wound nor scar?

- Amy Carmichael

From TOWARD JERUSALEM by Amy Carmichael. Used by permission of the publishers, Society for Promotion of Christian Knowledge, London.
No Schisms in the Body

The word "schism" is a transliteration from the Greek schisma, which literally means "a tear in a garment or a crack in a stone." A torn garment is useless; it fails to accomplish its purpose of covering the body. A cracked stone endangers the whole structure that rests upon it. Paul writes that no member of the body should behave in such a way as to render the whole body useless. The way to avoid such schism is for the members of the body to help each other, since they are capable of recognizing one another's strengths and weaknesses.

Anonymous
No Scoreboard

Super Bowl XVIII in Tampa, Florida, was billed as the ultimate game in the ultimate city. Several years ago, Duane Thomas, then playing with the Dallas Cowboys, was preparing for Super Bowl VI in New Orleans. “If it’s the ultimate game, how come they’re playing it again next year?”

The nice thing about football is that you have a scoreboard to show how you’ve done. In other things in life, you don’t. At least, not one you can see. - Chuck Noll (football coach)

Source unknown
No Short Cuts

There are no shortcuts when it comes to revival. The church desperately needs revival, but it is not going to come by quick and easy methods. Evan Roberts prayed for eleven years before the Welsh Revival broke out, and his ministry during that remarkable time broke him physically. More than one hundred thousand people were converted to Christ during that mighty awakening, but it was not the result of manufactured meetings (they were spontaneous) or manmade promotions. True revival goes deeper than that.

Warren Wiersbe, God Isn’t In a Hurry, (Baker Books; Grand Rapids, MI, 1994), p. 14
No Short Cuts For Revival

Finally, there are no shortcuts when it comes to revival. The church desperately needs revival, but it is not going to come by quick and easy methods. Evan Roberts prayed for eleven years before the Welsh Revival broke out, and his ministry during that remarkable time broke him physically. More than one hundred thousand people were converted to Christ during that mighty awakening, but it was not the result of manufactured meetings (they were spontaneous) or manmade promotions. True revival goes deeper than that.

Warren Wiersbe, God Isn’t In a Hurry, Baker Books; Grand Rapids, MI, 1994, p. 14
No Short-Cuts

When James A. Garfield was president of Hiram College, a man brought his son for entrance as a student, for whom he wished a shorter course than the regular. "The boy can never take all that in," said the father. "He wants to get through quicker. Can you arrange it for him?"

Mr. Garfield, a minister-educator said, "Oh, yes. He can take a short course; it all depends on what you want to make of him. When God wants to make an oak, He takes a hundred years, but he takes only two months to make a squash."

Many want instant spirituality-like instant coffee or potatoes! It doesn't come that way! There are no short courses! No short-cuts! No gimmicks! It takes time to grow! Growth is a sequence-an orderly arrangement! "For when for the time ye ought to be teachers, ye have need that one teach you again" was God's indictment of the Hebrew Christians (Heb 5:12-14).

Anonymous
No Spiritual Blind Spot

Cricketers talk a great deal about visual imperfection, for sooner or later the bowler finds the blind spot, the batsman misjudges the ball, and his sport comes to an end. The devil plays for the blind spot, and if there is such a defect in our spiritual vision, sooner or later it gets us into trouble. The blind spot in the natural eye is a necessary, unavoidable, physiological defect of which the brightest and most skillful athlete cannot rid himself. However, morally and religiously no part of our nature need be dark, and we may successfully defend ourselves in every assault. If for any subtle, selfish reason we harbor some bias of the mind, some prejudice that warps the judgment, some neglect of charity, some inertia that obstructs conviction, some deviation of aim, some deflection in action, we lay ourselves open to grievous losses and sorrows. "But if we walk in the light, as he [God] is in the light, we have fellowship one with another" (1Jo 1:7). If we don't have fellowship with other believers, there is a dark spot in our spiritual vision. But the Christian whose heart is full of light enjoys the company of those of like precious faith, "and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin." It is our privilege to walk in the full light, to have our whole soul instructed and illuminated.

Anonymous
No Stranger

“I am no stranger to books, but I have no acquaintance with men.”

William Godwin, in Bibliotheca Sacra, Vol. 119, p. 205.
No Substitute

A devout Frenchman was right when he said, "Beware of a religion which substitutes itself for everything-that makes monks. Seek a religion which penetrates everything-that makes Christians." Chlorophyll is essential to green trees. As it is acted upon by the sun, it purifies the dirty air, absorbing the carbon dioxide that poisons us. Just so, the action of the Holy Spirit is essential to the believer, to purify his spiritual life.

Anonymous
No Teeth

Writing in Moody Monthly, Carl Armerding recounted his experience of watching a wildcat in a zoo. “As I stood there,” he said, “an attendant entered the cage through a door on the opposite side. He had nothing in his hands but a broom. Carefully closing the door, he proceeded to sweep the floor of the cage.” He observed that the worker had no weapon to ward off an attack by the beast. In fact, when he got to the corner of the cage where the wildcat was lying, he poked the animal with the broom. The wildcat hissed at him and then lay down in another corner of the enclosure. Armerding remarked to the attendant, “You certainly are a brave man.” “No, I ain’t brave,” he replied as he continued to sweep. “Well, then that cat must be tame.” “No,” came the reply, “he ain’t tame.” “If you aren’t brave and the wildcat isn’t tame, then I can’t understand why he doesn’t attack you.” Armerding said the man chuckled, then replied with an air of confidence, “Mister, he’s old—and he ain’t got no teeth.”

Moody Monthly
No Thanks

Samuel Leibowitz, criminal lawyer and judge, saved 78 men from the electric chair.

Not one ever did bother to thank him.

Source unknown
No Time for Envy

Many Christians are like that person who, one day, looked extremely sad. One who knew him well said, "Either some great evil has happened to him, or some great good to another." It has been very aptly said, "The man who keeps busy helping the man below him will not have time to envy the man above him; and there may not be anyone above him."

Anonymous
No Time for Kicking

A horse can’t pull while kicking. This fact we merely mention.

And he can’t kick while pulling, Which is our chief contention.

Let’s imitate the good old horse And lead a life that’s fitting;

Just pull an honest load, and then There’ll be no time for kicking.

Bits and Pieces, May 1990, p. 7
No Time for Time-Outs

In football when the team faces a tough decision, the coach often calls for a time-out. In basketball when the press is on, the captain can call for a time-out. In soccer when the team is bushed, they can gain a few minutes respite with a time-out.

But life does not work that way. There is no way that we can stop the clock to think about our problems. We cannot save, store, or stretch time. We may use or we may abuse time, but the clock keeps on ticking-inexorably. We can only plan how to spend the time given to us.

Anonymous
No Time to Play

My precious boy with the golden hair

Came up one day beside my chair

And fell upon his bended knee

And said, “Oh, Mommy, please play with me!”

I said, “Not now, go on and play;

I’ve got so much to do today.”

He smiled through tears in eyes so blue

When I said, “We’ll play when I get through.”

But the chores lasted all through the day

And I never did find time to play.

When supper was over and dishes done,

I was much too tired for my little son.

I tucked him in and kissed his cheek

And watched my angel fall asleep.

As I tossed and turned upon my bed,

Those words kept ringing in my head,

“Not now, son, go on and play,

I’ve got so much to do today.”

I fell asleep and in a minute’s span,

My little boy is a full-grown man.

No toys are there to clutter the floor;

No dirty fingerprints on the door;

No snacks to fix; no tears to dry;

The rooms just echo my lonely sigh.

And now I’ve got the time to play;

But my precious boy is gone away.

I awoke myself with a pitiful scream

And realized it was just a dream

For across the room in his little bed,

Lay my curly-haired boy, the sleepy-head.

My work will wait ‘till another day

For now I must find some time to play.

- Dianna (Mrs. Joe) Neal

Source unknown
No Time to Pray

I got up early one morning

and rushed right into the day;

I had so much to accomplish

that I didn’t have time to pray.

Problems just tumbled about me,

and heavier came each task.

“Why doesn’t God help me?” I wondered.

He answered, “You didn’t ask.”

I wanted to see joy and beauty,

but the day toiled on, gray and bleak;

I wondered why God didn’t show me.

He said, “But you didn’t seek.”

I tried to come into God’s presence;

I used all my keys at the lock.

God gently and lovingly chided,

“My child, you didn’t knock.”

I woke up early this morning,

and paused before entering the day;

I had so much to accomplish

that I had to take time to pray.

Source unknown
No Tomb to Visit

In one of the villages of Northern India a missionary was preaching in a bazaar. As he closed, a Muslim gentleman came up and said, "You must admit we have one thing you have not, and it is better than anything you have."

The missionary smiled and said, "I should be pleased to hear what it is."

The Muslim said, "You know when we go to Mecca we at least find a coffin. But when you Christians go to Jerusalem, which is your Mecca, you find nothing but an empty grave."

But the missionary just smiled and said, "That is just the difference. Mohammed is dead; Mohammed is in the coffin. And false systems of religion and philosophy are in their coffins, but Jesus Christ, whose kingdom is to include all nations and kindreds and tribes, is not here; He is risen. And all power in heaven and on earth is given unto Him. That is our hope."

A living Christ! That is our hope. He is not dead, but alive forevermore.

Anonymous
No Town Hall Meeting

Forget about the concept of a town hall meeting to decide public policy. How about this instead?

In Ancient Greece, to prevent idiotic statesmen from passing idiotic laws upon the people, lawmakers were asked to introduce all new laws while standing on a platform with a rope around their neck. If the law passed, the rope was removed. If it failed, the platform was removed.

Quality Press, August, 1992
No Trespassing

In olden times gardens used to be enclosed. In Palestine every garden was enclosed by a wall-as was Gethsemane-or by a prickly hedge. "A garden inclosed is my sister, my spouse" (Son 4:12). To separate one's garden plot from the open field and shield it from harm was always the gardener's first care. Man in his sinful condition also shuts himself in. He discourages others from entering his property. He is afraid they will harm him. But Christ has commissioned His followers to plant the seed of the gospel and to water it in the hearts of men.

Anonymous
No Tresspassing!

STOP. I know you’re thinking about crossing this gate. What you should know is that if the Coyotes, Cactus, Mesquite, Heat, Dust or Rattlers don’t get you, I will.

No Trespassing sign seen in west Texas, with rancher’s name signed in blood red paint at bottom.
No Turning Back

When Julius Caesar landed on the shores of Britain with his Roman legions, he took a bold and decisive step to ensure the success of his military venture. Ordering his men to march to the edge of the Cliffs of Dover, he commanded them to look down at the water below. To their amazement, they saw every ship in which they had crossed the channel engulfed in flames. Caesar had deliberately cut off any possibility of retreat. Now that his soldiers were unable to return to the continent, there was nothing left for them to do but to advance and conquer! And that is exactly what they did.

Source unknown
Nobel Prize Winner

Dr. Harold C. Urey, Nobel prize winner in Chemistry, was walking along a sidewalk one day when he ran into another professor. They chatted for a few minutes, then, as they parted, Dr. Urey asked the other: “John, which way was I going when I met you?”

“That way,” said the other, pointing. “Oh, good. That means I’ve already had my lunch,” muttered the professor as he walked away.

Bits and Pieces, August, 1989
Nobody Can Wear Two Pairs of Shoes at Once

Over the past 15 years, a New Jersey businessman has anonymously given away more than $600 million to universities, medical centers, and other beneficiaries. When a legal complication forced him to reveal his identity, he explained his generosity by saying, “Nobody can wear two pairs of shoes at one time. I simply decided I had enough money.”

A friend of the donor described him as a man who doesn’t own a house or a car, flies economy class, wears a $15 watch, and “didn’t want his money to crush him.”

Our Daily Bread, November 16, 1998
Nobody Did It

This is a story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody and Nobody. There was an important job to do and Everybody was asked to do it. Everybody was sure Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry because it was Everybody’s job. Everybody thought Anybody would do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn’t do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done.

C. Swindoll, Strengthening Your Grip
Nobody Is Afraid of a Shadow

Charles Haddon Spurgeon said, “Death in its substance has been removed, and only the shadow of it remains.… Nobody is afraid of a shadow, for a shadow cannot block a man’s pathway for even a moment. The shadow of a dog can’t bite; the shadow of a sword can’t kill.”

Christ Himself took the full force of death’s destroying power by dying and paying for our sin, then rising from the grave. Trusting Jesus may not remove death’s shadow, but remember, shadows can’t hurt us - D.J.D.

Our Daily Bread
Nobody Knows

A newspaper publisher sent a telegram to a noted astronomer: WIRE COLLECT IMMEDIATELY FIVE HUNDRED WORDS ON WHETHER THERE IS LIFE ON MARS.

The astronomer dutifully replied: NOBODY KNOWS—250 times.

Carl Sagan, Cosmos
Nobody Likes Me

Once I told my old man, ‘Nobody likes me.’

He said, ‘Don’t say that—everybody hasn’t met you yet.’

Rodney Dangerfield, I Don’t Get No Respect
Nobody Listens

General John Galvin, Supreme Allied Commander in Europe and Commander-in-Chief of U.S. European Command, was asked what was it like to be in charge of so many and various forces.

His reply: “I often feel like the director of a cemetery. I have a lot of people under me, but nobody listens.”

Source unknown
Nobody Thinks

A man and his lawyer squared off in court against his opponent and two lawyers. “I want you to hire another attorney to help with my case,” he told his sole counselor. “The other fellow has two.”

“That’s not necessary,” replied his attorney. “I can defend you by myself.”

“I still want a second person,” the defendant insisted. “When one of the plaintiff’s lawyers is talking, the other one is thinking. When you talk, nobody’s thinking.”

Source unknown
Nobody to Forgive Me

Not long before she died in 1988, in a moment of surprising candor in television, Marghanita Laski, one of our best-known secular humanists and novelists, said, “What I envy most about you Christians is your forgiveness; I have nobody to forgive me.”

John Stott in The Contemporary Christian
Nobody’s At Fault

In 1980 a Boston court acquitted Michael Tindall of flying illegal drugs into the United States. Tindall’s attorneys argued that he was a victim of “action addict syndrome,” an emotional disorder that makes a person crave dangerous, thrilling situations. Tindall was not a drug dealer, merely a thrill seeker.

An Oregon man who tried to kill his ex-wife was acquitted on the grounds that he suffered from “depression-suicide syndrome,” whose victims deliberately commit poorly planned crimes with the unconscious goal of being caught or killed. He didn’t really want to shoot his wife; he wanted the police to shoot him.

Then there’s the famous “Twinkie syndrome.” Attorneys for Dan White, who murdered San Francisco mayor George Moscone, blamed the crime on emotional stress linked to White’s junk food binges. White was acquitted of murder and convicted on a lesser charge of manslaughter.

Nowadays, nobody’s at fault for anything. We are a nation of victims.

Louis Lotz, Sioux City, Iowa, Leadership, Winter Quarter, 1992, p. 57
Noise Affects Behavior

Noise affects human behavior. In one experiment carried out by psychologists, a student leaving a library intentionally dropped an armload of books. In 50% of the cases, a passerby stopped to help the student pick up the books. Then the experimenters brought out a lawn mower without a muffler and started it near where a student would again intentionally drop the books. This time, only about 10% of the people who passed stopped to help. It was clear that behavior changed because of the earsplitting sound of the nearby lawn mower. In experiments in Los Angeles, researchers found that children who lived in neighborhoods near the airport could not complete certain tasks undertaken when jets were landing and taking off as easily as children who lived in quiet neighborhoods. Some studies of prison conditions have shown that the high level of noise causes more complaints by prisoners than the food or other prison conditions do.

Source unknown
Noise Affects Human Behavior

Noise affects human behavior. In one experiment carried out by psychologists, a student leaving a library intentionally dropped an armload of books. In 50% of the cases, a passerby stopped to help the student pick up the books. Then the experimenters brought out a lawn mower without a muffler and started it near where a student would again intentionally drop the books. This time, only about 10% of the people who passed stopped to help. It was clear that behavior changed because of the earsplitting sound of the nearby lawn mower. In experiments in Los Angeles, researchers found that children who lived in neighborhoods near the airport could not complete certain tasks undertaken when jets were landing and taking off as easily as children who lived in quiet neighborhoods. Some studies of prison conditions have shown that the high level of noise causes more complaints by prisoners than the food or other prison conditions do.

Source Unknown
None of These Diseases

S. I. McMillen, in his book None of These Diseases, tells a story of a young woman who wanted to go to college, but her heart sank when she read the question on the application blank that asked, “Are you a leader?” Being both honest and conscientious, she wrote, “No,” and returned the application, expecting the worst. To her surprise, she received this letter from the college:

“Dear Applicant: A study of the application forms reveals that this year our college will have 1,452 new leaders. We are accepting you because we feel it is imperative that they have at least one follower.”

Source unknown
None Other Lamb

None other Lamb, none other Name,

None other Hope in heaven or earth or sea,

None other Hiding-place from guilt and shame,

None beside Thee.

My faith burns low, my hope burns low

Only my heart’s desire cries out in me

By the deep thunder of its want and woe

Cries out to Thee.

Lord, Thou are Life tho’ I be dead,

Love’s Fire Thou are, however cold I be:

Nor heaven have I, nor place to lay my head,

Nor home, but Thee.

Christina G. Rossetti

Source unknown
None Righteous

An Indian and a white man were brought under deep conviction of sin by the same sermon. The Indian was immediately led to rejoice in pardoning mercy. The white man was in distress for a long time, almost to despair. But at last he was brought to a joyous sense of sins forgiven. Sometime after, while meeting his Indian brother, he said to him, "How is it that I should be so long under conviction, when you found peace at once?" "Oh, brother," replied the Indian, "I will tell you. There comes along a rich prince. He proposes to give you a new coat; you look at your coat and say, 'I don't know; my coat looks pretty good; it will do a little longer.' He then offered me a new coat. I look at my old blanket; I say, 'This is good for nothing,' and accept the beautiful new garment. Just so, brother, you try to keep your own righteousness. You won't give it up; but I, poor Indian, could see that I had none, so I was glad at once to receive the righteousness of God-the Lord Jesus Christ."

Anonymous
Nontranscendent Religious Options

The problem that arises in a view of the world that is tacitly closed to any transcendent reality is that if suffering occurs it must be resolved in this life. That means it must be (1) justified by the conviction that everyone gets what he or she deserves, (2) justified on the basis of some compensation within life or (3) denied as unreal and illusory. Those three responses are nontranscendent religious options, as well as explanations within a secular world view.

A. J. Conyers, The Eclipse of Heaven, (InterVarsity Press, Downers Grove, Illinois), p. 66
Nordic Tract

“Nordic Track never used. Will trade for breadmaker.”

Want ad reported on the Tonight Show, quoted in MSC Newsletter
Norman Vincent Peale

In his book Why Prayers are Unanswered, John Lavender retells a story about Norman Vincent Peal.

When Peale was a boy, he found a big, black cigar, slipped into an alley, and lit up. It didn’t taste good, but it made him feel very grown up…until he saw his father coming. Quickly he put the cigar behind his back and tried to be casual. Desperate to divert his father’s attention, Norman pointed to a billboard advertising the circus.

“Can I go, Dad? Please, let’s go when it comes to town.”

His father’s reply taught Norman a lesson he never forgot.

“Son, he answered quietly but firmly, “never make a petition while at the same time trying to hide a smoldering disobedience.”

- Kirk Russel

John Lavender, Why Prayers are Unanswered
North Pole Expedition

Intelligent people can sometimes be unbelievably foolish. Consider the 19th-century explorers of the Franklin Expedition who tried to reach the North Pole, Annie Dilllard, in her book Teaching a Stone to Talk, describes the provisions they took for that hazardous journey:

“Each sailing vessel carried an auxiliary steam engine and a 12-day supply of coal for the entire projected 2- or 3-year voyage. Instead of additional coal…each ship made room for a 1,200-volume library, a hand-organ playing 50 tunes, china place settings for officers and men, cut-glass wine goblets, and sterling silver flatware. The expedition carried no special clothing for the Arctic, only the uniforms of Her Majesty’s Navy.”

Imagine heading into frigid wastelands with supplies like that! What utter folly!

Our Daily Bread, February 6, 1998
Not a Coward

A young soldier who was showing signs of panic on the eve of his first battle was chaffed by a veteran. "Why, sonny," he said, "you're shaking with fear. Don't be such a coward." "I'm not a coward," hotly retorted the youth. "If you felt half as scared as I do, you'd run away!" He was right. That young man was not a coward because he felt fear, but he would have been a coward if he had allowed it to master him and drive him from his post of duty.

Anonymous
Not a Curse but a Blessing

Dr. Thomas Lambie, for many years a medical missionary in Abyssinia, said that while he was in Africa he learned something very significant from the natives. They often had to cross bridgeless streams, a difficult procedure because of the danger of being swept off their feet and carried downstream to great depths or hurled to death against the hidden rocks. Dr. Lambie learned from the natives the best way to make such a hazardous crossing. The man about to cross found a large stone, the heavier the better, lifted it to his shoulder, and carried it across the stream as ballast. The extra weight of the stone kept his feet solidly on the bed of the stream so that he could cross safely without being swept away. Thus, the spiritual man regards the heavy stones, the burdens he has to carry in life, not as curses as the natural man would tend to interpret them, but as steadying influences, as God's provisions enabling him to cross safely to the realm beyond.

Anonymous
Not a Dying Thief but a Living Thief

A minister was talking to a man who professed conversion. "Have you united with a church?" he asked him. "No, the dying thief never united with a church and he went to heaven," was the answer. "Have you ever sat at the Lord's table?" "No, the dying thief never did and he was accepted." "Have you been baptized?" "No, the dying thief was never baptized and he went to heaven." "Have you given to missions?" "No, the dying thief did not, and he was not judged for it." "Well, my friend, the difference between you two seems to be that he was a dying thief and you are a living thief."

Anonymous
Not a Garage

The extent of redemption reaches to my body. The result of redemption: my body should be a temple, not a garage. The purpose of redemption: glorify God in my body.

Source unknown
Not a Guest

A little girl of five was saying grace at the table. She prayed as she had heard others pray, "Come, Lord Jesus, be our Guest." Then turning suddenly to her mother, she said, "But, Mother, I do not want Jesus to be our Guest!"

"Why dear?" asked the horrified mother.

To which the little one replied, "Well, a guest is one who comes here sometimes. I want Jesus here all the time!"

Anonymous
Not a Normal Birth

A little boy asked his mother where he came from, and also where she had come from as a baby. His mother gave him a tall tale about a beautiful white-feathered bird. The boy asked his grandmother the same question and received a variation on the bird story. Outside to his playmate he said, “You know, there hasn’t been a normal birth in our family for three generations.”

Howard Hendricks, quoted in Homemade, September, 1989
Not a Product of Chance

Near the end of his life, Jean-Paul Sartre told Pierre Victor: “I do not feel that I am the product of chance, a speck of dust in the universe, but someone who was expected, prepared, prefigured. In short, a being whom only a Creator could put here; and this idea of a creating hand refers to God.”

Protested fellow philosopher and long-time companion Simone de Beauvoir: “How should one explain the senile act of a turncoat?”

HIS Magazine, April, 1983
Not a Rascal by God's Grace

A good Scotsman called to see Rowland Hill, that eminent English clergyman who did so much for the betterment of his countrymen. Without saying a word, he sat still for some five minutes looking into Rowland Hill's face. At last Mr. Hill asked him what held his attention. Said the Scotsman, "I was looking at the lines of your face." "Well, what do you make out of them?" "Why," said he, "that if the grace of God hadn't been in you, you would have been the biggest rascal living!"

Anonymous
Not Anger but Anguish

What we need today is not anger, but anguish, the kind of anguish that Moses displayed when he broke the two tablets of the law and then climbed the mountain to intercede for his people, or that Jesus displayed when He cleansed the temple and then wept over the city. The difference between anger and anguish is a broken heart. It’s easy to get angry, especially at somebody else’s sins; but it’s not easy to look at sin, our own included, and weep over it.

The Integrity Crisis by Warren W. Wiersbe, Thomas Nelson Publishers, 1991, pp. 75-76
Not Ashamed

“I would propose that the subject of the ministry of this house, as long as this platform shall stand, and as long as this house shall be frequented by worshipers, shall be the person of Jesus Christ. I am never ashamed to avow myself a Calvinist; I do not hesitate to take the name of Baptist; but if I am asked what is my creed, I reply, "It is Jesus Christ." My venerated predecessor, Dr. Gill, has left a [theological heritage] admirable and excellent in its way. But the [legacy] to which I would pin and bind myself forever, God helping me,...is Jesus Christ, who is the arm and substance of the gospel, who is in Himself all theology, the incarnation of every precious truth.”

C. H. Spurgeon, first words in the pulpit of the Metropolitan Tabernacle, London
Not Ashamed of Christ

A young man got up to give his testimony for Christ in an open air meeting. Not being accustomed to speaking in public, he stammered a good deal at first. An atheist who came by shouted at him, "You ought to be ashamed of yourself standing and talking like that!" "You're right," the young man replied. "I am ashamed of myself, but I'm not ashamed of Christ."

Anonymous
Not Better Off

A five year study of children of divorced parents in California questions that children are better off when their parents divorce than when they stay in an unhappy marriage. Many of the children would have been “content to hobble along in an unhappy marriage and they did not experience the divorce as a solution to their unhappiness.” Most of them harbored fantasies of a “magical reconciliation.” The divorced family is less adaptive economically, socially, and psychologically to the raising of children than the two-parent family.

Psychology Today, in Homemade, July, 1985
Not Cross-Eyed

The brilliant physician and writer Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr., and his brother John represent two radically different views on the subject of flattery. Dr. Holmes loved to collect compliments, and when he was older he indulged his pastime by saying to someone who had just praised his work,

“I am a trifle deaf, you know. Do you mind repeating that a little louder?”

John, however, was unassuming and content to be in his older brother’s shadow. He once said that the only compliment he ever received came when he was six. The maid was brushing his hair when she observed to his mother that little John wasn’t all that cross-eyed!

Source unknown
Not Deep-But Muddy

"Isn't Rev. So-and-so a deep preacher?" asked a friend. "Well," replied the other smiling. "I'll tell you a story. When I was a boy I was amusing myself with some other boys in a pool. Some of them were going farther out than I was disposed to go, and I was frightened. To a man who was passing by I called out, 'Is the pool deep?' 'No, son,' he replied, 'it's only muddy.' "

Anonymous
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