Lectionary Calendar
Saturday, June 1st, 2024
the Week of Proper 3 / Ordinary 8
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Read the Bible

Simplified Cowboy Version

Luke 24

Jesus Comes Riding Back

1 Very early on Sunday morning, the women went to the tomb to prepare Jesus's body. 2 The stone that blocked the entrance had been pushed aside, 3 so they went in, but Jesus wasn't there. 4 As they stood in the tomb, two cowboys appeared to them. The two men shone so brightly they had to squint their eyes.

5 The women came close to freakin' out, and they hit the ground and bowed low before the two cowboys. One of the men asked, "Why do you search a tomb for one who is alive? 6 The one you look for isn't here. He has ridden back from the dead. He told y'all this would happen, 'Sinners will double-cross God's Top Hand and be strung up, but he will come riding back on the third day.'"

8 When the man said this, all the things Jesus had said started to make sense. 9 The women ran back to tell everyone, including the remaining eleven cowboys, what had happened. 10 Mary Magdalene, Joanna, James's momma Mary, and several others described to the cowboys what had happened at the tomb. 11 The cowboys scoffed at the idea of such a thing and didn't believe a word of it. 12 But Pete had to see for himself. He ran to the tomb and looked. All that was inside was the linen cloth. He went back and wondered what had happened to Jesus.

The Emmaus Trail

13 The same day, two of the cowboys who rode with Jesus were riding down the seven-mile trail from Jerusalem to Emmaus.14 They talked about everything that had happened that weekend. 15 As they were talking, a cowboy came up and rode beside them. 16 God kept the two from recognizing Jesus.

17 He said, "Y'all seem to be in a deep discussion. What're y'all talking about?"

They reined up, and he could see the sadness in their eyes. 18 Cleopas said, "Are you the only one around here who hasn't heard what happened?"

19 "What happened to cause such a stir?" Jesus asked.

"Jesus, the cowboy from Nazareth, the one who did so many miracles, the one who taught us so many things . . . he's what happened. 20 The religious leaders had him killed. 21 We all thought he was the Top Hand who would come and rescue God's people from the Romans. But he died three days ago."

22 "Some women who have been with us who rode with Jesus went to the tomb this morning to prepare his body, but they came back with a tale too hard to believe. 23 They said Jesus was not there and two angels told them he had ridden back from the dead. 24 Some of the cowboys went to the tomb, and they verified that Jesus's body was indeed gone."

25 Then Jesus said, "Why is it so hard to believe and so easy to be foolish? 26 Didn't the Good Book clearly say the Top Hand would suffer many things before he rode into God's outfit and took his place at his Dad's right hand?" 27 Then Jesus took them on the journey through the scriptures that told of what had just happened.

28 Jesus finished about the time they got to Emmaus, but he acted like he was going to ride on. 29 The two cowboys begged him, "It's getting late. Stay here with us tonight and let's talk more!" So, he went in with them. 30 When they sat down to eat, Jesus took the bread and gave thanks to God for it. He broke it and handed it out. 31 When this happened, the two cowboys were allowed to recognize him for who he was and then he disappeared!

32 The two cowboys sat there slack-jawed and with tears in their eyes. They said, "Couldn't you feel the truth burn inside you as he explained the Scriptures to us?" 33 They wasted no time and saddled back up to head to Jerusalem. When they got there, all eleven of the remaining cowboys were there. They rushed in 34 and said, "It's all true! Jesus has ridden back into town. Ask Pete, he has seen him!"

Jesus Shows Up

35 As the two from Emmaus were explaining how Jesus had ridden with them and taught them. They told the tale of not recognizing him until Jesus had broken the bread and handed it to them. 36 And at that moment, Jesus was suddenly in the room and said, "Howdy, boys. Peace be with y'all." 37 But the boys didn't have peace, they were scared out of their minds. They thought a ghost had shown up.

38 "Why are y'all afraid?" Jesus asked. "I can see doubts in your hearts. 39 Look at my hands and feet where the nails were. It's me, boys. Touch me, I ain't no ghost. You can't feel a spirit, but you can touch me." 40 Jesus held out his hands and put his foot out so they could see.

41 No one said a word. The cowboys stood there frozen in shock, fear, and disbelieving wonder. Then Jesus looked around and said, "Y'all got any vittles?" 42 Someone handed him a piece of jerky, and 43 they watched as he ate.

44 Then he said, "You know? I told all y'all this would have to happen. Everything that Moses said, everything the old cowboy prophets said, everything the Psalms said, all of it had to happen." 45 Then he unlocked the understanding in their minds, and everything made sense. 46 He continued, "It's been in the Good Book all along that the Top Hand would suffer, be killed, and come riding back on the third day. 47 It also said that if anyone would turn from sin and ride for me, I would forgive their sins. This good news has started in Jerusalem and will go out to every nation on earth. 48 Y'all are witnesses that everything is just as I've said. 49 I'm going to send you a helper to accomplish all of this. My Dad promised you this gift but stay here until you receive it. You'll know you have it when power from heaven clothes you."

50 Later on, Jesus led them out near Bethany. He lifted his hands and blessed his cowboys. 51 While he was doing this, he was lifted into the air and taken up to heaven. 52 They stayed there for a while and worshiped​ him. Then they returned to Jerusalem, ​and their hearts were full of joy. 53 And for a long time, they stayed at the main church. They continually thanked God for all he had done.

 
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