Lectionary Calendar
Saturday, June 1st, 2024
the Week of Proper 3 / Ordinary 8
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Read the Bible

Simplified Cowboy Version

Luke 23

1 Then they gathered Jesus up and marched him out to meet the Roman governor, Pilate. 2 When they arrived, they told Pilate, "This man is trying to claim he is the true king of this land and he tells people not to pay taxes to Rome."

3 Pilate looked down at Jesus and said, "Are you the king of these Jews?"

Jesus looked him in the eye and said, "You spoke the words."

4 Pilate turned to the religious rioters and said, "This man has done nothing wrong."

5 The uproar got even louder as they all shouted, "He causes problems everywhere he goes. He is insolent to our teachings. He started in Galilee and has worked his way here."

6 "If he's from Galilee, send him to Herod. He's in town.7 This man is his problem, not mine." Pilate said.

8 Now Herod was glad to meet the man he'd heard so much about. He wanted to see a miracle. 9 But when he questioned him, Jesus stood stoically and never opened his mouth. 10 The religious rabble stood by and yelled their accusations at Jesus and tried to get Herod riled up. 11 It worked. Herod and his soldiers started making fun of Jesus. Finally, they mocked him by putting a purple robe (the color of royalty) on him and sent him back to Pilate. 12 Now Pilate and Herod had never got along, but they became friends that day.

13 So Pilate got everyone who was trying to have Jesus killed 14 and said to them, "You brought me a man and accused him of inciting riots, but from what I see, he has done nothing wrong. 15 And for that matter, even your own ruler Herod has found nothing to warrant his death. 16 I'll punish him for you, but then I'm letting him go."

18 But the crowd rebelled and said, "Kill Jesus and release Barabbas." 19 (Barabbas had been found guilty of rebellion and murder.)

20 Pilate couldn't believe what he was hearing and tried to talk sense into them. 21 But the kept yelling, "String him up! String him up!"

22 For the third time, Pilate appealed to them, "What for? Look at him! He has done nothing. I will have him whipped, but then I'm releasing him."

23 But the frenzied mob pushed closer and got louder and louder. They yelled for Jesus's death. 24 Finally, fearing that things might get out of hand, Pilate agreed to kill Jesus as they demanded. 25 He released Barabbas and turned Jesus over to them.

They String Jesus Up

26 After everything had been done, they led Jesus out of town to be crucified on a cross. A cowboy named Simon had come to town from his ranch. The Roman soldiers grabbed him and made him carry the cross piece because they were afraid Jesus might die before they got him to the cross. 27 Many people followed them out of town. This included many women who cried for what was happening to Jesus. 28 But he turned to them and said, "Cowgirls of Jerusalem, don't cry for me. Cry for yourselves and your children. 29 There is going to come a day when they will say, 'God has blessed those women who have no child and those who have never fed from their breasts.' 30 The time will come that will be so hard that folks will beg the mountains to fall on them and the hills to bury them. 31 If the things that are being done to me happen in the day, how much worse will they be for others when the night comes? And the night is indeed coming."

32 Two other outlaws were being led out with Jesus to be killed. 33 When they got to Skull Hill, they nailed Jesus to a cross and lifted him up for all to see. The outlaws were also put on crosses—one on the left and one on Jesus's right.

34 Jesus said, "Dad, don't hold this against them. They have no idea what they are truly doing." Below him, the Roman soldiers were betting on his clothes by rolling dice.

35 As the crowds watched, some of the religious leaders laughed and yelled, "If he is God's Son, if he is God's Top Hand, if he can save others, let's see him get himself off that cross!" 36 The soldiers also made fun of him by offering him some sour wine like they were his servants and he was a king. 37 Many called out to Jesus saying, "If you are the King of the Jews, prove it by saving yourself!" 38 Someone had placed a handwritten plaque above Jesus's head that said, "King of the Jews."

39 One of the outlaws next to him said, "Show 'em all who is Boss. Save yourself and take us with you."

40 But the other outlaw shushed him and said, "Don't you see? We're fixing to meet our Maker, and 41 we deserve what we're gettin'. But this man," he shook his head sadly as he looked at Jesus, "but this man has done nothing. 42 Jesus? Will you remember me when you ride into your Daddy's outfit today?"

43 And Jesus turned his head and said, "I promise you. You will ride with me through the gate today."

Jesus Breathes His Last

44 Now the sun was standing directly overhead, but a darkness descended over the land for about three hours. 45 The sun seemed to have lost its light. At the same time, the curtain that symbolized the separation of God from man, which hung in the main church, was torn from the top to the bottom. 46 With the last of his strength, Jesus said, "Dad, I give my life into your hands." When he'd spoke these words, his final breath left his body.

47 When the Roman officer in charge of the execution saw this, he fell down on his knees and cried out, "This man was indeed innocent of any crimes we've punished him for." 48 Everyone who had witnessed the execution went away with many tears in their eyes. 49 But those who knew him, including the women from Galilee, stood at a far distance watching everything that happened.

Jesus Is Buried

50 Now there was a good cowboy named Joseph. He'd been a part of the same group that had Jesus killed, 51 but he didn't agree with anything they had done. He was from a town called Arimathea in Judea. He had spent his whole life waiting on God's outfit to get here. 52 This cowboy went to Pilate and asked if he could take down Jesus's body and bury it. 53 When he got the approval, he wrapped the body in a long piece of cloth and laid it in a new tomb carved out of the rock. 54 He had to do it quickly because it was late in the day on Friday and the day of rest was about to begin at sundown.

55 The ladies from Galilee had stood watching all of this and saw where Joseph laid the body. 56 After this was done, they went home to prepare spices and perfumes for Jesus's body. They wouldn't be able to go and put them on him until after the day of rest was over.

 
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