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Getting Unhitched

¹ Then Jesus left and rode off to the region along Jordan Creek. Once again, the crowds of people found him and he taught them about riding for God's outfit.

² Some of the bigwig preachers showed their ugly hides and tried to throw a heel trap at him and get him to say something wrong. They asked him, "Is it right for a cowboy to divorce his wife?"

³ Jesus turned it back on 'em and said, "What did Moses have to say about it?"

⁴ They puffed out their chests as they began to show off their scripture knowledge. "Moses said it was fine. All a cowboy has to do is give her a paper that says they are divorced."

⁵ But Jesus was already shaking his head. "Yeah, he said that, but only because you are weak and don't understand nothin'. ⁶ From the beginning, God made cowboys and cowgirls. ⁷ It's because of this that a cowboy will leave his own parents and unite with a cowgirl and the ⁸ two will become one. In God's eyes, they are one person. ⁹ And what God has joined together, what right has anyone else to come and try to sort off one?"

¹⁰ Later on in the house, the cowboys asked Jesus about what he'd said. ¹¹ He told them, "Anyone (cowboy or cowgirl) who divorces and marries someone else commits adultery. It's as plain and simple as that."

Jesus and the Kids

¹³ In those days, people were always bringing their kids to see Jesus so he could bless 'em. It happened so frequently that the cowboys started trying to keep people from doing it. ¹⁴ But when Jesus saw what was happening, he put a stop to it. He said, "Let them kiddos come to me. God's outfit belongs to kiddos like these. ¹⁵ I'm telling you straight that anyone who doesn't come to me with the faith and honesty of a little kid has no place on my Dad's ranch." ¹⁶ Jesus blessed every kid who ever came to see him.

How to Live Forever

¹⁷ As Jesus rode out one day on his way to Jerusalem, a fellow come running up and got down on his knees in front of him. As he was hunkered over, he asked, "Excuse me good cowboy, but what must I do to live forever?"

¹⁸ Jesus pulled up and asked, "Why do you call me good? No one is good except God himself. Besides that, ¹⁹ you know what the Codes say, 'Don't kill. Don't jack with another man's Jenny. Don't take what ain't yours. Don't say things about others that you know ain't right. Don't talk ill of another man, and hold your mom and dad in high regard.'"

²⁰ The man was smilin' and pattin' himself on the back on the back so hard Jesus was afraid he'd hurt himself. The guy said, "Well I'm as good as gold then. I've done all these things since I was just a little nub."

²¹ As Jesus was looking at him, he felt a tremendous love for the man and so he told him the truth of the matter. "Hang on there, cowboy. One more thing, go and sell every single thing you own and give it to the poor and you will be a rich man in heaven. Once you're done selling, then come and ride for me and I'll take care of you."

²² You would have thought Jesus had just shot the man's favorite dog. The man was wealthy and he wasn't about to sell everything he had and put his life in the hands of someone else, let alone God.

²³ As the man walked away with his tail between his legs, Jesus told his cowboys, "A man who won't let go of the world will never be able to fit through the entrance to God's place."

²⁴ The cowboys all looked at each other in bewilderment at what Jesus had just said. Jesus continued, "I tell you the truth, ²⁵ it'd be easier for a bull to jump through a cinch ring than for a rich man to fit through the gate into heaven."

²⁶ They all started talking at once, but the questions were the same. "Then who can fit through?"

²⁷ Jesus turned to them and said, "A cowboy who thinks he can get there on his own will never make it, but a cowboy who trusts in God and God alone will never miss the gate . . . or anything else."

²⁸ Pete spoke up and said, "Well, we've left everything behind to ride with you."

²⁹ Jesus nodded and added, "Listen, there ain't a cowboy alive who has left their home, their job, their family, or anything, or anyone, in order to ride with me ³⁰ who won't get a hundred times back anything they think they've left. It won't be easy, but it'll all be worth it. But one thing to remember, ³¹ those who ride the longest will be the last to ride through the gate. A good cowboy always makes sure everyone is through the gate before he gets off and shuts it."

Jesus Talks about Dying and Riding Back from the Grave

³² They were still riding for Jerusalem, with Jesus in the lead. The cowboys weren't sure of what was coming so Jesus pulled them aside and told 'em what they should expect. ³³ "This will be the end of the line for me, boys. I'm going to be double-crossed by a pard and the religious institution that claims to serve God. They are going to sentence me to death and hand me over to the Romans. ³⁴ These people are going to mock me, spit on me, beat me nearly to death, and ultimately, kill me. Yet all of this is supposed to happen, because I'm going to come riding back from the dead three days later."

James and John Ask a Favor

³⁵ The brothers, James and John, took Jesus to one side and said, "We'd like for you to do us a favor."

³⁶ "What is it that you want?"

³⁷ They looked at each other and continued, "When you take your spot at the head of the ranch, we want to ride on your right and left. You know, up front with you."

³⁸ But Jesus said, "You don't have any idea what you're asking for. Do you think you will be able to ride the trail that I'm fixing to go down?"

³⁹ "Yes sir!" They exclaimed.

Then he said to them, "Well, in that case, you will travel down the same trail as I do, ⁴⁰ but it ain't for me to decide who rides to my left and my right. These spots are reserved for who my Dad wants there."

⁴¹ Now the other cowboys heard what was happening and they got all frazzled up over the conversation. ⁴² Jesus told 'em all to quiet down and listen to what he had to say. "This outfit don't work the way it does everywhere else. Everyone down here wants titles and positions so they can tell others what to do and be looked up to like they are something special. ⁴³ But here in this outfit, it works completely opposite. ⁴⁴ The top hand among you will be the one who puts everyone else first and himself last. ⁴⁵ For even the Greatest Top Hand did not come down here to ride all high and mighty, but he came to serve others, and to offer his life as a ransom for everyone else."

Jesus Heals a Blind Vagrant

⁴⁶ They were passing through Jericho and on the outskirts, they ran into a blind beggar named Bartimaeus. He was sitting beside the road. ⁴⁷ When the blind fellow heard that it was Jesus riding by, he hollered out, "Jesus! Please help me!"

⁴⁸ A lot of people tried to shut him up because of the racket he was making, but he kept it up. "Jesus, please, please help me!"

⁴⁹ Jesus reined up and said, "Tell him to come here."

People around him said, "Quick, get up. Jesus is calling you. Don't be scared!" Immediately, like a shot from a gun, ⁵⁰ he threw off his poncho, jumped up, and ran in the direction of Jesus.

⁵¹ Jesus said to him as he got close, "What do you want from me?"

The fellow slid to a stop and said, "Please let me see again."

⁵² Jesus smiled and said, "Go, your faith has given you back your eyes."

And just like that, the man's sight returned, but he didn't leave . . . he followed Jesus.