Verse-by-Verse Bible Commentary
Proverbs 23:3

Bridgeway Bible Commentary

Social-climbers and others (23:1-35)

Those who seek status like to mix with the upper classes and try to copy their habits. But because of their ignorance of how to eat fine foods, they make fools of themselves and so spoil their chances of progressing up the social ladder. The food they desire becomes the means of their downfall (23:1-3). The desire for wealth can lead to disappointment (4-5), and the efforts to win the favour of others may win only their disfavour. This may particularly be the case when the wealthy are miserly; for they may be thinking all the time of how much it is costing them to entertain those who seek their favour (6-8).
Trying to teach wisdom to fools is a waste of time (9). Exploitation of the poor is dangerous, for God is their protector (10-11). If people are keen to learn wisdom, and just as keen to train their children likewise, they will have deep satisfaction (12-16).
When the wicked prosper, the righteous should not envy them, but realize that God in his time will punish evil and reward good (17-18). Those who cannot control their eating and drinking habits only create trouble for themselves (19-21). Children should respect their parents. If from an early age they are taught the value of goodness and wisdom, they will bring joy to their parents in later life (22-25). Prostitution leads not only to personal ruin but also to social decay (26-28).
Among the fruits of drunkenness are sorrow, trouble, physical injury and bad health (29-30). Drinking may be enjoyable, but when drunkenness results, the person’s stomach, eyesight, mind, speech and ability to walk are all badly affected (31-34). Yet the drunkard declares that he suffers no ill effects from drink, and boasts that he is looking forward to more (35).

Coffman's Commentaries on the Bible

Word 6.

“When thou sittest to eat with a ruler, Consider diligently him that is before thee; And put a knife to thy throat, If thou be a man given to appetite. Be not desirous of his dainties; Seeing they are deceitful food.”

George DeHoff commented on this: “Proper etiquette in eating is encouraged. One’s table manners are important. When invited to the table of one’s betters, he should eat moderately, and not as half-starved. It is better not to eat and drink those things to which one is not accustomed.”George DeHoff’s Commentary, Vol. III, p. 293.

Barnes' Notes on the Whole Bible

Dainties ... deceitful meat - Such as “savory meat,” venison Genesis 27:4, offered not from genuine hospitality, but with some by-ends.

Smith's Bible Commentary

Chapter 23

Now the next three verses are coupled together.

When you sit to eat with a ruler, consider diligently what is before thee: And put a knife to your throat, if you be a man given to appetite. Be not desirous of his dainties: for they are deceitful meat ( Proverbs 23:1-3 ).

So you don't go in and start scarfing up the hors d'oeuvres, you know. All of these dainty little fancy things, you know, and you go in and just start woofing them down. And never any way you're going to fill up on hors d'oeuvres. So when you sit with the ruler, just consider diligently what's put before you. And if you're given to appetite, better to just take your knife, put it to your throat. Don't be desirous of those little dainties. Keep your hands off. They're deceitful.

Labor not to be rich: cease from your own wisdom ( Proverbs 23:4 ).

The Bible says, "If riches increase... " Now it says, "Labor not." Don't let that be a goal of life. But, "If riches increase, set not your heart upon them" ( Psalms 62:10 ). God may see fit to increase riches. Just don't let your heart get set on them.

Wilt thou set thine eyes upon that which is not? for riches certainly make themselves wings; they fly away as an eagle toward heaven ( Proverbs 23:5 ).

The next three verses are coupled together.

Eat not the bread of him that hath an evil eye ( Proverbs 23:6 ),

Now, this isn't referring to the old superstition that there are some people that have an evil eye, that they can look on you with that evil eye and put a hex on you. It's almost humorous to watch the preliminaries of some of these boxing matches where they have these guys over in the corner, you know, to put the evil eye on the other boxer, and you see them trying to put this evil eye and hex, and you see the boxer deliberately avoiding, won't look and see that evil eye. But this is not at all a reference to some kind of a power that a person has to put a hex on you with an evil eye.

Actually, it is just referring to a person whose mind is evil, to an evil person. "Eat not the bread of him who is evil."

neither desire his dainty meats: For as he thinks in his heart, so is he ( Proverbs 23:6-7 ):

If he is thinking this evil in his heart, then he's an evil person.

Eat and drink, he says to you; but his heart is not with you. The morsel which you have eaten you will vomit up, and lose thy sweet words. Speak not in the ears of a fool: for he will despise the wisdom of your words ( Proverbs 23:7-9 ).

And again, we had in the last chapter.

Remove not the old landmark; and enter not into the fields of the fatherless: For their Redeemer is mighty; and he shall plead their cause with thee ( Proverbs 23:10-11 ).

In other words, God will take up the cause of the widow or of the orphan, of the poor. If you're a widow, if you're an orphan, you're poor, you got a fantastic ally. God will take up your cause.

Apply thine heart unto instruction, thine ears to the words of knowledge. And withhold not correction from the child: for if you beat him with the rod, he shall not die ( Proverbs 23:12-13 ).

You'll get arrested.

Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell ( Proverbs 23:14 ).

Now, as we mentioned this morning, "Train up a child in the way he should go." In the Hebrew literally is, "Train up a child according to his way." That is, recognize that there is a vast difference in the character, in the personalities of children. And there are some children where spanking is excellent discipline. There are other kids you can beat all day and it's not going to do any good. So learning that children have different temperaments, you're training then is according to their temperament. "Train up a child according to his way." And there's no sense of wailing on a kid that doesn't do any good. Find another form of discipline. You can find an effective form of discipline. Maybe the depravation of certain privileges or desires that the child has is an excellent form of discipline for particular children. But I don't advocate child beating, and neither do I believe that the scriptures advocate that. But for some kids, a good wailing once in a while isn't a bad idea.

As I said, several years ago I knew much more about raising children than I do now. In our first pastorate, small little church, sort of a one-room church, and for Sunday school we just had curtains to divide off the auditorium into the classrooms. It wasn't an ideal situation at all. In fact, it was a very difficult situation, especially because the lady who was teaching the high school class had a little girl that she never disciplined. And a child left to itself will bring reproach to its parents. And because this little girl was never disciplined, she would just start screaming, and because we were all in the same room only divided by curtains, it would disrupt the whole Sunday school. And, of course, I was very young and very new to pastoring, and I didn't have any children so I had all the answers for raising children and everything else.

So the second Sunday that we were in this church and the same procedure started again as this mother started to teach the class, her little girl started screaming and yelling. I went up to her and graciously offered to take her little girl for a walk. I would never do it now. But I spanked that little gal when I got her outside. Got her about a block away and then I applied some psychology where I thought it would do the most good. It worked. I don't advocate it, but it worked. I'll tell you, from then on whenever that little girl would start to scream, I'd look at her and she'd go.

Several years ago, I was directing a summer camp in Arizona and this nice looking young lady about eighteen years old came up to me and said, "Do you know who I am?" And I looked at her and I said, "Well, no, I don't." She said, and she gave me her name, and I said, "Oh, no." She grew up to be a very lovely young lady. I don't know that my spanking had anything to do with that, but I'd like to think that it did.

These next few are coupled together.

My son, if your heart is wise, my heart shall rejoice. Yes, my reins shall rejoice, when your lips speak right things ( Proverbs 23:15-16 ).

Now the reins are really the kidneys. And they felt that the deepest emotions of a person are not really felt in your heart, Valentine's Day notwithstanding, but the deepest emotions of a person are felt down in the stomach region. When you really feel an emotion extremely deep, you feel it in the region of the stomach. That's why in the New Testament you have "bowels of compassion" ( 1 John 3:17 ). As the deepest area of feeling is way down and we say, "I had a gut-level feeling, you know." And we're trying to describe a feeling that is more than just an emotional moment. But where I feel something very deeply. So here is the father talking to his son. "My heart will rejoice. Yea, even deeper than that. If you're a wise son and you speak wise things and right things, down in the deepest area I rejoice."

Let not your heart envy sinners: but reverence the LORD all day long. For surely there is an end; and your expectation shall not be cut off. Hear thou, my son, and be wise, and guide your heart in the way ( Proverbs 23:17-19 ).

Again, there is an end. Look down the road. Consider the end result. There is an end to all things. That is, of this life, and then I'm going to stand before God. So consider that.

Be not among winebibbers; among riotous eaters of meat: For the drunkard and the glutton shall come to poverty: and drowsiness shall clothe a man with rags. Hearken unto your father that begat thee, and despise not your mother when she is old. Buy the truth, and sell it not; also wisdom, and instruction, and understanding. The father of the righteous shall greatly rejoice: and he that begets a wise child shall have the joy of him. Thy father and thy mother shall be glad, and she that bore thee shall rejoice. My son, give me your heart, let your eyes observe my ways. For a whore is a deep ditch; and a strange woman is a narrow pit. She also lies in wait as for a prey, and increases the transgressors among men ( Proverbs 23:20-28 ).

Now this next portion is all together to the end of the chapter and it's just extremely interesting.

Who has woe? who has sorrow? who has contentions? who has babblings? who has wounds without cause? who has redness of eyes? They that tarry long at the wine; they that go to seek mixed wine. Look not thou upon the wine when it is red, when it giveth his color in the cup, or when it moveth itself aright ( Proverbs 23:29-31 ).

Or when it moves by itself. Some believe that this is talking of the fermentation process. And after the fermentation has taken place, then you should avoid it. In other words, they did have non-fermented types of wines. And once the wine moves of itself in the cup, the fermentation process, then leave it alone.

For at the last it bites like a serpent, and stings like an adder. [As the result] Your eyes will behold strange women ( Proverbs 23:32-33 ),

You will lose your inhibitions.

your heart shall utter perverse things ( Proverbs 23:33 ).

Things that you would not normally say. Things that you would not normally do. But now that you're under the influence, your inhibitions have been loosed, you're going to do all kinds of weird and stupid things.

Yea, thou shalt be as he that lies down in the middle of the sea ( Proverbs 23:34 ),

Doing just really dumb things.

or as one who lies on the top of a mast. They have stricken me, you will say, and I was not sick; they have beaten me, but I didn't feel it ( Proverbs 23:34-35 ):

You'll wake up with all the bruises and cuts and you don't know how you've got them.

when shall I awake? ( Proverbs 23:35 )

And then what happens?

I'll go right back and seek it yet again ( Proverbs 23:35 ).

The tragic effects of alcoholism described quite graphically here in Proverbs.

"

Dr. Constable's Expository Notes

The point of this advice is to be humble and restrained in the presence of a prestigious host. The guest should put a knife to his throat rather than to his food (i.e., curb his appetite, control himself). [Note: Delitzsch, 2:104.]

"Threaten your appetite with death." [Note: Harris, p. 575.]

The fact that the host serves delicacies may not indicate that he esteems the guest highly. The host may simply be getting him in a good mood for his own selfish reasons. He may want something from him or be evaluating him. "What is before you" (Proverbs 23:1) is better than "who is before you." [Note: Waltke, "The Book . . .," pp. 237-38.]

Gill's Exposition of the Whole Bible

Be not desirous of his dainties,.... His savoury food, which is very grateful to the taste, his rich provisions and royal dainties; do not lust after them, as the word s signifies, in an immoderate way, as the Israelites lusted after the fleshpots in Egypt: these may be lawfully desired, but not sinfully lusted after; and in feeding on them nature may be satisfied, and not the sensual lusts gratified in such a manner they crave, which would be criminal;

for they [are] deceitful meat; or, "bread of lies" t: through the pleasant and agreeable taste of them, they lead on to luxury and excess before a man is aware, and so deceive him; they promise him a great deal of pleasure, but, being too much indulged to, they produce sickness and nauseousness. Some think they are called so, from the intention and issue of them; being designed to draw out secrets, which men are very apt to divulge, when they have ate and drank freely. Some apply this to false doctrines, which are framed sometimes in a very plausible manner, and deceive the simple; are bread of lies, lies in hypocrisy, and are very pernicious; such words eat, as do a canker, instead of yielding solid nourishment.

s אל תתאו "ne concupiscas", Pagninus, Montanus, Mercerus, Cocceius, Gejerus, Schultens; "ne coucupiscito", Piscator. t לחם כזבים "panis mendaciorum", Montanus, Munster, Vatablus, Mercerus, Cocceius, Gejerus, Michaelis; "cibus mendaciorum", Piscator, Schultens.

Henry's Complete Commentary on the Bible

      1 When thou sittest to eat with a ruler, consider diligently what is before thee:   2 And put a knife to thy throat, if thou be a man given to appetite.   3 Be not desirous of his dainties: for they are deceitful meat.

      The sin we are here warned against is luxury and sensuality, and the indulgence of the appetite in eating and drinking, a sin that most easily besets us. 1. We are here told when we enter into temptation, and are in most danger of falling into this sin: "When thou sittest to eat with a ruler thou has great plenty before thee, varieties and dainties, such a table spread as thou has seldom seen; thou are ready to think, as Haman did, of nothing but the honour hereby done thee (Esther 5:12), and the opportunity thou hast of pleasing thy palate, and forgettest that there is a snare laid for thee." Perhaps the temptation may be stronger, and more dangerous, to one that is not used to such entertainments, than to one that always sits down to a good table. 2. We are here directed to double our guard at such a time. We must, (1.) Apprehend ourselves to be in danger: "Consider diligently what is before thee, what meat and drink are before thee, that thou mayest choose that which is safest for thee and which thou art least likely to eat and drink of to excess. Consider what company is before thee, the ruler himself, who, if he be wise and good, will take it as an affront for any of his guests to disorder themselves at his table." And, if when we sit to eat with a ruler, much more when we sit to eat with the ruler of rulers at the Lord's table, must we consider diligently what is before us, that we may not in any respect eat and drink unworthily, unbecomingly, lest that table become a snare. (2.) We must alarm ourselves into temperance and moderation: "Put a knife to thy throat, that is, restrain thyself, as it were with a sword hanging over thy head, from all excess. Let these words, Take heed lest at any time your hearts be overcharged with surfeiting and drunkenness, and so that day come upon you unawares--or those, For all these things, God shall bring thee into judgment--or those, Drunkards, shall not inherit the kingdom of God, be a knife to the throat." The Latins call luxury gula--the throat. "Take up arms against that sin. Rather be so abstemious that thy craving appetite will begin to think thy throat cut than indulge thyself in voluptuousness." We must never feed ourselves without fear (Jude 1:12), but we must in a special manner fear when temptation is before us. (3.) We must reason ourselves into a holy contempt of the gratifications of sense: "If thou be a man given to appetite, thou must, by a present solution, and an application of the terrors of the Lord, restrain thyself. When thou art in danger of falling into any excess put a knife to thy throat; that may serve for once. But that is not enough: lay the axe to the root; mortify that appetite which has such a power over thee: Be not desirous of dainties." Note, We ought to observe what is our own iniquity, and, if we find ourselves addicted to flesh-pleasing, we must not only stand upon our guard against temptations from without, but subdue the corruption within. Nature is desirous of food, and we are taught to pray for it, but it is lust that is desirous of dainties, and we cannot in faith pray for them, for frequently they are not food convenient for mind, body, or estate. They are deceitful meat, and therefore David, instead of praying for them, prays against them, Psalms 141:4. They are pleasant to the palate, but perhaps rise in the stomach, turn sour there, upbraid a man, and make him sick. They do not yield men the satisfaction they promised themselves from them; for those that are given to appetite, when they have that which is very dainty, are not pleased; they are soon weary of it; they must have something else more dainty. The more a luxurious appetite is humoured and indulged the more humour some and troublesome it grows, and the more hard to please; dainties will surfeit, but never satisfy. But especially they are upon this account deceitful meat, that, while they please the body, they prejudice the soul, they overcharge the heart, and unfit it for the service of God, nay, they take away the heart, and alienate the mind from spiritual delights, and spoil its relish of them. Why then should we covet that which will certainly cheat us?