Bible Commentaries
2 Samuel 14

Verses 1-33

1. INTRO:
   1. Fathers Day: Stand & Pray for.
   2. Effective Fathers are: [The 7 Secrets of Effective Fathers, by Ken Canfield]
      1. Committed to their children
      2. Know their children
      3. Are consistent in their attitudes and behavior
      4. Protect and Provide for their children
      5. Love their children’s mother
      6. Are active listeners to their children
      7. Spiritually equip their children.
   3. The royal family continues to royally unravel. Last 2 chapters…
      1. The child conceived by David/Bathsheba’s illicit union, died soon after he was born.
      2. David’s son Amnon raped his half sister Tamar.
      3. David’s son Absalom seethed for 2 years & retaliated & killed Amnon; since dad wouldn’t so anything about it.
      4. Now, 2 more years have passed since Absalom murdered Amnon. [David now 60 yr old]
      5. But David still loved his son & wished to see him again.
   4. Outline: Baiting The Trap; Setting The Trap; Springing The Trap.
      1. Job 18:8-10 For he is cast into a net by his own feet, And he walks into a snare. The net takes him by the heel, And a snare lays hold of him. A noose is hidden for him on the ground, And a trap for him in the road.
2. Baiting, Setting, & Springing The Trap! (1-20)
   1. ​​​​​​​BAITING THE TRAP! (1-3)
   2. Joab devises a plan to bring Absalom back to Israel.
   3. The village of Tekoah was about 12 miles south of Jerusalem.
   4. SETTING THE TRAP! (4-11)
   5. This woman approaches David, pretending that one of her 2 sons killed the other. She asks for mercy upon the survivor. David guarantees that her son will be allowed to safely return.
      1. This woman was both wise & a good actress.
      2. A perfectly fabricated family problem.
      3. Almost Cain & Abel-esque [2 brothers arguing in a field]
   6. (7) They would extinguish my ember that is left - What pathos & poetry in this metaphor.
      1. My last coal on the fire; which glows w/the light of hope, for my lonely heart.
   7. (11) David issues a royal edict. A presidential Pardon. Clemency(mercy/leniency).
      1. While she moved his compassion, she won him to pity on himself & a favorable sentence on Absalom. (Bishop Hall)
      2. Nathan’s story about the ewe lamb touched the heart of David the shepherd; This story about a warring family moved the heart of David the father.
   8. SPRINGING THE TRAP! (12-20)
   9. The woman then urges David to do this same thing for his son Absalom.
      1. Why don’t you practice what you preach?
   10. (13,14) She makes a profound mistake here.
       1. Yes, He devises means, but there still must be 2 things: Vindication & Confession. [1] Vindication, the price must be paid for the sin [2] Confession, from the offender
          1. In Absalom’s case, there was neither the one nor the other.
          2. He returned, to gratify David’s weak indulgent love, which led to the evils that followed.
             1. He went from “tough love” to “mush love”.
       2. Understand, God cannot, ever, never let His Absalom’s return, just because He wills to do so. If He did, there would be a revolt right through the universe. (F.B.Meyer)
          1. He would have to apologize to Jesus, “Oh, I guess there was another way!”
   11. There must be Expiation & Propitiation!
       1. Expiation: The prefix ex, which means “out of” or “from.” To remove something. It means to pay the penalty for something, to satisfy some demand
       2. Propitiation: has to do with what brings about a change in God’s attitude toward us, so that we are restored to the fellowship and favor of God.
          1. It points to God being appeased. [If I am angry because you have offended me, but you then appease me, the problem will be removed. Thus propitiation brings in the personal element and stresses that God is no longer angry with us]
       3. Expiation the ransom is paid; Propitiation His attitude is changed.
   12. Nathan had a parable to help David do a right thing, repent of his sins! (12:1-6)​​​​​​​ This woman told this parable to encourage David do a wrong thing, restore Absalom w/o 1st insisting on repentance!
       1. Forgiveness that ignores justice is only a fiction. (Warren Wiersbe)
          1. Even God does not restore a banished one(13)w/o 1st paying the price to uphold His law.
          2. Forgiveness is not cheap; it is costly! - But He devises means!
             1. ​​​​​​​Rom.3:23-26 But now God has shown us a way to be made right with him without keeping the requirements of the law, as was promised in the writings of Moses and the prophets long ago. 22 We are made right with God by placing our faith in Jesus Christ. And this is true for everyone who believes, no matter who we are. 23 For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard. 24 Yet God, with undeserved kindness, declares that we are righteous. He did this through Christ Jesus when he freed us from the penalty for our sins. 25 For God presented Jesus as the sacrifice for sin. People are made right with God when they believe that Jesus sacrificed his life, shedding his blood. This sacrifice shows that God was being fair when he held back and did not punish those who sinned in times past, 26 for he was looking ahead and including them in what he would do in this present time. God did this to demonstrate his righteousness, for he himself is fair and just, and he declares sinners to be right in his sight when they believe in Jesus.
             2. God requires we repent & turn from sin.
             3. He devises means! Jesus Christ had to die that we might be forgiven.
3. ABSALOM RETURNS! (21-33)
   1. DAVID SENDS FOR ABSALOM! (21-32)
   2. (24) Absalom returns to Jerusalem, but David refuses to see him.
   3. What Causes “Father Failure”?
      1. Often, dads have no real Strategic Parenting Plan; with a schedule, measurement criteria, and accountability.
      2. Often, dads suffer from poor follow-through, or not enough follow-up.
      3. Often, dads are poorly organized, have poor planning, or poor time management, and they get caught up in the Tyranny of the Urgent vs. the truly necessary.
      4. Often, dads have poor communication skills in speaking and listening, combined with laziness, apathy, and denial, all play a part in lackluster parenting.
   4. A Plan Of Action!
      1. What we need as dads is a plan of action - a Strategic Parenting Plan.
      2. Dads need fathering accountability: to themselves, their families, the community, & God
      3. Dads need to cultivate a culture of learning how to have fun at home?
      4. Dads can we learn to recognize and strive for success/faithfulness with great vigor and consistency on the home front and still make it a fun and even joyful experience?
   5. Robert Lewis says in his book, Raising a Modern Day Night, “Their goal is to raise sons into noble, vibrant, healthy, competent men, with rock solid character and noble aspirations.”
      1. Every son wants his dad to show the way: to life, to God, to authentic masculinity. And every son wants to connect with his dad’s heart, hear his praise, and build lifelong memories.
         1. He shares a unique approach to shaping a boy into a man by equipping him w/3 essential elements: a vision, a code of conduct, and a cause (Christianity) in which to invest his life.
   6. Paul Harvey shares the same thought when he says, “Fathers fight dragons...almost daily. They hurry away from the breakfast table...off to the arena which is sometimes called an office or a workshop. There, with callused, practiced hands, they tackle the dragon with three heads: weariness, work, and monotony. They never quite win the fight, but they never give up. Knights in shining armor—fathers in shiny trousers: there is little difference, as they march away to each new workday.”
   7. (25) Fabio of the OT!
      1. A handsome man. Father of 4. Tall, dark, & handsome...& hairy!
         1. Josephus the historian says Absalom cut his hair once every 8 days. (annual weight about 3lbs)
         2. The only thing weighty about Absalom was his hair!
      2. Good Looks can Camouflage a Bad Heart.
         1. “Beauty of body is often a snare, & hides a pit of corruption.” (F.B.Meyer)
   8. (28-31) The refusal to see Absalom was unwise. David faltered in his policy.
      1. Evidently he was conscious of acting unwisely & unjustly; & this prevented decisiveness, which, in such cases, is always the best policy.
   9. Too often we are content to live w/o seeing the King’s face.
      1. Sometimes the Lord has to set our barley-fields on fire, to bring us to Himself.
   10. (32) Either let the king kill me or exonerate me.
       1. Absalom figured out this partial/conditional forgiveness was like grasping onto no more than a little twig on the river bank, as he was drifting down a muddy river w/a strong current.
   11. DAVID MEETS WITH ABSALOM! (33)
   12. Finally, David agrees to see his son, and the two men are reconciled to each other.
   13. God’s forgiveness is complete; we can come into His presence & look full into His wonderful face!
   14. Absalom’s position improved, being restored back to him; but he never improved his character.
   15. Let’s say one more thing about king David, kissing his son Absalom:
   16. Are you an Intentional Dad?
       1. Jim Rohn says, “What’s easy to do is also easy not to do.”
       2. Here is a list of what I think makes up the Intentional Dad [Taken from Intentionaldad.com]
          1. Dedicate time with your kids; Take your wife on dates; Pursue your own passions; Teach your kids self confidence and humility; Take care of your body w/physical activity; Seek learning and knowledge about many topics; Read books often; Learn how to enjoy your work; Eat well most of the time; Always be in control(of yourself); Pursue great experiences; Save money; Take time for hobbies; Find time for yourself (it’s healthy); Seek progress; Have good friends who are also Intentional Dads; Embrace your emotions; Share struggles with a select group of friends who hold you accountable; Make faith and spirituality a priority.
       3. Being the Intentional Dad takes intention all the time!
          1. Life is rich and rewarding, tough and disappointing.
          2. The Intentional Dad makes lifestyle choices that lead to long-lasting rewards in spirit, health, happiness and love.
          3. Along the way make some money, take risks, try new things and love being who you are.
          4. Now, What would you add to this list?
   17. Let’s say one more thing about our King, kissing his son’s & daughters:
   18. Read The Woman Of Tekoah, pg.21,22.
   19. God our heavenly Father He devised means, so that His banished ones are not expelled from Him...Will you except those means?